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Dealing with cancer diagnosis, coupled with emergency spine surgery that limits mobility
SnR
2 Posts
Hi there! This is a first post for me. I am looking for a friendly and intellectual place for some sage advice on navigating a new world.

I am a 53 years old recently diagnosed with stomach cancer with mets to bone and liver. Looking for any recommendations about books, podcasts or other sources of info and sage advice about coping, how to move forward with uncertainty, acceptance and hope.
6 Replies
Runner Girl
2799 Posts

@SnR

Welcome, I'm sorry for what brings you here.

Let me introduce you to @WestCoastSailor if it's books and podcasts you're after he is your guy.

ACH2015
2306 Posts

Hi @SnR

I would like to share a good resource from the Canadian Cancer Society. The booklet is full of suggestions and information in coping with a cancer diagnosis and all the facets that come with it. I used this booklet myself to help get through some tough spots. And remember you are not alone in your diagnosis and treatment. Good support and suggestions on this site, so welcome, and seek suggestions and advice as needed. Here is the link:

https://cdn.cancer.ca/-/media/files/cancer-information/resources/publications/coping-when-you-have-cancer/32127-coping-when-you-have-cancer-en.pdf?rev=2756056a0dd54661aeb52cfbc2f2ab9c&hash=81672D85283DE56E7A426C27583C6329

Keep well

ACH2015

@SnR Welcome and congratulations on your first post. It can be intimidating to put any information out there when you don't know how people will respond. Fortunately, there are a lot of warm and friendly people on this site who are willing to help and support you.

It can be quite the shock to receive a cancer diagnosis let alone to have emergency surgery on your spine. I can only imagine that you might feel slightly overwhelmed, but good for you for reaching out.

@Runner Girl and @ACH2015 have pointed you to a few points of reference. I thought I might try to give you some sage advice. This list is my perspective so pick and choose what you think might work for you.

  • There is no wrong way to do cancer. You handle your cancer diagnosis and treatments in whatever way works for you.
  • Find time to do things that are not cancer related.
  • Recognize, accept, and then deal with your emotions as they come. No one has to be positive all the time, but ask for help if you feel nothing but despair and you can't seem to find your way.
  • Choose what you will let upset you. Some people will say things to you that may seem upsetting. Until you have been through cancer, you can't fully appreciate the emotions tied to it. In fact, some cancer patients will be bothered by certain words and others won't be offended at all. When you are physically and emotionally drained, choose how you want to use any energy you have.
  • Take charge. You be the one to determine how much you will deal with at one time. There will be times when you can only deal with minutes and hours and there will be other times when you can only look one day into the future and others where you can handle looking further into the distance.
  • Ask for help when you need it. Listen to your body. Only do as much as you can. It's not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It can be a sign of strength and courage if you have always done everything for yourself.

Okay, I had better stop there or I will overwhelm you.

By the way, if you want to tag anyone to make sure they have seen your comments, type @ and then start typing the username. Type as many letters as you need before a dropdown list appears, where you can select the person's name. When you click on it, the person's name that you were tagging will appear in blue, like the two people I tagged earlier in this post.

cancertakesflight

#advice #cancerdiagnosis

SnR
2 Posts

Loving the support I am receiving. Lots to noodle over and I like to noodle. :D

I enjoyed the list of feelings- no guilt for me - something I can celebrate.

I’m looking at some podcasts too, and learning to cry.

Thank you to everyone who is willingly giving their time here.

SnR aka Mary 😎

@SnR Welcome, & Congratulations on your first post. So glad you are reaching out! I recently read Jayne Pritchard‘s book called “Breast Cancer After the Diagnosis, One Woman’s Story of Overcoming Setbacks”. No matter what type of cancer you are diagnosed with I would recommend it. I think that anyone diagnosed with cancer can relate to so much of Jayne’s journey. I wrote a letter of support that is in the book, because I really feel like there are so many aspects of our cancer journeys that have similarities. Many of us can benefit from knowing that other people have been where we are and seeing how they overcame certain struggles can help us with our own.

@SnR

Dunno that you are going to find intellectual sages here but you will find a community that gets it and interacts as you have already seen.

One of the best tools that I have found for thinking about managing this serious disease and the mental effects is the work of a pair of palliative researchers from Hamilton Ontario. They do a podcast called the “Waiting Room Revolution” where they talk about seven keys to that management of serious disease. Cancer qualifies as serious disease. Unfortunately most of us have the end-of-life definition in our heads for palliative care. The truth is that it is much much more.

I reviewed the podcast over here: https://cancerconnection.ca/discussions/viewtopic/68/69232 and a few others have commented. Full disclosure - I was interviewed for Episode 40 and I maintain a lively correspondence with the researchers.

Angus

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