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17 Posts

Hi everyone, I started my “cancer lives with me” journey 8 years 2 months and 14days ago today. I’m not counting I googled it, being as positive as possible grasping every little victory no matter how small has kept me going, my first 6 month chemo treatment results were remission for 16 months then relapse. Started a daily oral chemo treatment and remission again, however with the cancer and chemo combination I became severely immune deficient. I then contracted a deadly cryptococcal meningitis brain infection twice, 2 weeks apart (which is normal). Then spent the next 9 months bedridden in the hospital 3 times critical condition, left side stroke and right side deafness from the meningitis treatment. My doctors searched worldwide and couldn’t find any cases of someone with CLL and meningitis in the brain, they had nothing to go on. The infectious disease doctor when I asked said he didn’t know of anyone in my situation who had survived cryptococcal meningitis. So I went home in a wheelchair and in remission as I couldn’t take my daily chemo during the 9 month meningitis battle. It took 14 months of physical therapy to shed the wheelchair and walk again but relapsed another 8 months later and got back on the daily chemo. Ok the whining part of this post is over, I think my positive attitude has brought me along way and I know nobody can stay permanently positive. When I am not being positive I look for or even search for it, it’s like changing my blood type to “B-POSITIVE” try if you’re not LOL. I don’t live with cancer, cancer lives with me. When you’re on the top of the hill (feeling good) don’t look down and when you’re at the bottom of the hill (feeling down) don’t stop looking up. If you think the situation you’re in could be worse then the one you’re actually in must be better, I guess its like appreciating the situation you’re in because it could be worse. You fight to live and you live to fight please be as positive as possible. I would like to see this roller coaster empty it really sucks, it sure would be nice if we could get off!

Best Regards Rick

6 Replies
Runner Girl
2894 Posts

Thank you for sharing your experience and your positivity.

Wishing you all the best going forward.

215 Posts


Thank you for this post. My resting B**** face is a smile and I often get comments about how easy this cancer journey has been on me. Those comments are from people who have no idea. I agree that a positive attitude goes a long way. Thank you for the reminder and the acknowledgment that we can stay with the pain when we need to. I tend to close my eyes on the down parts of the roller coaster and go within. The top of the hill is where I am wide open.
Please keep us posted on your journey. (As an aside-did you come to a decision on contact with your brother)


I didn't see any of that post as “whining”. In fact quite the opposite. I particularly liked this part:

If you think the situation you’re in could be worse then the one you’re actually in must be better,

Thanks for sharing.


1297 Posts


OK! this is a story…WOW WOW WOW.
what a ride you have been on.

thank you so much for sharing--
your post has touched me, and no doubt affected others reading it also.

cheers & hugs from over here

#cancerisarollercoaterride #positivevibes

203 Posts


Wow. You did all that? I don’t know how you went through all that. I would have tapped out at the 9 months bed ridden. 9 days in bed makes me nuts lol. Thank you for your advice. I admire your strength, perseverance and resilience. Its absolutely incredible. I agree with you on positivity as one of the best medicines! It has carried me and I only went through half of what you did. You are the real deal. You should be proud 😃 This is me tipping my hat 🎩 to you!

207 Posts

@H1A2N3 - You are a rockstar! My gosh, you have survived so much…no, not just survived, but thrived!

I, too, look for happiness and when I'm starting to feel down, I use all the tools in my toolbox to feel better. For me, it's good medicine.

I love your quote…I don't live with cancer, cancer lives with me.

All the best,


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