Posted by Windancer on Aug 22, 2014 9:28 am
During treatment, you were probably so busy just getting through each day that it was hard to imagine that treatment would ever end. Now that it has, how did you adjust?
I was never really sure if there would be a life after cancer, but there was and I am so thankful for it. My treatment was spread over 8 years, between chemo, surgery and Stem Cell transplants I must admit I was a very busy man.
Personally I think it is very important to get your life to some sort of normallacy whatever that may be or what you are able to do. When I say normallacy I mean something you are comfortable with. It doesn't have to be huge or earth shattering just something you enjoy doing or something that you feel comfortable with.
I have to live with some very small handicaps but in the big scheme of things, it is much more positive than the alternative I was given 5 years ago, when I was told I had a week to live. In 3 weeks I lost almost a 100 pounds and was very sick. Today I have gained all the weight back, look a 100% better. As I have said before I'm now like everyone else I would like to loose 20 pounds. You would never suspect I have come this far back, my doctors are very impressed.
In those 5 years I have done several of the things on my so called "bucket list" but have kept in mind my limitations. I use the word limitations loosely because I know that if I don't push myself just a little I will never get stronger. My mantra is below in my signature.
I used to windsurf a lot (in fact that is how my cancer was first discovered) but my balance was affected by my last Stem Cell Transplant so I kayak a lot more now. In 2010 I was fortunate enough to travel to the Johnstone Straight off the east coast of Vancouver Island and spend 6 days kayaking with the numerous Orcas and other wildlife in the area. In late 2013 I spent 11 days in the Mexican Baja paddling, with all the wildlife, the 120 miles from Loreto to La Paz on the east coast of the Baja.
These are just 2 of the many highlights in my life since my cancer diagnosis.
Posted by Nelliennm on Aug 23, 2014 10:48 am
Immediately post treatment I had a different experience. I crashed emotionally. Just crashed. I got scared and felt hopeless. Treatment was over. I had been brave and positive. Now that treatment was done, I begin dealing with all the feelings I had put on hold. Fear, disappointment, sadness and anger. I had a few reoccurance scares that in the end were nothing to worry about. That took another year...then life got better.
Now I do what I want now rather than putting it off. I let myself love more deeply and take more risks. The colors of life seem brighter and more precious. That for me has been Cancer's hidden gift.
Posted by Windancer on Aug 23, 2014 11:20 am
Nelliennm wrote:Thank you so much, I know my life is not typical of everyone's. We are all unique in what we do and can do, so please never compare your self to me or anyone else for that matter. I'm glad that life for you is somewhat back to normal whatever that is and you are dealing with it. We all have our own ways in which we deal with this.
Winddancer you are amazing!
One of the things I really try to stress in my role as a Peer Support person is to make your self happy no matter how you do it, keep positive, never ever give up hope. That is truly the best advice I can give to someone.
Posted by sagitarious vs cancer on Sep 2, 2014 4:54 pm
Posted by Windancer on Sep 2, 2014 5:05 pm
sagitarious wrote:First of all, my heartfelt sympathies (for lack of a better word),
I had 18hr surgery with heated chemo. 1 month hospital stay. 60% return rate. Every 3 monthz I have to have ct scans. If and when its back I will have chemo to shrink it. Possible lifetime of chemo treatment! ! Cant seem to get closure .
Secondly, I can not imagine all this crap and how you must be feeling and all the uncertainty you are experiencing.
Posted by Wanderful on Sep 4, 2014 11:38 pm
Posted by sagitarious vs cancer on Sep 5, 2014 12:22 am
Posted by Tulip on Sep 17, 2014 1:32 am
I learned that the emotional roller coaster and the immense fear and anxiety does go away. I had to force myself into normalizing my life again. As a single person who lived alone, not only physically but emotionally, I was even in a new city and province, so I really way in every way alone. Especially in my own whurl wind harmful that go around like a hamster on a wheel.
I struggled to find full time employment, struggled financially and struggled with loneliness. Counselling through my local cancer centre helped and I eventually found partime work and then I finally I found my dream job. Good pay, good hours, great co-workes, ideal location and job duties that utilize my nursing knowledge, teaching skills, administrative skills and patient interaction.
Best of all, just shy of three years since my surgery, I am16 months into a relationship...I am in a common-law relationship with a man with four teenage children!! My life has changed dramatically and actually has normalized more than ever before!! I am living life!! Not just going through the motions.
Life after cancer changes, matures and it can normalize.... but the fear is always there. The intesity of the fear is easier to accept or maybe just ignore. But its there....like a shadow. Like a freckle you hate, that grey hair you always see or the new wrinkles around the eyes that form as the years go on. You glance in the mirror and see yourself....but wonder who is staring back. Thats how I describe my fear.
Every lump, bump, pain and lab test is scrutinized.
I have gone for 3 colposcopies for abnormal cells.
I just went for a breast biopsy for microcalcifications (I dont have the results in yet) and have a colonoscopy booked for Sept 24. Yehaww!! ( Yeah I know I am fun at parties!)
I dont have that luminous fear of the Big C word anymore like I did when I was being monitored for my lichen planus on my tongue that eventually did become cancer, I knew years before I heard its cancer that I would get it. Now, I just think its all age related crap. Seems as I age, I just may have one of those bodies that produces those pesky wait, watch and see type of abnormal cells, be it on my tongue, my cervix or breast tissue and I am certain elsewhere too....
I still think it will be Alzheimers that will get me. I am so much like my Grandmother and her Mother that way!
So yes that waiting game between tests and results persists and I suppose it always will.
Posted by sweetdreams on Feb 12, 2015 11:55 am
Posted by Wanderful on Mar 30, 2015 9:45 pm
Posted by FrannyVolunteer on Apr 6, 2015 11:22 am
Posted by Bethney on Apr 8, 2015 8:15 am
Posted by aer1983 on Apr 10, 2015 10:06 pm
Posted by wasagabeach on Apr 11, 2015 7:05 am
Posted by nancy180 on Apr 11, 2015 8:05 am
I don't know where you iive, but the hospital I go to has good support services.
If your family does not support your emotional needs, it is urgent that you find
a councillor who you feel totally FREE to express yourself too. Also, even one
or 2 friends who understand can help alot. I myself do not even bother
discussing my cancer or treatment with most of the people I know. Not even
my 2 best friends. I guess it's too much for most people to deal with.
Please consider finding a councillor or cancer support group right away.
Many people here are ready to help. Please write back. You can start a
journal or if that's too much, send private messages. Hope to hear from
you very soon
Hugs and more hugs,
Posted by Lara456 on Apr 11, 2015 4:19 pm
Posted by journeys on Apr 11, 2015 5:17 pm
Posted by Nicole_admin on Apr 13, 2015 9:19 am
You might like to connect with the Cancer Information Service, through this program you can speak with an information specialist who can provide you with these resources in your community.
You mention that you made an appointment with your doctor, is that date coming up soon?
Thinking of you,
Posted by Nicole_admin on Jun 2, 2015 2:24 pm
Posted by Addie on Jun 3, 2015 12:12 pm
Posted by Joyceladouceur on Jul 25, 2015 5:23 pm
Posted by MarnyO on Sep 27, 2015 9:35 am
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