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Let's Discuss...2021

With the flip of a new calendar year we often start thinking about what is important to us for the year ahead.
  • How are you feeling about the year ahead? Does it feel different or the same?
  • Do you make New Years Resolutions or set goals for the year ahead? Or do you prefer to take it day to day?
  • What is your wish for yourself for the year ahead?
37 Replies
85 Posts
Hi Lacey_Moderator‍ .  2021 feels different because we don't know what to expect because of the coronavirus.  My hope is that all Canadians who wish to get the vaccine, will have it by September as Prime Minister Trudeau has said.  As someone with stage 4 cancer, I do not make any New Year's resolutions.  I am grateful to be "stable" right now thanks to the Verzenio I am taking.  I take one day at a time and live and work as I normally would have before cancer.
39 Posts
Hello Moderator: wow 2021 I guess if we were hoping for a quick solution that’s not happening.  I’m not sure what my future holds being newly diagnosed but I am filled with hope!  For myself and everyone. I want everyone to wear the mask whenever possible and necessary, and that is my resolution to work hard to obey the rules for Covid. 
1629 Posts

1. I feel like I’ve been living in a twilight zone since I was diagnosed in 2019. So far 2021 feels much the same but I am filled with hope that with the vaccine, we will be able to get back to a more normal life. Normal may look different but life is always changing and evolving. I feel I am resilient enough to deal with whatever this may look like.
2. I don’t usually make resolutions. If I don’t make them, I can’t break them lol. 
3. My hope for for 2021 is to be able to make up for all the hugs and human contact that I’ve been missing. 
2343 Posts
Lacey_Moderator‍ HI Lacey.....
Ahh yes...a new year......
But, where did 2020  go?

For this New Year......I wish.....the vaccine would be given to all/who wish it....and that it will work/with few-no side effects....
I hope my 2 sons can "tolerate" this needle....it will take a LOT of "coaxing".....I hope the Nurse will be kind and patient.
Resolutions?.....I am now, a day to day person....plans down the road don't always occur....so today and tomorrow are best to think about.
Simply: Good Health !....TO ALL....

