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Anxiety around Covid
20 Posts

I finished my treatments for breast cancer (chemo and radiation) at the end of May. Since then, I have been trying to get back to normal. When I go out, I do wear a mask particularly in stores and in crowded areas outside. I have never felt out of place and truly felt like I didn't care what other people thought. I have not gotten Covid and I hope to avoid it. I have had 4 shots and will be getting the vaccination that is more for Omnicron asap.

Yesterday I went to my nephew's wedding. Both the ceremony and reception were indoors. I found my anxiety was significantly increased because there was a lot of family there who have not seen me in more than a year and they all wanted to hug me. I did hug, but only when I had a mask on. No one else was wearing a mask during any point of the day. I avoided the cocktail area as it was a small room crammed with people - instead I opted to stay outside. During dinner I was at a table in the far corner with the other aunts and uncles so a good distance from the masses. However, I found I got more and more uncomfortable as the evening wore on and spent more time outside which meant I was missing out.

There is another family dinner planned for Monday at a restaurant. We have a separate room which is great. However now I can't help but thinking that I will be surrounded by people who were close to others at the wedding and may have been exposed.

I wonder how others deal with being immunocompromised and trying to not get exposed to covid (or flues, colds, etc).

5 Replies
2536 Posts

@Jonaleeca Hi….wearing a mask is smart! You do what is best for you! Period. (not the world…..not the masses, etc)….I wear my mask when I do my outdoor walks/still…..

It must have felt lovely to attend a family wedding, and you were healthy enough to go…and enjoy……when the “crowd” gets closer to you; it was prudent to head outdoors…..For this upcoming restaurant/dinner…..it is up to you, to attend/or not…..you can perhaps go a touch early…..with mask…enjoy a drink…..and leave before many others arrive……(letting hostess know you are not staying for the dinner beforehand)….perhaps you can stay….ask (in advance) for a smaller table, again, in the “corner area/less people” around…….no need to stay and hang around for dessert…..Do what is best, for your comfort-zone……

Perhaps take the newly married couple out for lunch one day? Keep it simple/few others…..

There are ways to feel included….and safe…….and healthy……..getting vaccine(s) is one way/masking/sanitizing etc…..

Follow your gut!


2437 Posts

Hi @Jonaleeca

Those of us that have become immunocompromised sometimes feel very alone with our concerns. If you are dealing with too much stress about attending functions at this time, perhaps it is best to bow out for now. You have taken the steps to reduce your risks by being vaccinated and have been careful as to what you do and where you go. I always suggest it's best to trust our instincts and do what you believe is right for you. Most people will understand why you choose safety at this time, and as has been suggested, you can always meet up with the family down the road when you are at less risk for contracting covid or other viruses.

Keep well


Cynthia Mac
4127 Posts
Jonaleeca‍ I agree with the others: you do you right now. Wear your mask, protect yourself, go only where you are comfortable.

I am here on the site as a caregiver so I am not in your position of being immunocompromised, but I still do many of the precautionary things you mention in your post. I am not only hearing of people who have had covid, but who are getting it a second time, some with worse symptoms than on their first go-round. To me, they still don’t know enough about the long term effects of this disease - I’m hearing of some people having coughs for weeks after, etc.

You already have some good ideas for participating in more limited ways, and you don’t have to explain anything to anybody. Your story is an example of how society believes our world is “back to normal” to the detriment of those whose world is very much not.
49 Posts

If these are the same people as from the wedding, then I would hope they would understand you not attending. if there are people you didn’t get a chance to speak with, then arrange a call. If not, what more do you have to say?

20 Posts


Thank you to everyone who replied to my question. I would like to provide a brief follow up so that others may feel better about their choices too.

I was right to be anxious and very glad I trusted my instincts. Unfortunately my brother in law unknowingly had covid. He believes he got it from a lady he sat beside on the airplane…she was coughing a lot and he had his mask down to have a drink.

He tested on Monday, the night we were all to go out for dinner, because he had a little cough and wanted to be sure he was ok to be in the same room as me. I am really glad he did…not just for me, but for his wife. She is at home and has Stage 4 breast cancer. My brother in law will continue to self isolate where he is and make sure he is negative before returning home.

Sadly, several members of our family have contracted covid, including my husband. So far I am testing negative. I am so thankful that I did trust my instincts and wear a mask when no one else was. My husband is wishing he had :(

Thank you for listening and responding to my post. I felt better after I wrote it and read your kind replies.

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