Posted by Wendy Tea on Mar 22, 2020 11:47 pm
Posted by Cynthia Mac on Mar 23, 2020 9:02 am
If home delivery of groceries is what that will take, and if I can afford it, that’s what I will do. If I’m comfortable that the stores are cleaning things like carts and conveyor belts well enough, I will venture to the store. Wendy Tea Gave you some good pointers for that, and I would wear gloves, just to add that extra barrier.
I’m a caregiver, so I’m more concerned about transmitting the disease to my “patient,” whereas you are (rightfully) more concerned about yourself.
Posted by Lianne_Moderator on Mar 23, 2020 3:06 pm
I know many grocery stores around me are offering curbside pickup or delivery for either no fee or very reduced fee.
I hope this might be an option for you in order to have at least this stressor be manageable .
Posted by Lillee on Mar 25, 2020 9:27 am
- If you have an appointment then you will need to enter at a designated door. NOT Emergency where the virus patients are directed. So in this case you need to go to the main entrance for the Cancer Clinic. You will be directed to the correct door if you arrive at the wrong door. You will not be allowed to go in the wrong door. They were turning people away from where I went for the CT scan and telling them to go to a different door.
- You will need to be screened before they let you into the hospital.
- You are to go directly to where your appointment is and stay there. No wandering he hospital. There may be a designated washroom but I am not sure about that. I left the hospital after my CT scan last Friday and they would not let me in to use a washroom. ASK before you are out the door or preferably where your appointment was.
- Expect that anything you touch or sit on will be wiped down shortly after you leave - including the chairs you sit on. But still be cautious about what you touch.
- Wash those hands. Sanitize them do what ever it takes to remain safe.
- If you want to wear a mask then wear it. It might feel foolish at first but I suspect you will even forget it is there.
Posted by ElleM on Apr 3, 2020 1:34 pm
Posted by Brighty on Apr 3, 2020 3:01 pm
Posted by lacinwpg on Apr 4, 2020 1:32 am
Posted by Cynthia Mac on Apr 4, 2020 9:27 am
Elle, I want to tag WestCoastSailor Into this conversation. He is living with stage 4 lung cancer (as is my Dad), and we talk about how to talk about “all this.”
One suggestion that might help you for appointments would be to have them take their cell phone, and ask the doctor if they can phone you and have the appointment on speaker phone. That way, you can still be that “second set of ears” in the room, in a virtual manner. If you’re keeping a health journal (as I am for my Dad), you can take notes remotely.
lac, the virus is preventing you from travelling to your sister, but is there anything that can be done in the way of contacting her? Is she able to video call or e-mail? Sadly, even without this virus, you wouldn’t have been able to be in both places at once. Perhaps it would help you to write your goodbyes to your sister in a letter. Sometimes, writing out our feelings gives us the release we need.
We have adjusted Dad’s routine - he used to come to my place, and I would take him to his bloodwork appointment then wait the 2 hours to see his oncologist. Now, the oncologist doesn’t see him - Dad just goes to get his blood taken, then goes home and gets a call whether his chemo goes ahead. On chemo days, one of us drives out and brings him to his appointment (my sister did this while I was away and self-quarantining), drops him off at the hospital, and waits for him. Usually we get groceries for him while we are waiting.
I encourage you to look for creative ways to support your loved ones: packing snacks for his treatments, writing notes and putting them in with “grocery drops.” I’m so grateful that we have the technology to be able to reach out in ways we couldn’t even 20 years ago.
Brighty Also touched on the topic of self care. Be kind to yourself, and know that you’re doing the best you can. Find ways to “zone out” for a few minutes or hours once in a while - watch a favourite movie, pick up your knitting again if it’s been a while, or even take up meditation - just something that will give you an “island” from your stressors.
Posted by WestCoastSailor on Apr 4, 2020 2:00 pm
Why do I get all the tough questions? I'm running out of words these days but i suspect that once I start typing the usual verbal diarrhea will kick in.
Why can't we have an interesting discussion like how to have sex while maintaining physical distancing or something? Seriously I was at a hospice annual meeting about a year ago when the social worker brought it up. You could hear the gasps in the room when she talked about how she arranged a tryst for one of her patients. And I thought "Awesome."
Some of what we need to do is practical. Washing hands, not touching face, physical distance. But I think where the real challenges lie are in the mental and emotional arena. As cancer patients we already have a leg up. We have developed resilience muscles. In some of the circles that I move people are looking to me for answers on how to cope with isolation. Still as caregivers we have the challenge of not being with the ones we love.
I have run into a couple of scenario's where the cell phone is used to connect at least sound but most modern smartphones allow "facetime" or some sort of video chat as well. We haven't done this before and doctors are still figuring out how to develop "webside manner" like they do "bedside manner" They know the importance of support people and are trying to find ways to provide it as best they can. Here is a link to where medical oncologists are at to give you a sense of some of the challenges that they face. (https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1245541661184229376.html) This fellow is pretty advanced from what I've seen and heard but I think we can challenge our medical professionals to these standards as best practices.
Recognize that Patient Privacy rules exist and they have to make sure that they are following them as best they can. That said, my wife couldn't come to any of my appointments so we recorded them all so that she could hear what was being said. She often contributed questions ahead of time for me to ask. I only had one doctor refuse to be recorded and she gave me a recorded summary of our discussion when the exam was over.
Asking what people need is one of the most important tools that we have. Listen to the answer. Be prepared to listen for what isn't being said. Listen to the emotion, the catch of breath, the silence. Acknowledge the difficulty of this situation. And then be creative. Find ways to express your love and your compassion.
My son is dropping off groceries for me tomorrow. And then sometime during the week he is going to head back to Edmonton. He may not come (back for work reasons) and I may not make it through this crisis. I have a huge dilemma. Do I respect his wish to not hug him? He doesn't want the guilt of knowing that he might give me covid-19. Or do I follow my heart and give him that hug knowing that I may never see him again? And knowing some of my nosy neighbours that the hug could cost us $5000 for not following social distancing rules. Yeah it's hard and I don't have the answer.
Posted by reddishdragon on Apr 10, 2020 7:04 pm
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