17 Posts
Firstly, I stopped making resolutions years ago. Primarily because so often they're made with a kind of dread, based on things about ourselves we want to change.The last one I made was maybe ten years ago, and it was that I would love and accept myself as I am. It's harder than it sounds; as women, we can allow society to make us feel that we don't do enough, aren't young, pretty, thin or good enough.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in the summer of 2019, it seemed to me that the other shoe had dropped. I had been waiting for something big and devastating to happen in my life. I'd always been pretty convinced it would. And so, while I went through treatment, I reflected on my life. I expected the hard times to present themselves first and foremost - hadn't they been most responsible for shaping me? But, as I ruminated, I realized that it was the challenges with positive outcomes that resonated most; overcoming epilepsy, transcending betrayal and heartbreak, moving across the country alone to begin a career, supporting a loved one through addiction, homeschooling my daughter to graduation and seeing her accepted into university. And I realized that I had been lucky in those situations, and in my diagnosis. We caught it early. It hadn't spread. I responded well to treatment. I would heal. It would rain, and then the sun would come out.
I try to look forward without expectation. The old addage "Life is what happens while you're making plans" tends to be a mantra. But I have hope. We will ride out Covid and those who survive will have a greater appreciation for life's simple pleasures; meeting for coffee, hugging a friend, gathering to celebrate. Those of us who have been through a serious illness perhaps understand better than some how fragile and beautiful even just the most basic activities can be. When my daughter hugs me I am overwhelmed with gratitude for it. I would go through anything, suffer anything, just to have that gift.
So, I look forward with hope. Hope for my personal growth, hope for a kinder world, a healthier world. And I try not to fear the future, as many do. As individuals, most of us here have discovered how strong we are, how resilient. Even if the diagnosis is not ideal, we have the ability to embrace the life we are given, right down to the final moment. Perhaps it's because we've been shown our mortality that many of us have come to respect it.
In the grand scheme of things, our lives are brief, usually common, but never boring. Every day is new, and an opportunity. It will not always be easy, but I have long believed that happiness is a choice. And I am choosing to face my life this way, whatever comes.
11 Posts
Hello Lacey!  Feeling very positive and upbeat this year.  COVID is not going away any time soon but knowing what to expect, how to proceed, what I can or can't do makes it much easier, last year was a challenge I would not look forward to repeating.  Vaccines will be distributed, slowly but that's okay too, eventually all of us who want it will have it.  Actually taking the time to make some plans for the year ahead which is always exciting.  The biggest 'comeback' for me will be boating this summer.  Miss being on the water.  We didn't launch our boat in 2020 due to confusion, fear, unknowns, etc., not saying anything everyone else isn't familiar with.  Very much hoping that our children and their partners will have had the vaccine by this summer so that we may (finally) see, in person, and spend some time with them, on the boat would be a bonus.  For myself, I feel strong, feel healthy (go figure! LOL) and trust that the test results ahead will continue to show bloodwork and tumours to be stable.  
Wish everyone a Happy New Year!  Stay safe.
Happy New Year Lacey and to everyone! I am so over the whole Covid thing and it is just getting worse. I have been working since it all started. I don't make new years resolutions because I think you just have to go with the flow sometimes. I am glad they have a vaccine now but who knows when we will be able to get it. I think the new year is filled with hope. We just all need to remember to take one day at a time and appreciate the little things. Take care and stay safe Mistiquewolf.
Hi Lacey,
 You asked so I am answering to the best of my abilities. Right now I live day by day. I want to be healthy, I want to have no pain (my back is killing me - lack of estrogen due to Anastrozole effects), I don't want to have my cancer back = ever!!!, I want to be able to be as active as I was before all this started, trying my best - walking, using machines I have at home in the meantime, I want to have my gym membership utilized, I want to be able to move forward with my relationship, I want to have the freedom to see my family and friends whenever I want, I want to go visit my family overseas, I want all this to just go away and have my life back.
Ok, I vented, Now I am being realistic HAHAHAHA - based on which reality eh? we all need to be patient, we all need to think about being vaccinated because if our immune system is so weak like it is, having this virus is 10 times scarier than having the vaccine. We all need to have faith - a strong faith that is, that the guy upstairs knows what he is doing and even though he put us in this situation, he will also get us out of it on his own time and whether we like it or not - it's not up to us.
253 Posts
Hello Lacey_Moderator‍ ,
I normally do not make New Years resolution.  I try to live my everyday life to the fullest.
Since I have been diagnosed in 2019, I don't know where the time has gone, to be in 2021. 
My hopes for this year are that we will return to somewhat normal or at least to the point when you can hug your loved ones.  Even though, I did take a chance here and there, to get and give a hug to my kids and grandkids, and yes, it was worth it.  I can't wait to be to go to Mexico next winter and meet up with our winter family.  
I am going to be staying positive and believe the thing called c****r is gone and I will be OK.
Best wishes to everyone in 2021.  Stay safe and WE GOT THIS!
2181 Posts
So many of us are on the same page when trying to answer this question. (Common theme: no resolutions made!)
I backtrack to this day (Jan 13, 2020) when we were all blissfully unaware of what was to come in 2020!  And so, like many I am very tempered and cautious with putting any grand wishes or goals out there.
With that said, I'm basing my wishes for this upcoming year on what I want, versus anything I fear.  And 2020 has taught me that my wants are pretty easily (and modestly) filled.
I am loving reading all these thoughtful answers.

As was mentioned above, I used to make resolutions only to beat myself up if I don't succeed. Last year I didn't make any and funny enough, one of the resolutions I have made year in and year out, actually materialized. So I too will take it day by day this year and take what I have learned last year and go forward continuing to appreciate the small things.

716 Posts
Well, my Goodness---in 2021 I am still elated that we are past 2020! One of the most shocking years I have ever experienced.
I no longer make resolutions as I just forget what they were, and I have decided life is not worth feeling guilty. I, too, am aware of each day and try to live it with gratitude and often, if the world is experiencing a new mess, I just pretend I am watching a very bad video.
If mental, and physical health improves ---  for everyone ---, I will enjoy 2021 very much.
2288 Posts
Such great comments from everyone .  It seems that the pandemic has offered us a “change” - how to live more simply, the value of connection and a real hug and that life can change so quickly.  Much like cancer.....hmmm....

