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Post treatment and living with Covid-19 Pandemic
JeremyV
2 Posts

Hi there.

Posting here for a family member.

They've recently undergone Rituximab treatments with the last one being this past August.

My brothers wedding is coming up in a month and my family member is terrified of being in a room with ~60-75 people. They will be wearing a mask during all indoor events but are still dealing with significant concerns (rightfully so) about being with so many people indoors.

I'm hoping there might be others here that have been in similar situations and could elaborate on what you did to prepare for such a thing.

While I understand the fear associated with being in such a large group, I also feel as though my family member is dealing with the post-traumatic stress of being diagnosed & undergoing treatment during the pandemic.

Thank you for any assistance or insight you can provide.

12 Replies
Runner Girl
3153 Posts

@JeremyV
My suggestion for your family member would be to ensure they wear an N95 mask, keep hand sanitizer handy and use often, no hugs or close contact with anyone.

Best bet would be for your family member to have a conversation with their oncology team to see if they could offer any suggestions and discuss the state of their immune system.

Jonaleeca
34 Posts

@JeremyV Having attended a wedding of a family member just over a week ago and now recovering from Covid, I would offer this idea. No one wants to miss out on life's events (especially after 2-½ years of a pandemic and cancer treatments). Where there is a will, there is a way. Perhaps the family member only attend the ceremony and skip the dinner and reception. At the ceremony, a mask could be worn by the family member and those that may reside with them as well as during any mingling after the ceremony. At least they were a part of the most special part of the day.

I found I was most anxious during dinner when I had to take my mask off and the dinner music was loud enough that those at our table had to lean in close to speak to one another.

My husband developed symptoms 4 days after the event and I developed them 7 days after. Hindsight is 20/20 and if we could, my husband and I would have done it differently.


BigPopi
86 Posts

Please wear the masks.Gail and wear our N95s every time we go out:-)

Cynthia Mac
4214 Posts
JeremyV‍ - the cause of the fear, whether it is post trauma or a physical risk such as a compromised immune system is not nearly as relevant in this case as the reality of covid.

I agree with everything Jonaleeca‍ said. I, personally do not have a health condition such as your relative’s, and I STILL wear masks where very few people choose to these days. Almost everyone within the groups I’m part of also respect this and mask when we are together.

The media has stopped giving us any information about the virus, but the virus is still among us. I know several people who have now had a second experience with covid and some of those have had a worse time of it on the second pass. I know of an organization in my town who has had enough staff and volunteers test positive in the last month that they’ve reinstated a mask mandate until it “settles down.”

This isn’t over, so my recommendation is that you support your relative and that your relative do whatever they need to protect themselves.
BigPopi
86 Posts

@Cynthia Mac My wife and I, always mask up when we go out. This is far from over, despite what some governments and media suggest!

JeremyV
2 Posts

@Jonaleeca

Thank you very much. I appreciate your time.

It will be mighty hard to miss the reception, as the groom is her son.

It is putting a terrible stress on my family member as well as the bride/groom and I just fear it will result in problems on the day.

At the end of the day I've told my family member that she's got to do what is best for her and that we will be supportive either way.

Thanks again for the advice.

Jonaleeca
34 Posts

@JeremyV

wow…that does put a different spin on this situation. I know this is not a unique situation. I wonder if there are any other members out there who attended the wedding their child and how they managed through the day.

Having your family member talk to their oncologist, as was suggested is also a good start.

Good luck and keep us posted

@JeremyV

I am going to tag @Tizzie 2020 who recently had to navigate similar with their daughter's wedding and maybe can share how it went for them. Thank you Tizzie 2020 if you are comfortable sharing.

Lianne

Tizzie 2020
64 Posts

Hello @JeremyV

This is a difficult situation and I appreciate your care and concern for your family member. As @Lianne_Moderator mentioned, I was facing a similar dilemma when my daughter got married last month. I was very nervous about flying to a different province, participating in some of the pre-wedding events and of course the actual ceremony and reception. Strangely, as fate would have it, my husband and me caught Covid the month before our trip. Thankfully, it was a relatively mild case and I got over it in a little more than a week. In a way, this might have actually helped boost my immune system (as it normally does after contracting the disease). Yet, we still wore our N95 masks while on the plane and other transport. The ceremony was outdoors, so that was a good thing too. The reception and dinner were indoors. Some of my nieces, in a show of solidarity with me, put on matching face masks, while we were indoors and that was sweet. It was troubling though that no one else thought it prudent to wear masks in a full capacity indoor space – although I admit, it was a tad difficult dinning and toasting and making a mother of the bride speech with my mask on. But, I’m glad I took all the precautions I felt were necessary – even if it wasn’t always convenient, and may have been awkward at times.

I wish you and your family all the very best!

@Tizzie 2020

Thank you for answering my tag and sharing your experience with @JeremyV

And how sweet of your nieces to do that for you.

Take care

Lianne

S2020
1401 Posts
@JeremyV

Oh, this sounds like a difficult situation to be in. I am glad other members have posted helpful suggestions, comments and firsthand experiences.

Your family member’s fear and precautions are very appropriate. I exercised every possible precaution and had all the vaccines, and still got COVID earlier this year. HOW, I have no clue. Sometimes, we can say in hindsight that “I should have done this differently or that differently”, but there was not one thing I could have done differently. The only time my masks are off outside are at the chemo clinic when staff check my temperature before infusions. They are still wearing masks and shields so I don’t think I got it from them. Patients are all physically distanced from each other and wear masks, too. I never touch my hands to my face, and I wash my hands excessively.

I lifted the bottom of my double masks quickly today at the chemo clinic during one of the infusions to eat a mouthful because I was sick, but I wanted to be sure that was safe for other patients, too, so I looked around first and asked the nursing staff. The closest patients were approximately 6-8 feet away and wearing masks.

COVID is still very much with us. What has changed is that many people are self-testing so we are not hearing the real numbers because those are not included in the daily totals. Plus, many media updates are reporting only daily hospitalized totals, if reporting them at all. I know many people who have had it. Two died-a husband and wife who did not have cancer-and the other cases ranged from mild to severe. They fully recovered.

I hope your family member can get some helpful suggestions from a medical doctor so she can safely and comfortably attend the service and reception to share this special day with her son and new daughter-in-law.

elle29
1410 Posts

Same concern but worse the groom does not believe in conventional vaccines being offered when marriing my daughter ! Who am I to interfere but every time while we had family gather events over meals like Thanksgiving 2021 in the thick of MBC stage 4 I dis not want to get him . Inside ceremony wedding was changed to being on the dock . If we had been able to book rooms at near by with an ensuite . I was looking forward to being there in the adventure together who could help me if needed bc it was remote . At a rustic Kayak camp lodge . With only one bath and 3 floors high .
Luckily it was changed to an out door park and catered reception on a patio outside with little gorgeous IG,loos , to eat under with natural light, fresh air and making each group like a bubble and distanced being a small wedding party .

It all worked out still having cancer that started 2 yrs ago at the onset of the pandemic scare announcing pple dieing !

All through these 24 months we kept asking with family gatherings where the host my daughter and respectfully asked me if he could go inside . As had to make eaxtra seating with settings outside with a propane fire 🔥. And he is a skinny lad that gets cold easily . But a fine so in law so helpful , began starting with his degrees an Alternative practice !
Still my son inlaw keeps saying he is waiting for a alternative Vax . So it just takes more planning for the host for seating lo actions distancEd .
Just realizing he’s not anti VAxer but wanting something for devout Vegans !

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