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Cancer sucks!!

Cancer sucks!!

Posted by Mlfly82 on Jan 4, 2020 5:05 am

And again, my family has been touched by cancer. 

December 23rd, I received a call from my Dad with the words I never wanted to hear...he got a a diagnoses of stage 4 prostate cancer 😭😭😭
Mary Flynn

Re: Cancer sucks!!

Posted by Wendy Tea on Jan 4, 2020 10:52 am

Mlfly82‍  Mary, I am so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis.  Don't lose hope. Treatment today is so advanced.  

Remember medical reports link breast cancer and prostate cancer in families, so we all need to be vigilant. 

Best wishes to you and your dad,

Wendy Tea 
I am a survivor. Wendy Tea

Re: Cancer sucks!!

Posted by Mlfly82 on Jan 4, 2020 12:06 pm

Thank you, Wendy. Not completely filled in completely yet, but will be getting to see him for the 1st time in 4yrs (his brothers funeral) who lost his battle to cancer which started in his esophagus and metastasized quickly..so I think it will be an emotional talk, but an absolute must. I do know that he will need to go to Ottawa for a surgery, which is the part with no dates yet.. 
will update tomorrow just to keep it posted! 

Mary Flynn

Re: Cancer sucks!!

Posted by Dave73 on Jan 5, 2020 7:38 am

I’m sorry to hear about your dads stage 4 diagnosis. Like Wendy Tea‍ said treatments have come a long way.  I would know I’m stage 4 lung cancer now 10 months and still going strong thanks to the advanced drug and health care being provided at hospitals now. Your dad is now going to be given a Team of physicians, from oncologist to radiologist, Stay involved be part of the team. They have social workers at the hospital to help with your needs or question you may have . After my diagnosis my wife spoke to a social worker and it elevated some of her anxiety. Hope everything works out and if you have any questions just ask 
p.s Cancer does SUCK

Re: Cancer sucks!!

Posted by Charles on Jan 5, 2020 4:43 pm

 . . .  I do know that he will need to go to Ottawa for a surgery, which is the part with no dates yet.. 

My sympathy and best wishes to you, and to him.

Two questions:

. . . How old is he ?

. . . How advanced is the cancer ?

I'm asking because, I think, "surgery" is not always a good idea for metastatic PCa.  Some docs want to remove the prostate, to "de-bulk" the tumor.  There is some evidence that's a useful choice, but I don't know if the evidence is very strong.   I had a prostatectomy at age 62, in 2007 -- it's not an easy operation to recover from, and the side-effects (very likely ED, and sometimes long-term urinary incontinence) are serious.

An alternative would be to ignore surgery, and just start ADT.   ADT has its own problems -- but, surgery or not, the docs will probably want him to start it.

So yes, you should be talking with him . . .

.     Charles (without letters after my name, and this is not medical advice)

Re: Cancer sucks!!

Posted by Treepeo on Jan 5, 2020 8:41 pm

Hi Mlfly82‍,

I am so sorry to hear of your father's diagnosis.  Your heart must have just sunk when you heard the news.

I am the 6th of my siblings to have cancer.  Each time I heard about someone I love being diagnosed with cancer, my heart hurt.  I did lose one of my brothers, but the other four survived and are thriving, due to great medical care and also numerous advances in cancer care.  So try to hang in there.  They know so much more today than they did even 5 years ago, so your Dad will be in good hands.  And I just know that you will be a wonderful support for him. 

Please keep us posted.  I am sending you a cyber hug.

Re: Cancer sucks!!

Posted by WestCoastSailor on Jan 6, 2020 1:58 pm

We should probably drag some of the prostate folks into this discussion. WesT‍  Any thoughts on caregiver approaches to advanced prostate cancer?

My story: http://journey.anguspratt.ca

Re: Cancer sucks!!

Posted by WesT on Jan 7, 2020 11:04 am

Mlfly82‍ yes indeed, cancer does suck!  Sorry to hear of your fathers diagnosis.

Thanks WestCoastSailor‍ for tagging me in.  I have no recommendations from the caregivers point (I was the patient) but there are a number of others here that have been caregivers to those with advance cancers.

Your father's health care team should have recommendations for your father's specific case.  Every cancer will potentially have a different treatment path based on the individual's specific needs so they would be the best option for getting details of needs.

A lot of times doctors will get the patient in and out as fast as possible so they can deal with as many patients as possible (have you seen the waiting rooms....), so having specific questions prepared in advance is a good idea.  Some doctors will only offer obvious advice and detailed advice may need to be asked for.

I understand that Prostate Cancer Canada is now part of the Canadian Cancer Society.  You can browse their website to see if there is information that may be helpful for your father....  https://www.prostatecancer.ca/  There are some good resources there, I found the site two years ago while research my prostate cancer.

I wish you and your father the best in this unwanted journey.  Please keep us up to date on his progress and ask any questions so we can try and help or direct you to where you need to go to find answers.