So i enter 2021 with hope . No resolutions per se , but rather try to do my part in managing this pandemic.  During cancer treatments, I saw so clearly how hard our hospital staff work, their compassion , the challenges, i can’t imagine how COVID is affecting them and their mental health.

Thanks to all for their thoughtful contributions :)
1170 Posts
Happy New Year

2021---while I was home over the spring/summer of 2020 having DIY Cancer, I was so sheltered from COVID - tho it did impact my experience, I don't think I was really afraid of it.
now that I'm back at work full-time, I am aware of how easily it is spread, and how devastating it can be.  when in my cancer bubble, I felt like THAT was my only worry-now I realize CA isn't the only thing that could take me out.
so for me 2021 IS very different....I am always on guard and never really relax till I get into my own home.

no resolutions for me....I try to be very fluid with my actions/intentions and set new personal goals on the regular

I wish that in 2021 I could eat as much pizza and guzzle as much gin as I wanted and not gain any more weight

I wish that in 2021 EVERY BODY gets themselves vaccinated agains COVID

I wish that in 2021 we all have the support we need to get thru this crazy time, and am thankful for this community to share with!

24 Posts
I don't  feel like it is going to br different than last year.  No, I don't make New Years resolutions.  I wish for the year ahead that I will be able to travel to Burlington, Ontario for a break away.  It probably will be many months from now.  

5 Posts
Hi, OMG 2021... feeling now at the lowest since the beginning of this pandemic nightmare. More uncertainties. At medical level, we are starting to feel somehow abandoned by the doctor in charge of my wife's treatment. She had her surgery and radiotherapy, both successful, but started taking Anastrazole 1mg and her recovery is not happening almost at all. She's suffering insomnia, debilitating weakness, joints pain, she's having a serious hard time, and her doctor doesn't seem to be very available. She will have a conversation on the phone but we also don't know what is the post-treatment follow up plan, where to consult or call to have in -between appointments consultations, etc. It's a very scary and sad feeling of being abandoned at the most vulnerable times of our lives. Is this normal? Is this what we should expect and accept ???

I'm sorry to be such a downer, but as I've said at the beginning, this is the lowest point so far. If any can offer some orientation or guidance it will be immensely appreciated.
Thank you in advance for reading this, and my apologies again for the sad tone of my note.

Be all well, to the best of your possibilities, and all things considered.
2 Posts
Hi Lacey
in September 2020 my cancer returned as
a stage 4 leiomyosarcoma.  It has taken me some time to really accept that I am now a member of the  “palliative “ cancer group
My goal is to appreciate each day and to accept the coming changes with grace 
I believe that God will walk with me until it is time to go to my forever home  The hard part is not being there for all those important life events and leaving my  family and friends behind  Covid restrictions are tough of course especially in light of my prognosis but it will be totally worth it if it protects our loved ones health. There is really nothing more important than that. 
122 Posts
On 01/13/2021, 5:18 pm Sipsi wrote:
I feel very ambivalent.
With a vaccine available, I do hope to receive it myself to lessen chances of contacting it , or have less terrible symptoms if I should get ill with it. I am very cautious still about being freed from the social isolation currently imposed on us.I need to feel confident about the general public’s immunity before I go into unmasked crowds without worrying.
I love the idea of freedom to travel again, but do I feel confident of airports, being on an airplane for extended periods of time, all the landing procedures lining up for immigrations, customs, baggage collection, shuttle busses etc. What will it be like in foreign countries - my experience of Italian airports have been horrendous at the best of times  lol.
‘then there’s the whole hotel and restaurant side of things too.
‘I am happy to cautiously stay local for another year till things are more under control here and in the world at large.
‘I worry about the problems this might raise with my hubby. He can’t wait to get out, but then he hasn’t had cancer nor worries about his general health at all.I hate to spoil his dreams of cruising and travelling the world......

