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stopping oncology appointments

stopping oncology appointments

Posted by princessmaura on Jan 22, 2019 9:57 am

I decided to stop all my oncology appointments because my oncologist will not readily allow me to choose to see another oncologist...and I have had problems with her last summer...so, I decided that I can always ask my family doctor for a referral to the cancer agency should my cancer recur...my main objective, now, is to have a calm state of mind and to be at peace...anything or anybody that jeopardizes that peace and tranquil state needs to be removed from my life...I try not be be angry or upset...whatever little time I have left to live, I want to enjoy it and be happy!
 

Re: stopping oncology appointments

Posted by princessmaura on Jan 22, 2019 12:33 pm

I phoned my family doctor's office to relay the message to my doctor that I am having a hard time changing oncologists...my oncologist insists that I see her in order to get a new oncologist but it's too upsetting for me to see her...I need to stay calm and relaxed...I phoned the oncology department and asked to speak to the head of the oncology department and was turned down...so, I guess that means I will not be seeing an oncologist unless my family doctor can do something about it...
it's one day at a time...this is a new day...the first day of my life...one foot forward...here I go....

Re: stopping oncology appointments

Posted by princessmaura on Jan 23, 2019 6:09 am

I feel a calmness and a peace since deciding not to see my oncologist...the bad memories of our interactions last summer circulate in my mind and not having to face her relieves me...it brings home how important it is to have a good patient-doctor rapport...how we need to trust our doctors and be happy with how they are treating us...
the fact that she did not return my phone call last summer weighed heavily on my mind...the need to reach out and communicate my feelings has been so important to me since I started with my healing journey years ago...even before my cancer diagnosis...
rain is pouring down outside...pools of water collecting at the sides of the streets...
one thing to note:  I can always ask my family doctor for a referral back to the cancer agency, should I feel the need...I hope that I will have the option to see a different oncologist...

Re: stopping oncology appointments

Posted by Brighty on Jan 23, 2019 7:21 am

princessmaura‍  I hope you will find a new oncologist.    Someone you feel comfortable  with! !!  I'm glad you are at peace with your decision.     

Re: stopping oncology appointments

Posted by ChristineH on Jan 23, 2019 2:11 pm

princessmaura‍, good for you! I agree that we have to feel like we’re receiving the care we deserve. I’m seeing my oncologist tomorrow and I have to put my foot down on a few things. Thankfully, my family doctor also supports me. 
“Never a horse, always a zebra”

Re: stopping oncology appointments

Posted by princessmaura on Jan 23, 2019 2:56 pm

Brighty‍, no, I won't be getting a new oncologist because I have to see my oncologist about getting a new oncologist and it's too upsetting for me to see her...I can always ask for a referral back to the cancer agency if I need to go there, again...

ChristineH‍, thanks for understanding my feelings...I want to feel as if I am cared about and my oncologist would not return my phone call...that upset me...I am a person of value and she treats me like I'm not important...

Re: stopping oncology appointments

Posted by ChristineH on Jan 23, 2019 3:06 pm

princessmaura‍, this morning, someone told me “oh, your oncologist will want to know if...” and my response? Oh no, he doesn’t care, all he cares is that my white blood cells are good enough to authorize the next chemo. I almost know what you mean...
“Never a horse, always a zebra”

Re: stopping oncology appointments

Posted by princessmaura on Jan 23, 2019 3:13 pm

ChristineH‍, you know, that's exactly what my oncologist is like...she only cares if my cancer comes back so she can administer more chemo to me...she doesn't care about my thoughts, feelings, and emotions...I feel like it's just a job for her...she couldn't even spend 5 minutes to phone me...two other doctors from the cancer agency phoned me back but my oncologist couldn't be bothered to...

