@TripleNegative Boy, you sure have been through the worst of it! Absolutely amazing what all the new technology can do for us cancer patients. As far as how to find out what will make you happy - I don’t have an answer for that - other then to take it one day at a time. Your stress levels have been through the roof. Give yourself permission to take some time to digest it all and gradually you will find the simple pleasures of life will make you smile again.
@TripleNegative welcome and wow what a journey you have had. You have so much strength within you. In terms of what makes you happy, that is something you will need to find for yourself. When I was in serious car accident several years ago, I practiced the 100 days of gratitude. Some days were harder than others but I always found something to be grateful for. It doesn’t have to be anything big but write it down in a journal or somewhere. It could be something like “I am grateful I was able to walk from the couch to the kitchen” or “I am grateful for clean sheets on my bed”. I believe this kept me from depression during this time. I found myself eventually living a life of gratitude and I was able to carry this practice throughout my cancer journey.
One of my favourite sayings is “Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day”.
Do allow yourself some grace, gentleness, kindness and patience. We are here to support you.
TripleNegative , wow, what a journey you’ve had!
You already know that being in the garden makes you happy, so that’s a good start. Until you can get out there, I agree with the others about developing a gratitude practice of some sort, whether it is journaling, or meditation, or it takes some other form. It sounds cliche, but you could “dream big” as they tell us to do on the lottery ads and see what comes up (and no, I don’t recommend you go out and buy tickets.)
There have been several related discussions recently on the site about how to live when you have a diagnosis. I wish I could remember the location of it. If anyone else recalls it, please flag it for me.