Posted by naturelover on Feb 4, 2018 6:21 pm
Posted by Mellybean on Feb 6, 2018 11:25 pm
I also knew someone who kept their diagnosis a secret, I didn't find out she was sick until she passed. I wish I had been allowed the opportunity to be a better friend to her, so by telling everyone and being open I'm trying to give my friends and family that chance.
Posted by ACH2015 on Feb 7, 2018 9:20 am
I actually don't talk much about my situation anymore with friends and family - given my current circumstances. Some extended family aren't aware of the recurrence and after round one was done, they have been off the radar. I am tired of hitting "replay" and have simply said to many that I am in the midst of more interventions and will fill them in once I know what is going on myself.
I did not expect fighting cancer to become my second career, but it is. So be it.
ACH2015 - Andy.
Posted by WendyC on May 5, 2018 1:15 am
The hardest person to tell was my 18 yr old son, he just clammed up and I handled it very poorly. I was very shocked by his lack of reaction and tried to get him to talk to me when I probably should have given him some time to process it. I think I wanted him to be more mature and know what to say but he had never experienced anything like this with in our family or friends. It wasnt till much later that he told me that he had actually been mad at me that night for telling everyone else before him. So it ended up with me crying and him mad, oops.
I did go through a problem with bottling things up at one point. I still live with my sons father but we are separated and though he's been supportive, it's awkward. I didn't want to ask him for help or burden him with my problems. He took me to most of my appts and brought me drinks and food when I wasn't able to get up and I was feeling so guilty. I was trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm going to die and thinking I'm going to need more care in the future and who will that be from. Then one day I had a melt down and he comforted me, I felt so much better after letting everything out. It's still an awkward situation but we plug along.
in the begining, I found not knowing what to expect very difficult, I very much wanted to talk to people who had been through what I was going through but I was over whelmed by everything that was happening and didnt find the resourses like this site and Wellspring until later. Today I had an opportunity to speak to someone recently diagnosed and starting of treatment, I found it very easy to talk to her about cancer treatments and the emotional toll it takes and I hope that I was able to ease her mind about what's ahead.
Posted by Lianne_adminCCS on May 5, 2018 7:42 pm
I too was very open all through my diagnosis and treatment. I actually did email updatesregularly so that when I did get to visit with people, we could do a 5 minute recap of the email update and then move on with "regular" conversation. It worked well for me and many people thanked me for being so open and honest as some had family members going through cancer who wouldn't talk and they had no idea what they were going through.
I am glad your friend was able to take your call despite the time :)
Posted by Cynthia Mac on May 6, 2018 8:42 am
At a time like yours, it’s important to do what’s right for you. If other people don’t take it well, it’s a “them problem”, not a “you problem.”
Your Mom did what was right for her, and when you found out, you learned something you couldn’t change — the loss of time you might have been able to spend together. IMO, it’s very appropriate that you have the liberty to do what’s right for you, too.
Posted by Karen1962 on Aug 13, 2018 11:02 am
My Sons are better and are just starting to come to terms. My oldest is encouraging. He wants me to do what I need to do to make myself better. He encourages me to keep organized and stay on top of appointments and to keep making plans.... My youngest says he is sorry that this is happening and has offered to do what ever I need him to do for me but told me he is at a loss as how to handle this. I asked him just to keep loving me....
I am afraid that I am over reacting and yet I feel that they should at least be trying to understand. I am not at home whining about how unfair life is. I continue to work 60 hours a week, do all my own housework, laundry& groceries. I have handled many situations in my life alone and I can do this but right now I am just ANGRY!
Posted by princessmaura on Aug 13, 2018 12:11 pm
I am glad that you have cancer connection.ca to express and vent your feelings...I believe that it is therapeutic to talk about your feelings, thoughts, and emotions...
I think that it is wonderful that your sons are responding to your situation in a caring and compassionate way...I was fortunate to have a couple of caring friends and a sister who was willing to help me with my cancer...
please do not fear that you are overreacting to your medical situation...a cancer diagnosis is wrought with multiple emotions and conflicting feelings...I wish you the best in your cancer treatment to come...
Posted by Lianne_adminCCS on Aug 13, 2018 12:49 pm
Thank you for sharing. I have no doubt you are not alone in how your family has responded. It is news none of us can prepare for - whether you are the patient or those around them. I am not making excuses for them. As adults ( excluding your sons as I don't know their ages ) one would hope they had the capacity to handle this a little better. On the flip side we all have those around us that smother us or are over dramatic and that is not always helpful either. It is a delicate balance that I recognize having been both a patient and a caregiver.
Regardless of what is happening around you, your priority right now is to your self and your treatment
There are discussions on here for Skin cancer as well as The emotional roller coaster that you may find helpful.
Do you have friends or coworkers you can lean on and have those conversations with that your immediate family can't?
Posted by Karen1962 on Aug 13, 2018 5:01 pm
Posted by Jimmi on Aug 13, 2018 9:12 pm
I am lucky to have 2 great kids too. A 36 yr old Daughter & a 42 yr old Son. They have been wonderful support for me both physically & emotinally. They lost their Father 13 yrs ago to cancer, he & I were estranged at the time & didn't live in our area but came to visit after his treatments & I did my best to help him & our children with his illness. Feel free to vent most of us do from time to time, take good care of yourself.