+ Reply
Log in or Register to participate in these discussions
Mom in palliative
HunterA
11 Posts
My mom who is 59 was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer October 2019. She fought through many rounds of chemo, a very invasive surgery, a parb inhibitor and more chemo all while battling sever anxiety/depression. It has been a long challenging road.

After a recent scan showed disease progression, mom was admitted to the hospital with pain in the abdomen in addition to fluid taps every other day. Her condition is declining and sadly was transferred to palliative care. They discovered a partial blockage in her bowel and now isn't allowed to eat

I have 2 young children who are the light of her life. I don't have words to describe the pain in my heart. I can't even visit because i am not fully vaccinated.
12 Replies
Trillium
1763 Posts

Dear @HunterA , I'm so so sorry to read about your mom's struggles with cancer. I can only imagine the pain in your heart, especially not being able to visit with her. Can she use a cell phone or tablet to do a video call with you family? She will be very well taken care of in the hospital.

I'm going to tag @Cynthia Mac who lost her dad to cancer recently and may have some tips for you to deal with the hospital stay during covid.

Warmest hug for you and your family

Trillium

Whitelilies
1901 Posts

@HunterA Hello….I am sorry, to hear of your moms struggles with ovarian cancer….it is so hard, on the entire family.

I understand, that with so many restrictions/covid, you cannot visit….when my dad was in Palliative Care….they had a special, large screen, roving “tablet” (huge), that they would wheel, in to each room (pre booked) and connect the call, with loved ones….ask if they could arrange this….like every day/twice a day….at a time, where your 2 young kids can join in….Perhaps your kids can make a special drawing/painting for your mom…..art is very loving and expressive and healing….to give it, to make it, to receive it…you can drop off to your mom….a bag of beautiful meaningful items…..ie soft blanket….pretty slippers…..lotion…..plant……framed photos…..

It is hard…..let us support you…..

Regards

Whitelilies

Gmaw
1 Posts

I am so sorry… I can't imagine your anguish in not being allowed to see your Mom in this time … do what you can. Thankfully we have social media… use it to connect as best you can. It's important to you, your littles and your Mama.🤟🧡🤗

Cynthia Mac
3575 Posts

@HunterA Your mom has been through a lot, from the sound of it.

My Dad was in palliative care for the last few weeks of his life. For us, it happened before there were covid vaccines, and we weren’t allowed to visit until after he had lost consciousness for the last time. Dad had gone to hospital with stroke-like symptoms that quickly deteriorated into dementia and he couldn’t figure out how to use the hospital phones, so we had to go through the over-worked nursing staff to try and chat with him.

If you are able to get in touch with your mom so she can have her spirits boosted by seeing her grandbabies, that would be great.

I know your heart is aching. Your mom is so young to be leaving you.

When Dad was going through this time, I just kept wishing for his highest good. I knew I didn’t have a say about what that would be, but it helped me to know that if his highest good was to be released from pain, or be able to be reunited with Mom, or even that slim chance of a recovery, that it was something I could wish for him.

HunterA
11 Posts

Thank you for your kind words. There is so much i could elaborate on but everything is so incredibly overwhelming right now i wouldn't even know where to start. I send her pictures and video's daily to boost her. My father and i are trying to encourage her to consider Hospice care. Selfishly for myself so i can see her while she's still well enough but so that she can be somewhere where i know she will want for nothing but to also see her grandbabies.

I'm so sorry to read about your struggles and loss. It's comforting to be able to communicate with people who have been through loss.

I have been lucky in my 32 years to say the closest people i have lost have been my grandparents. It hurts so d*** much.

The nurses have been requesting to the executive director of the hospital to allow me to visit. They have guidelines in place for people who are not fully vaccinated or not at all vaccinated but unfortunately according to the website their palliative performance score must be 20%. Fingers crossed for an accepted request tomorrow. All i want is to see my mom while she is still awake. The anxiety and reality of it all really sets in in the evening.

Thank you all for listening and responding ❤

HunterA
11 Posts

Can you explain what you mean by the Higher good? I'm curious

HunterA
11 Posts

Received word today that mom's bowel is most likely completely blocked now. She is unable to keep the smallest amount of water or juice down. They are going to try Octeotide to help with symptoms.

My heart hurts so bad at the thought of her suffering like this. 💔

Trillium
1763 Posts

@HunterA - I hope they can help your mom and keep her from pain too.

Warm hugs

Trillium

HunterA
11 Posts

Thank you, i just also received word i was approved to go see her. Huge victory in these trying times.

Trillium
1763 Posts

@HunterA - Good to hear you can go see your mom!

HunterA
11 Posts

Does anybody have any recommendations on what i could bring to lift her spirits up? I was planning on bringing pictures of my children. No food as she can't eat.

@HunterA - I am so pleased to hear you will be able to visit your mom afterall. As to what to bring, I think the pictures and your company will be more than enough.

Sending you hugs

Lianne

PS - if you want to reply to a specific post from a specific member, you can type the @sign and then their screen name and it will send them a notificaiton that they were mentioned ( as I have done above with your name)

+ Reply