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Trapped in my own body
Jkraynick
5 Posts
I'm feeling extremely frustrated lately. I never thought the cancer would affect my body this much and limit my mobility. It seems so stupid that some tumors in my abdomen could sap so much from me and make me so weak. I feel trapped in my own body and I need to rely on my family for so much more than I want to. I so desperately just want to get up and clean my house, or get myself food, or walk to the bathroom for goodness sakes.
​​​​​​Just looking to vent I guess.
Thanks for listening.
Jess
4 Replies
Runner Girl
2799 Posts

@Jkraynick

Jess, vent away my dear!

Rest when needed, be active when you can.

This is the time to allow your loved ones to take care of things while you focus on taking care of yourself.

@Jkraynick I totally understand your frustration. We take it for granted that those little things are body does will always be easy to do. I found it hard to lift things for me when I couldn't lift 10 Ibs. It seemed so ridiculous to ask someone to lift something that I had lift so easily many times before.

But, as @Runner Girl said, your body knows what it needs, so you have to rest when you can. I understand that sitting in a room that you think needs cleaning is counterproductive to resting because you are looking at the very thing that irritates you.

If it makes you feel any better, imagine you were taking care of someone in your situation. I'm sure you would be willing to help them. Don't expect anything more from yourself than you would expect from someone else.

Just remember, this is short-term.

cancertakesflight

Sadie12
185 Posts

I remember feeling that way. Also, perhaps, some guilt that everyone else has to help you when you are likely the person that usually is the ‘helper’? I found it didn't help my self-esteem to have to ask for help always, when I was such a strong, independent person. Frustration when my helpers couldn't figure out what needed to be done when I couldn't, without me telling them.

So many emotions you have and it is safe to vent them here. Many of us have been there.

I hear you and can imagine how you feel. Know that no one in your support circle is judging you for asking for help. Give in to accepting help and know that they are helping you with love.

Keep reaching out. Keep venting. This is a safe space.

Sadie

CentralAB
1251 Posts

Jkraynick:
. I so desperately just want to get up and clean my house, or get myself food, or walk to the bathroom for goodness sakes.
​​​​​​Just looking to vent I guess.
Thanks for listening.
Jess

Hello and Welcome @Jkraynick I admire your courage in trusting us with your story, your frustrations. With most of us, when things are out of control, we so desperately at times seek to regain some semblance of control.

When my late wife started having similar issues, loss of control and independance, I took it upon myself to ask her as much as possible to do certain smaller things that i thought she could do herself, or I would just ask her to tell me how she wanted me to do something and then even tho she could do nothing to help, at least she was able to sense some control over things, just because i asked her what she thought, and what she wanted.

Maybe you can come up with ideas that might give you a better sense of control? Are there ways you can think of that might do that for you?

Please come back and let us know how you are doing. We will help as much as we are able to online.

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