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Let's Discuss...Realistic or positive thinking

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Do you believe that positive thinking makes you healthier? Do you feel the pressure of always being positive? Do you feel guilty when you have negative thoughts?


I have been dealing with bladder cancer, which has an 80% recurral rate, for over 5 and 1/2 years now, and there are times when l find it very difficult to deal with both reality and positivity at the same time.  This emotional roller coaster ride is so tiring.  And times it is exhausting to appear to be positive at all times to the people that you love.  I thank God that the ones who truly love me allow me to be my true self when l am amonst them.  My spiritual journey has strengthened me too.  All l can do is take each day as it comes and deal with it the best way l know how.  Gut level honesty with myself is the only way that l can make it through.
  • Posted Tue 14 Feb 2017 09:03 PM EST
I am finally getting back to the old me one year after my treatments ....listening to music again ...enjoying the day ..its taken time to get here ..I am not saying I dont worry anymore. I just put limits on how much I worry. Sometimes you have to tell yourself ..ok enough about that ..I have worried enough today and thats it ....put limits on your bad thoughts and don't let them run your life ....but its easier said than done ..but you will get there
  • Posted Sun 04 Dec 2016 06:45 AM EST
My answer to the original post is Yes, Yes and Yes! I do believe that having a positive attitude helps me feel healthier because I'm not dwelling on the things that 'might happen' or the crappy things that 'are' happening. I also think that a person can be realistic and positive at the same time. The reality for me is that I'm on this road that I do not want to be on, but I don't have a choice so I might as well try and go along the best way I can. I have had a few days where a 'melt down' has happened but thankfully these have been while I was alone. I automatically feel guilty for letting myself get down and out, because I know it won't change the reality I'm dealing with and it only makes me feel weak. Sometimes it does become exhausting to 'put on a face' in front of family and friends all the time - but I think having a frown all the time and constantly focusing on the negative would be even more exhausting.
  • Posted Sat 03 Dec 2016 04:34 PM EST
Positive thinking gets my partner and I through the day. He is the one with cancer, and he is terminal. We don;t stay positive because we believe in miracles; we stay positive because otherwise we would waste what time we have left together. Staying positive means living in the moment. I can despair, or I can remind myself that right now, he is still here with me. In his case, staying positive means spending his days doing the things he loves.
  • Posted Thu 01 Dec 2016 07:57 PM EST
For me, a combination of positive thinking and realistic honesty is what keeps me living happily in the present but not in denial about the future.

Realistically, I know my cancer has a high rate of recurrence. I also know that a recurrence is likely to be metastatic, and thus not curable. I remind myself of this every day, which might sound negative and depressing, but is actually a way of embracing reality and getting comfortable with it (instead of letting it be a dark shadow following me around). It puts things into perspective and makes me more able to enjoy my life NOW, because who knows how long I'll have? It also makes is much easier to prioritize things, knowing that I can't put off my goals and dreams to "someday" because that someday might not come!

That being said, I am very positive and optimistic about life in general. Regardless of how much time I have, I've always felt that there are many great things happening right now and more good things will continue to happen in the future. I believe that life will continue to be filled with love, joy and wonder, even if there are times of darkness or fear.

  • Posted Thu 01 Dec 2016 06:12 PM EST

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