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What do you think? True or False?
12 Replies
ACH2015
2007 Posts
Lacey_Moderator

I never assume anything, so I have to say the statement to me is False.

Demonstrated actions and recommendations are the way to determine which people are doing their best.

ACH2015

ACH2015

I think this quote is an example of a positive way to make assumptions ☺
S2020
99 Posts
Lacey_Moderator

I do not know the context in which this was written or spoken. The author’s work in general has been known to be helpful and useful for many people. Based as is without knowing the context, I would say the comment is false.

The phrase sounds like an excuse to turn a blind eye to poor behaviour under the guise of “People are doing their best.” Even if they are doing their best, there can still be an expectation of them that their behaviour or performance could/should do no harm. Anything less requires action and education to raise “their best” to an acceptable level for the protection of anyone on the receiving end of “their best.”

I have used the phrase, “I did my best and my best wasn’t good enough.” Acknowledging that thought prompts reflection on what to do differently next time. With poor performance or behaviour, stopping at “I did my best” would result in more of the same performance or behaviour without growth or change.
Maly
16 Posts
This is a great quote! I think it's true. When I try to think that people are doing their best it helps me be more empathetic to what they may or may not be going through. I like to think that we all have a story. That helps me think that maybe that person is having a bad day or reacting to something that is happening in their life that I may not know about. I try to tell my kids this as well. I say: if someone is unkind to you, show them what kindness looks like...maybe they need some kindness in their life. You can walk away from the negativity and that is ok.
ACH2015
2007 Posts
Lacey_Moderator

We each have our own thoughts and interpretations on the statement. One person's life experiences may sway one's beliefs as well. None is wrong, just unique to the individual. Sometimes we may need to agree to disagree.

ACH2015
S2020
99 Posts
Interesting comments, everyone. Well said, Lacey_Moderator, ACH2015 and maly
Kims1961
2052 Posts
Lacey_Moderator‍ Thank you! I have now saved this image as a gentle reminder to myself.

I find so much truth in this saying. Leave to Brene to capturing this so well 😀

First - the idea that it helps us - to assume people are doing the best. My sister’s son was in a serious car accident and had to grab some medications for him. She “snapped” at the pharmacist and it wasn’t until the next day that she could process it. She called the pharmacy to apologize and it was cathartic for both of them. Maybe the pharmacist went home that night, upset about this behaviour and it ruined her night - or - maybe she assumed the person was doing their best?

Second - is the reminder to try not to “should of/could of” At times i can be disappointed in myself for doing the “should of”....but i will also remind myself that is a gentle reminder that i too, am doing my best. I can try again....

Great discussions by all.
Thank you. Kim

dster2400
18 Posts
Lacey_Moderator‍ I can see that applying to situations of circumstances at particular times. I certainly it's a positive way of thinking. Always hope for the best outcome.
chrys21
80 Posts
Lacey_Moderator
i think it’s true for me. Even though I try to be understanding and tell myself people may have their own things going on, or are doing the best they can, it doesn’t always mean I am left feeling okay. I can still feel hurt or disappointed.
Bluewater
2 Posts
When there is neglect and abuse on the part of a caregiver and you make suggestions because you are hurt, the empathy and compassion should propel you to improve the behaviour...not "I did my best" full of denial and resentment especially if they claim to be a Christian. A cancer patient ..metastatic in my case, is not being critical, they are dealing with reality and need emotional and physical support. "I did my best" is false if the person chooses not to learn and improve.
Clari
19 Posts

It’s a good reminder not to make assumptions about people’s motivations, and also that there are things going on in people’s lives that are affecting them which we may not know about. However, I do think some people, for whatever reason, are not necessarily doing their best. I’m working on learning to be more assertive about what I want or need, so I can ask for something. I try not to assume the person is being deliberately unhelpful, but they may not have a clear understanding of what I'm looking for.

I also make it a point to thank people who obviously are making an effort. Particularly since my diagnosis, I’m very appreciative of the moments of helpfulness and kindness from a friend, family member, orderly, nurse, scheduler, doctor, etc.

Susan57*
10 Posts
Agree
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