‘We also anticipate ‘selling up’ and down sizing. This again is another thing I am very ambivalent about. It is a good decision. It may not happen. We are both in suspended animation while we wait for any activity  in the market. Our experts tell us we should know the possibilities by the end of Feb. I am feeling very very unsettled about that. I have great relationships with my health care team and don’t want to think about changing doctors, even though I am NED for the moment. I like that they know my history and know me and how I react to different things.
The very thought of packing up, moving, redecorating somewhere else, reaching out to make friends, and all that .... just feels too much. We’re not even sure where we’d move too!

So yes, this New Year feels very different. My resolution is to try and stay calm whatever happens. It is going to be a stressful year which ever way I look at it. For myself I shall focus on my piano and work up some worthy pieces to performance level. I shall be taking one day at a time and keep an eye on how things will work out to my benefit. This will be different since I am usually willing to compromise so I shall have to be very sure of how I will feel living/travelling in a very different scenario.
12 Posts
Hi Everyone! 
Wow, can I relate to CatherineS‍ .  thank you for your heartfelt and honest post!  Actually, Thanks to everyone on here!

I am going into 2021 with hope and optimism.  I’m currently very happy and healthy and I choose to live each day with a smile on my face.
I do not make resolutions just like most of us here. 
The value of a hug is greater than I ever imagined.  That is what I’m missing most during Covid.  I miss my children and their warm snd wonderful hugs.  Facetime just doesn’t fulfill that need for touch.  Thank god for my pets!  They are receiving many more cuddles snd kisses than ever before!  I’ve always walked my dog 3x per day but when I’m out now I breathe the air differently, I appreciate how lucky I am to have a companion, how luck I am to live in such a lovely community, how lucky I am to be Canadian!  How lucky I am to be alive!  
Stay strong, stay healthy and wear your mask. 😊
579 Posts
I have read all the posts in this thread and I can see that everyone has relevant comments based on their particular situation.
For me the last few years I have been surprised when the calendar turns to a new year. I have thought and even felt that this is the night. I prepare myself but wake up the next morning. We are not in control of this.
So 2021 I will continue to live my life like I did in 2020 
One day at a time
It is important to have goals and plans but they are not the focus.
Like everyone I am not happy with the isolation, lack of contact with loved ones, limited mobility etc.
I am a tactile person, a gentle touch, eyes that say I love you or I care for you is worth more than a million words.
I do find that even with masks on, eyes can tell a story about a person.
When I meet a person with a mask on, I look in their eyes and say things that I hope brings a smile and sparkle to their eyes.
I look forward to doing the things that I loved so much in the past.
As I pass through time I try very hard to adjust my expectancy to reality. "Acceptance"  Does not always work.
I admit I have problems with depression but I have accepted this and keep filling my mind with uplifting thoughts.
I hope everyone can find beauty in 2021, one day at a time. All we know for sure is that we have been given the gift of today and it is up to us what we do with it.
Keep the Love flowing and we will continue
44 Posts
I ,like many others in this discussion do not make resolutions. This year in particular I feel the need to take things day by day. You really never know what cancer or covid-19 will bring each day.
I am hoping for positive news on both fronts, time will tell. I have been depressed the past few weeks and haven't been very active in the group. I have been listening to you, but not speaking. I am thankful for everyone in this group and pray for contentment for everyone in 2021👍 Sher49‍ 
1281 Posts
I will start for my wish or 3 , genie 🧞‍♂️ A New Treatment developed then Radiation but offer something that does not kilL  living cells . For myself to be supported,  no longer obstructed NOR given barriers to medical access limitations restricted days of visiting your own physician they are up against here❗️  ......................It was such a great feeling having that spirit with an Oncologist or 2 in the  background .What a difference to be supported and carried  ❗️💪 I wish this for others and 2B supported with cancer health care  , to have this difference , irregardless of incomes and struggling quietly on their own   .

That those with cancer or as patients be given the Covid Vaccine ❗️If they agree .A happy vaccination day for those living with cancer . 

