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Mental Health
klamb
41 Posts
Hi all,

I have really been having a difficult time accessing help for my mental
health. I’ve reached out to my doctor, psychiatrist, social worker at the cancer center (who said she can’t help me because she’s my husbands social worker?), my EAP program (who literally said I’m too depressed to be helped). Does anyone have any other suggestions? Every time I reach out to someone it seems they close the door in my face. I am really struggling right now.

Thanks,
Kerrie
8 Replies
Brighty
6765 Posts
Hi klamb‍ ...I found my family doctor wonderful for a referal. Mine called me and did the 'mental health questions' test on me and right away referred me to the mental health department at the hospital. Got a social worker immediately. Theres also a site called 'Mind Beacon, someone on this site told me about. You can try emergency...social workers on call 24/7 . That makes no sense someone says you are too depressed to be helped. . The social worker at the cancer center..as far as I know they are supposed to be there for everyone. Patients and caregivers. I'm going to tag Lacey_Moderator‍ who might have some suggestions for you. Also @Trillium is a good person for links and resources.
Runner Girl
1688 Posts
Hi klamb‍ ,

I'm sorry you're struggling so, are you still on the anti-depressant? Are you able to get an appointment with the prescribing doctor, it seems this one is not working for you and you should probably try something else.

I'm wondering why the social worker did not set you up with someone else if she cannot help you because she is assigned to your husband. I never found my EAP program helpful so not surprised that they have dismissed you, let this one go.

Perhaps a call to the cancer help line, toll-free at 1-888-939-3333, would get you some assistance. I believe each province also has mental health crisis lines available. Sorry, I'm in Alberta and don't know what resources are available in Ontario.

Runner Girl
Teddy74
7 Posts
Hi Kerrie,
I am new here... so sorry to hear this.... most cities/communities have a "Family Services" Counselling center for example "Family Service Windsor", "Family Service London", etc. They have social workers that offer so many free sessions. Would your husband's social worker refer you to someone?

My heart goes out to you.
Andrea
Whitelilies
1073 Posts
klamb‍ Hi Kerrie....I am in Ontario......and at the hospital I attended....there was a Psychiatrist, for the Oncology patients/families......wait time for this Dr was not too bad.....she was wonderful. I am hoping there is a Psychiatrist (or perhaps Psychologist) at the hospital for of your husband....
Or, perhaps reach out, at hospital; there should be a Patient navigator....this is a qualified Nurse, whose sole role, is to support patients and their families.....they are a wealth of knowledge and contacts too.
Perhaps Wellspring-Ontario, may have supports in place.....
And; we are here, as well.
Regards
Whitelilies
MCoaster
568 Posts

Hi Kerrie @klamb

My heart goes out to you. You are putting so much energy, emotional and physical, in supporting your husband and yet you are finding it difficult to find the support you need.

One suggestion I can offer is to call the Canadian Cancer Society‘s help line at 1 888 939 3333. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer I spoke with someone who listened kindly and offered both suggestions and a list of resource. They also support families. Your doctor should also give you a referal to, mental health resources. Hope you find the support which you need and deserve and know that we are here for you.

Best wishes to you and your husband.

Hugs.

MCoaster

ps. Love reading about your cats. I have two cats called Tom and Tigger and a black lab called Toby who are amazingly marvellous!

Trillium
1227 Posts
Hello klamb‍ - so sorry you are not able to get the support you need. I have depression and anxiety and for the first year on my antidepressant I had to increase it 2 times. You can call your pharmacist to ask about increasing your dose. My doctor at the time told me I could increase to a certain amount so I did it with 2 smaller doses and did not need the highest dose. If you are on the highest dose and Have been on it awhile then you may need a different drug. Quite often getting a medication that works for you can take a trial of different ones. They all work differently on different people.

The medication was helpful but I added other things to help me more. Talking it out with counsellors was so helpful. The social worker at my son’s cancer clinic referred me to other resources but also would call and check in with me to see if I needed to talk to her as well. I was ok with the other resources so did not need to talk with her too but she kept me on her records so I could if I needed too. I imagine that different clinics have more or less resources than others.

The resources I found helpful were other support groups and of course this one. I had used 3 other support groups and always had two of them along with this one. I can’ t rave enough about the SCALE program through the Ontario Caregiver Organization which had both counsellors and group support after each education webinar. This one was so helpful for me. I have it in the links below. It is all free. The support groups were helpful because you know that once a week you will be supported with whatever you are dealing with. Because my son also has a disability I had a support group for that too because at the time I really needed that.

Link to support groups:
https://cancerconnection.ca/discussions/viewtopic/35/67455

Hope this helps and that you know we are here for you too! You will get through this.

Big hugs for you ❤️

Trillium
Boby1511
454 Posts
klamb
Hi there,
I am sorry you are struggling.
I think EAP indicated they can't help as the services is intended for very short term.
I have EAP with work as well.
I hope you find someone you like soon.
I use my palliative doc for therapy, once a month, she's been great.
I also use my nurse practitioner, he lets me go on about anything, been great.
Have you tried the 800 number? Can't hurt.
I also think there is no shame is getting a little medical help in terms of a prescription.
Wishing you the best.
Kims1961
2091 Posts

@klamb I am so sorry you are running into roadblocks. I also hear in your post though that you are a strong, caring person that you are still trying! Good for you.

You have some great suggestions from the other responders here. I agree with trying your family doctor, and if you tried them, try again. There very well may be some community services available, maybe a social worker attached to your doctor?

Due to COVID, there is now a free mental health service online - your concerns don’t have to be COVID related. It is online - might be worth a try or they may even be able to see what services are in your area?

Please keep us posted. You are not alone. Kim

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