Re: stopping oncology appointments

Posted by nancy180 on Jan 24, 2019 12:45 pm

I am so sorry you are having such trouble with your Oncologist . I have had 3 so far. The one I have now is so wonderful!! Much better than the others. 
I have a great family Doctor. So I run most things by her. I try to keep in mind that I only need an Oncologist for expensive tests and to go to bat for me if my case has to be presented again for more surgery etc. 
I try to keep it really simple with Oncology. She is there to expedite my treatment, not to hold my hand. However, I had an Oncologist before who was very nice but he gave me the creeps!! I hated going so I barely talked to him. So by luck he transferred to a different Cancer centre and I got this awesome new one!!! 
Really, I had told my friends I’m not going back to that earlier Oncologist so I certainly know how you feel. It’s hard enough without dealing with someone you don’t like!! 
Are you in a small town? Perhaps there is no other Oncologist?? If there is another one, I can’t see why you can’t change! 
Good luck. I hope someone else here can give you better advise than me. 
😘

Re: stopping oncology appointments

Posted by princessmaura on Jan 25, 2019 6:14 am

nancy180‍, thanks for your support...the problem is that my oncologist will not refer me to see another oncologist unless I see her, first, and I have been getting some very bad emotional reactions to the thought of facing her in person...what she put me through last summer when she refused to return my phone call while I had two other doctors from the cancer agency return my phone calls...
maybe I will be able to face her some other time in the future...but with all my recent vomiting, I don't think I am in good enough shape...I think she should simply refer me to see another oncologist and not insist that I see her in person....
maybe I will have to see my family doctor about this but at this point in time, there is no hurry...
 

Re: stopping oncology appointments

Posted by nancy180 on Jan 25, 2019 4:31 pm

Hi, listen, you need an Oncologist in case you need certain tests. I have a friend who is a nurse and she went to some appts with me. Perhaps you need another person to go with you. I’m shocked that your family Doctor can’t switch you!! Is it possible to change hospitals?? I wish I could offer better advise. But it sounds like this Oncologist needs somebody to stand up to her. So sorry you are going through this! 
Nancy 

Re: stopping oncology appointments

Posted by princessmaura on Jan 26, 2019 10:27 am

nancy180‍, hi...thanks for your support...my oncologist never gave me tests...just an abdominal pat down....and hearing my heart beat and lungs with a stethoscope...I wonder what kind of tests another ovarian cancer oncologist would do?!
I left a message with the receptionist of my family doctor about the difficulties I'm having with my oncologist and I have not heard back from my family doctor...she is new...my old family doctor retired, last summer...
oh, I was seeing my oncologist through the cancer agency, not a hospital...I appreciate your sympathy for me concerning my current oncologist...I wish she could refer me to another ovarian cancer oncologist without having to see her after she refused to return my phone call last summer as if it was not important...my oncologist's receptionist said that I have to see my oncologist if I want to change oncologists...I guess that's possible but I don't see the urgency to do it, now...

Re: stopping oncology appointments

Posted by Lee Ellen on Jan 27, 2019 2:38 pm

princessmaura‍ ,

It sounds as if your primary problem with your current oncologist is that she failed to return a phone call last summer. I'm wondering if it's possible that she never received your message? Or, perhaps she saw that two other doctors had returned your calls, and she didn't think you also needed to speak directly to her?

I don't know your exact situation, but I would be loathe to continue fighting cancer without being under the care of an oncologist. I understand that seeing your current doctor would be difficult for you emotionally. As someone else mentioned, maybe you could take a friend or relative with you to see the doctor, so that you'd have support during the office visit. Maybe it would help to see a therapist.

Best wishes, Lee Ellen

Re: stopping oncology appointments

Posted by princessmaura on Jan 27, 2019 4:43 pm

Lee Ellen‍, my oncologist knew that I wanted to talk to her on the phone but my request was turned down and my oncologist told her receptionist to tell me that she would only phone me if it was about my cancer recurring and me needing to undergo chemotherapy, again...my primary concern is I think that my oncologist is not sensitive to my feelings and needs and that is very important to me...
I understand that you would be loathe to continue fighting cancer without being under the care of an oncologist and I can see why you would feel that way:  cancer is a scary disease to have and is potentially life-threatening...
I would feel comfortable seeing my oncologist about changing oncologists sometime in the future when I feel that I can face her...for now, there is no urgency...if I need to go back to the cancer agency, I can ask my family doctor for a referral...thank you for your concern...

 

Re: stopping oncology appointments

Posted by princessmaura on Jan 29, 2019 4:07 am

chalmj‍, thanks for your feedback...sometimes, I think I should have rejected my cancer treatment, too, but I am in the late stage of cancer and it is metastatic...I like watching youtube videos on health and lifestyle changes, also...and I read lots of books on health, diet, lifestyle changes, etc. There is always room to grow our knowledge on how to take better care of ourselves...as far as the high carb diet you are talking about, I decided to stop buying bread and eat it only occasionally when I am eating away from home...