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My story
I found this group today. Thank you for being here. I was diagnosed with triple negative cancer a year ago. I had the red devil chemo and stopped after 6 treatments because I found I couldn’t breath. I was told I had damage to the lining of my lungs and 2 blood clots. I spend 2 months in hospital with a face mask and oxygen, then had to strengthen my lungs as surgery was put on hold. A couple of weeks at home and I had to hang onto the backs of chairs or walls when maneuvering. It was then I started falling, my legs couldn’t hold me up any longer. My cancer had spread to the brain. The mass was zapped at Princess Margaret hospital with their gamma knife radiation machine (amazing procedure). If anyone would like a description of this procedure I would be happy to provide details. From Princess Margaret to my local hospital to learn how to walk again. Another frustrating 2 months in the hospital. After the team decided I was strong enough I had my breast, lymph nodes and some that spread to my collarbone area. Recovering from surgery was painless for me and was rather quick. Now it’s time for another MRI and back to Princess Margaret to remove the new spot on my brain. January 2022 I was given a clean bill of health. March came and another MRI done… I meet with my radiation doctor on Friday. I couldn’t wait the ten days for the results…I was weepy and crippled with fear. I called the doctor the doctor early and found out it was clean! Now what do I do? I was told I have a 1% survival rate… How do I find out what will make me happy?
5 Replies
DMT
186 Posts

@TripleNegative Boy, you sure have been through the worst of it! Absolutely amazing what all the new technology can do for us cancer patients. As far as how to find out what will make you happy - I don’t have an answer for that - other then to take it one day at a time. Your stress levels have been through the roof. Give yourself permission to take some time to digest it all and gradually you will find the simple pleasures of life will make you smile again.

@DMT thank you 😀. Allowing myself time to digest my journey is a great idea. It’s nice to have found an understanding group. It is time to smile and enjoy life… I’m looking forward to my garden. I with work on accepting joy.

Whitelilies
2272 Posts

@TripleNegative Hello and welcome from ON!

So glad you joined us -today - no less! Wow !(sorry, for the reason, though….) You have been through so much……and NOW….time to enjoy your garden….breathe out……and find JOY in all things, big, or small…..or within…..

#FindJoy

Celebrate!

Whitelilies

JustJan
1545 Posts

@TripleNegative welcome and wow what a journey you have had. You have so much strength within you. In terms of what makes you happy, that is something you will need to find for yourself. When I was in serious car accident several years ago, I practiced the 100 days of gratitude. Some days were harder than others but I always found something to be grateful for. It doesn’t have to be anything big but write it down in a journal or somewhere. It could be something like “I am grateful I was able to walk from the couch to the kitchen” or “I am grateful for clean sheets on my bed”. I believe this kept me from depression during this time. I found myself eventually living a life of gratitude and I was able to carry this practice throughout my cancer journey.

One of my favourite sayings is “Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day”.

Do allow yourself some grace, gentleness, kindness and patience. We are here to support you.

Cynthia Mac
3876 Posts

TripleNegative‍ , wow, what a journey you’ve had!

You already know that being in the garden makes you happy, so that’s a good start. Until you can get out there, I agree with the others about developing a gratitude practice of some sort, whether it is journaling, or meditation, or it takes some other form. It sounds cliche, but you could “dream big” as they tell us to do on the lottery ads and see what comes up (and no, I don’t recommend you go out and buy tickets.)

There have been several related discussions recently on the site about how to live when you have a diagnosis. I wish I could remember the location of it. If anyone else recalls it, please flag it for me.

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