Hugs Love 💕 to those missing Human contact or a pet or loving partner to be alongside them . if not a partner yet , still ,loved  living dealing with cancer . Not be prejudiced . Beautiful Accommodation overnight or days or weeks or months provided when cancer treatments are away 👍 as this has all changed due  to Covid . 

To see and hug due to pandemic measures , Fly to be with my mother . And who is 1500 miles away, who I wish to protect better , have her peer friends with a better phone system , not be so socially isolated but more home relief to continue .Connected to some reading , entertainment have some fun at home,  like exercise support through VON .  Grateful for her friends and better agency help caregiving so I can see her and hug her   . Glad to not tell her I have cancer as her only offspring . 
And especially some type of augmentative equipment for her blindness . Or to accept Wi-fi like the Mini or glasses that verbally read for her be her eyes being windowed . To have a ramp and / or elevator to use her sauna she really wishes . Have fresh food , fruit or treats she likes. 

As I have been blessed with my family keep them close, safe,from Covid one a RN another a child with heat condition worked hard to have enjoy her future 🦦 🌴 

Though I never make New Years, resolutions anymore .  Sure would be nice to have a handy man partner . Yes my plan is with another New Diagnosis , a sad prognosis and a Grateful Treatment Plan to have supports medically , open up here for me better in solutions .The govt Universal Health Care , to curtail,restrictions here 🥀 
Is getting one piece of indoor machinery to use to exercise to overcome side effects of Anti cancer oral medication and anxieties . And Spa pool to continue using more affordable as my break away  . Maybe a wig or hats , as my hair is falling out my hair to thicken ❓
27 Posts
  • I try to think positively (really!!!) about 2021! 2020 was just too difficult - my dad passed recently after a year of cancer war. This disease is terrible.
  • I don't usually make New Year Resolutions. I don't know why. Since dad passed, now my focus moves to helping my mom. So much is happening I just take it one day at a time.
  • I really wish I could move my mom closer to me, I think it would make a difference in managing her needs and managing my own family needs. I wish this COVID thing would end soon, and we all could be free.  @WS33
Cynthia Mac
3929 Posts
  • ws33‍ , I lost my dad last year, and that event set off some sweeping changes in my life. With both my parents gone now, I’ve been trying to deal with his estate and the family dynamic that often comes with it.
  • I don’t make resolutions normally, either, but usually at New Year’s, I sit down and draft out some craft goals and review the previous year’s goals. This year, though, my “sweeping changes” included my craft journals being in storage, so that hasn’t happened yet.
  • The sale of my dad’s home closes the end of this month. I’ve been telling people that my “new year” will begin once that is over, and my schedule is reduced (because of the family dynamic, I’m doing the routine property checks to ensure insurance requirements are met.)
  • Another part of the “sweeping changes” was that I sold my house, and moved to another town. Once my caregiving duties for my dad concluded, I decided there was no need for me to stay were I was, and lot of reasons to move. This brought its own set of challenges.
  • My 2021 may actually not begin until mid-February, when I take ownership of my new place. The challenge with that is the questions: “Have I chosen the right location?” “Will I have good neighbours?” “Where will I put all my STUFF?” 
  • I continue to be grateful, and have to say there’s been so much going on that, apart from the very beginning, I haven’t worried too much about the pandemic. The activities in my world this past 6 months (clearing out first my Dad’s place, then my own) have, for the most part, been solitary activities. And, my hobbies are ones that encourage a person to stay indoors.
2020 taught us all, with great clarity, that we never know what the next year will hold. 2021 is already proving to be just as unpredictable! My wish for everyone is that we strive for (or find, or are given) the tools we need to ride out this year with all the peace and grace and stability we can muster.
17 Posts
Hi Cynthia, I love the quote at the end of your post. How beautifully comforting.
From what you wrote, I sense you have been very solitary, even in caring for your dad. That would have been so stressful. My mom is 86, with several health issues, and so often needs to be checked on and sometimes cared for. Luckily, my whole family is in one big house, so we all have each other for support. During my cancer treatment my daughter and mom were my main caregivers. My brother drove me to most of my appointments because his schedule is flexible, and my husband took care of everything else. I have been incredibly fortunate, but all of this taught me, with profound insight, that we are not meant to soldier through alone. So I hope you have a support system to guide you through your grief. Just someone to talk to - it need not even be about your struggles. Sometimes just laughing at something together is enough to get you through a dark day.
I'm glad you're here. There are many people on this site caring for loved ones, many in a palliative situation. Maybe you can connect with a few.
Good luck with your fresh start. I hope you have wonderful neighbours and make some great friends.
39 Posts
I agree friends, family and support is important. It is surprising how many people genuinely want to help. We need to let them. I find I tend to shut down when I’m in pain either physical or mentally. I haven’t told anyone other than my partner. Feeling fraudulent at best. I just want to have more answers.  Sorry I veered off 2021topic. 
Cynthia Mac
3929 Posts
CatherineS‍ - ah, it appears that I excluded a couple of positives from my post. Yes, I’ve always been quite a solitary person, but I am blessed to have had the support of a very kind man and several very good friends through all of this. I’ve said quite often that if not for them, 2020 could have been a very, very dark place.

