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its back

its back

Posted by momma bear1963 on Jan 15, 2020 12:01 am

hi everyone. back in septemberi reported that the radiation treatments had shrunk my tumor from a 2.2 to 1.04  whoohoo. unfortunately its been short lived.  in november an mri reveled it had grown to a whoopiny 2.7.  yet another mri decided brain surgery was necessary or i wasnt going to make it because of grapid growth of the tumor...this tumor was determined to be a mstastisis from the lung cancer (non-small cell adenocarceno) i had been diagnosed with in 2017.  so on dec 18th, 2018 i went in and had the tumor removed from my brain.  it was determined to be attached to my motor cortex, causing paralalys to my left side,  i was able to use my left arm but not my leg  so in i went.  i came out without a tumor, no use of my left side and a new diagnosis...the tumor is a gliogloma . ive been given a short amount ito live..we figure 4 months taking into accoount all the previous testing..  i am hooked up to morphine on a steady basis which controls the discomfort.. last year when i found out about my brain tumor and my limited time i made a bucket list and to date ive lived up to most of it...im so glad i did....momma bear 1963

Re: its back

Posted by momma bear1963 on Jan 15, 2020 12:15 am

im angry but i dont know who i should be angry with....uuugggh

Re: its back

Posted by ACH2015 on Jan 15, 2020 5:42 am

momma bear1963‍ 

You can simply be angry at the situation. The range of emotions we go through are sometimes intangible yet very necessary to express and work through. We can't always point to or put our finger on it, but its there right?

Thank you for sharing, and helping me to understand how I feel at times. 

I wish you well.



Re: its back

Posted by Faye on Jan 16, 2020 10:30 am

momma bear1963‍ 

I am so sorry you are faced with yet another not good news diagnosis.
Its okay to be angry and I understand that you may not know what you are angry at ..you are just angry.

I am also glad that you have worked at completing your bucket list. Good for you, that must be very satisfying and also shows your determination at doing life your way.
I think that will help you in the days ahead deal with whatever comes your way


Re: its back

Posted by Kims1961 on Jan 16, 2020 10:40 am

momma bear1963‍  Thank you for sharing and trusting us with this difficult news.  You have helped us but your sharing and posts - so I hope you've added that to your "list".  Making a difference is a powerful accomplishment.

I hope you can surround yourself in peace and love - being angry or sad - is just love within us that we have not had the chance to share.  Anger is a powerful emotion, fitting at the news you have received.  Other powerful emotions are joy, happiness, sadness, - it lets us know that we have lived and we have felt all of these.

Wishing you comfort...Kim
Her2+, ER+ Bilateral mastectomy in 2017, followed by chemo and radiation. Mack and Hannah's mom

Re: its back

Posted by Essjay on Jan 16, 2020 11:00 am

momma bear1963‍ Im so sorry to hear this. Thank you for sharing such a painful update with this community.
I am so glad you got to do your bucket list things - its a good remonder that we all need to live our best life every day because we just never know what's coming.

Wishing you peace and the love of your family and friends.
Essjay xx
Triple Negative Breast Cancer survivor since July 2018

Re: its back

Posted by Carjac87 on Jan 16, 2020 12:18 pm

Momma Bear....I honestly don't know what to say, & that's unusual for me.

This is not at all fair!

Many gentle hugs & loving thoughts ..... Jacquie

Re: its back

Posted by WestCoastSailor on Jan 17, 2020 10:58 am

Gah. You're angry? Me? I'm angry too. What it is it about this month? What is it about this disease? It just doesn't give up.

momma bear1963‍  Thank you for coming and sharing your news. Part of this community is the connection we feel to people facing some of the worst that life has to throw at us. Know that you leave a legacy on this site of honesty and compassion. Know too that we walk with you in this final stage.

My story: http://journey.anguspratt.ca

Re: its back

Posted by Lyne on Jan 18, 2020 8:11 am

momma bear1963‍ , I am so sorry to hear this news.  You have every right to be angry! And you should be allowed to be angry as you are facing the next few months.  My wish for you is that you will be surrounded by love and comfort and that no words will be left unsaid when the time comes for you to leave. 
Thank you for sharing this sad diagnosis and please know that your contributions to this site have been helpful to myself and to many others. 
Gentle hugs and peace for you and your loved ones. ❤

Re: its back

Posted by Rayline on Jan 22, 2020 11:53 pm

Mommabear, I am heart sick for you. Sending you hugs and I am thinking about you.