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My mother passed away of breast cancer 2021
EmilyB04
2 Posts
Hi there, this is a shot in the dark if anyone will answer.
I am 22 and unfortunately lost my mother to breast cancer June 2021. I am heartbroken, she was my best friend. I don’t know what to do without her. I have been working and pushing my feelings down to avoid going through heart break. I have stayed positive as she did throughout her whole journey. But it seems unfair and I don’t know how to grieve. I know everyone does it differently. But my depression has gotten worse and I want nothing more than to have her here with me.
3 Replies
Whitelilies
1475 Posts

@EmilyB04 Dear Emily…..I am so sorry, for the loss, of your mom. It is heartbreaking…..it is difficult……we all understand. (I lost my dad, in March 2021, from Colon cancer).

You shared, you keep your “feelings down/inside”……perhaps, now is a good time, to start, bringing the feelings “up and out”. Perhaps write down your feelings….. like a Journal….any time of day or night….write it down-get the feelings out. Do you have a sibling, or best friend, you can share these feelings with? Sometimes, having someone, else, close by, just to listen……is helpful, and this is a form of grieving.

There is no rule, to grieving…..it is personal…..some are open about it; others are not. Perhaps you can host, a “Celebration Of Life”…..this is what many people do…..have a few loved ones over…..covid rules apply/ outdoors…..for example….everyone can talk and share a wonderful memory, they have, of your mom……laughter is good too….positive and loving memories, are going to keep your heart filled.

Perhaps, at the hospital she attended….there will be an Oncology Social Worker….they can guide you with resources……they are there, to support the patient, and their loved ones……

It is wonderful, that you reached out….we are here…..listening….and understanding…

Warmly,

Whitelilies (Also in ON!)

Brighty
7483 Posts

@EmilyB04 of course we will answer. No one knows better than the folks on the site what's it like to lose someone we love so dearly to cancer. Im so glad you reached out and acknowledged your feelings. It's the first step towards healing. It's still so fresh and new for you and it will take time to heal. There is no one way to grieve, but by pushing it down you will only sink further and further into depression. It might help you to find a grief counselor or a grief support group with others that know exactly what you are going through. You can find some information on ‘mygrief ca' or your family doctor can get a referal for you. I found grief counseling helpful plus I made some good friends out of it. We also have a group on the site here called ‘coping with grief' where members support each other going through the grief process. I promise you this pain will ease up in time. Do you have any other family or close friends to confide in? Reach out to others, let them help you and be there for you. And someday soon, the memories of your mom will make you smile again and bring you comfort. No one can ever take that from you. We are here, and we get it.

Runner Girl
2135 Posts

Hello and welcome @EmilyB04

Please accept my most sincere condolences on the passing of your beloved mother. Losing one's mom is, in my opinion, the most difficult of all the losses one can endure, particularly in one so young as you.

I was 20 when my sister (16) died in April 1986 following a car accident. 3 months later my brother (17) also died after a car accident. I've carried a great burden of guilt and grief since. I did seek counselling help for this and highly recommend you do the same. My dad passed in 2013 from lung cancer. My mom passed in January 2018 from untreated diverticulitis. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in May, 2018.

Please know that you were much loved by your mom and that she would be so sad that you are suffering so much. Seek the help of a counsellor to help you through this time of sadness and grief. Feel free to join us in the group Coping with Grief here on this site.

Sending you a warm hug.

Runner Girl

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