Thank you for providing the opportunity for me to add that!
17 Posts
Glad to know that. Support is key.
283 Posts
I will start with 2020 which was not the greatest year for me but not all bad either! Last January I lost a brother in law and in October a brother, both died of lung cancer and in July I received a lung cancer diagnosis! My cancer was removed in September and no treatments needed, so super good news. Got a second surgery 2 weeks later to fix a lung hernia, that one was a tough one but it is behind me now. In November I was told that my low immune white cells problem was after all not caused by my cancer but by lupus. December 30 went for a mammogram for a lump in left breast, still waiting for results and I figure no news is good news! In the end 2020 has taught me how to have more patience and self control because having cancer meant I had to play the waiting game...I don’t think I have to explain the meaning of that statement because I am pretty sure everybody with cancer or caring for someone with cancer knows that game and Covid well all I’ll say is.......can’t wait to put an epitaph on that one!!

I never make New Years resolutions because most people who make them usually do not keep them. I am optimistic and looking forward to 2021 even if last year was closed on a sour note because I got the results of my December scan a few days ago and I am still NED so fantastic way to start a new year. Got an appointment February 16 to find out which form of the 4 different kind of lupus I have and I will deal with that one when I get there. I am blessed with having a fantastic partner and 2 wonderful kids + 2 grandkids. I always have a new projet in my head as soon has I finish one I start another one that’s my way of dealing with confinement and since March I only go out for medical appointments. I exercise a lot I take a break every 2 to 3 hours and go for a walk and also do some standing exercises inside the house. This year I am hoping I will be able to start seeing family and friends again. I am still doing that take it one day at a time thing because I figure that is all any of us have....this day since tomorrow is not here yet or next week...etc so why should I worry about it I would rather enjoy this moment... this day and think about tomorrow when I get there!!  When I think back to a year ago I find myself very lucky because during my whole life I can honestly say that.....that one year is the year where I will have learned the most about myself and what I want everyday for the rest of my life....however long that life will be!! What some people say is true...if you take the time to stop and look there is always a little light shining somewhere in your life!! 

Resilience...today is a brand new day and I will make the most of it!!

I am hopeful for the year ahead.  I saw my Chemo Oncologist today and had my Zoledronic Acid Infusion.  I felt weirdly strange, but yet familiar getting my Zoledronic drip, I only go every six months so I consider myself lucky for getting the worst of the treatments (chemo/radiation) behind me.  I have about 2 years to go and then I am done my hormone therapy - Letrozole/Zoldronic Acid Infusion.  I'm glad COVID wasn't around during my major treatments.  I also learned today that my Chemo Onc is leaving RCH and has a new job with the BC Cancer Society in Vancouver.  I will be seeing a new Doctor in July.  I might have to either go to Surrey Memorial or Burnaby General.  Neither hospital is as close to my home as RCH.  I'm going to miss my Dr. and her great staff.  I'm also hoping my husband and I can get the COVID vaccine soon.  I am optimistic going forward and glad that my health has greatly improved.  
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