Log in or Register to participate in these discussions

My partner and I were diagnosed with cancer two years apart. We separated four months into my rec...

My partner and I were diagnosed with cancer two years apart. We separated four months into my recovery.

Posted by HermMar on May 24, 2020 4:06 pm

Hi guys... I don’t know where to start but here you go....   Sep 2016 my common law partner was diagnosed with Non Hodgkin  Lymphoma.  I was diagnosed with colon camcer on Nov 2018. 
He decided to separate four months into my recovery.  Up to now I don’t know how it happened.  I have ongoing support from friends, clinical counselor and psychotherapist to deal with my illness and separation.  Knowing he also went through the treatment, his resentment towards me is too much to handle.  Called Children’s Aid and police twice on me.   We are close to signing the separation agreement  but am scared on what the future holds.  I just hope that we both forgive each other for the sake of our kids.  

I have a big God who will help me get through this.  

Thank  you for reading my post. 

Re: My partner and I were diagnosed with cancer two years apart. We separated four months into my recovery.

Posted by Essjay on May 24, 2020 4:23 pm

HermMar‍ 

I am so sorry you are experiencing such stress in your life, just as you are recovering. I am glad that you have counselling and friends to support you. You also have this awesome community.

How are you doing today?
Triple Negative Breast Cancer survivor since July 2018

Re: My partner and I were diagnosed with cancer two years apart. We separated four months into my recovery.

Posted by Kims1961 on May 24, 2020 4:32 pm

HermMar‍ Thank you for sharing your journey.  That is the tricky part of cancer - it can complicate other sectors of our lives.

Essjay‍ said it well.  I'm glad you have support too. 

You mentioned you are scared for what the future holds.  It sounds like you have some key supports that can help with that.  Counsellors are also good at referring people to other social services if needed. Sounds like you are doing a great job of reaching out and accepting help.  Good for you.

I"m not sure how old your children are?  There are also great supports for them too, if needed.

Please keep us posted on how you're doing.  Take care.  Kim

 
Her2+, ER+ Bilateral mastectomy in 2017, followed by chemo and radiation. Mack and Hannah's mom

Re: My partner and I were diagnosed with cancer two years apart. We separated four months into my recovery.

Posted by HermMar on May 24, 2020 6:10 pm

Thank you guys.... It is so hard to accept that this happened to me. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.  My partners mother also with breast and his father with stomach.  
i am scared for my kids.  I used to think about it all the time when I got diagnosed.  With the help of counselling, I learned to deal with the anxiety and remember self care.  If I don’t care of myself, who will take care of my kids who are 18 and 12 yo?.  
it was during separation that I found support through Wellsprings and it was the best decision I made.  I greatly appreciated he support I received where they referred me to their psychotherapist and am
coping much much better.  
 
❤️❤️❤️

Re: My partner and I were diagnosed with cancer two years apart. We separated four months into my recovery.

Posted by supersu on May 25, 2020 9:57 am

WOW!
 HermMar‍ 
what a lot to deal with - happy to hear you have help -- both professional and friends & family - so very important

without getting into the details, i will say i can relate----just know that some people don't have the care & compassion 'genes' to share with anyone; even a spouse.......even a spouse who cared for them in their time of need.  not pretty, but its the way it is!

take care of you & your kids and waste no more energy on that unfortunate soul.

hugs from afar
you got this!

 

Re: My partner and I were diagnosed with cancer two years apart. We separated four months into my recovery.

Posted by HermMar on May 26, 2020 12:39 pm

Yes, I agree.  I learned to move forward and practice self care. I need to take care of me so I can take care of my kids.  
I am moving on and I know it’s for the BEST.  
 
I got the great news from my a Oncologist today saying I am cancer free.  I still cannot believe it.  My CA marker went down from 6 months ago to 0.5. The normal  is below 5.  He said I still have to do the check up every six months and I am ok with that.  

Today is a good day.  

Thank you for reading my post.  
 

Re: My partner and I were diagnosed with cancer two years apart. We separated four months into my recovery.

Posted by Lianne_adminCCS on May 26, 2020 2:58 pm

Congratulations on your most excellent news today HermMar‍ !

Today is my "cancerversary" too. 9 years ago today I heard cancer free. So I celebrate with you. You likely won't forget this date.

Self care is so important - at any time. Glad that you have found a way to make that a priority and that you have so much other support too.

Take care
Lianne