Thanks Lillian! We are both well and enjoying some very unseasonably warm weather in NB (20 today!). Radiation and chemo lite starts next Monday. My husband is getter stronger each day and handling the ostomy with a resilience and cheerfulness I am sure I would not have in his position. Still sorting logistics for the 5-week stretch ahead but doing pretty well and very glad there is not yet any snow to deal with on top of everything else. Appreciate the check in!
Thanks for reaching out :)
I am 14 weeks out now and it is still very, very surreal.
My grief has been complicated by so many legal issues I haven't had any peace to truly grieve my partner.
I've accepted his absence but this stage (after the shock and numbness subsided) is so painful. The reality of being alone is awful. I do contract work so I have had many days on my own here. Many days in bed.
I think the 2 months of his demise (in hospital and hospice) really burnt me out. I was going a zillion miles an hour for 4 months and hit a wall.
I still can't wrap my head around my world being flipped over.
I'm not sure if I have to leave my home yet but I am preparing my heart for it.
So many secondary losses :(
I still talk to a counsellor and have used the compassion line from the funeral home so I do reach out when I need to talk.
Clover4 glad to hear back from you! I'm so sorry your world was flipped upside down. I remember the first few weeks after losing Dan .. a lot of that was spent under the covers too. It was a slow process and I could only manage to do one little thing a day. Even if it was just taking a shower . Some days that was all I could accomplish. It's hard too with you having conrtact work and no steady routine. I lost Dan at the end of the school year and had no routine in the summer. My therapist sat with me and made me make myself a daily schedule. Even if it was simple things.. get up.. shower ..get dressed. ..when I had it written down and had something to follow it gave me more motivation. Then it was get up.. shower get dressed...open a window.....then it progressed into get up...shower.. dress...open a window..take short walk. It kept progressing into more small and manageable accomplishments.... and I felt better tbe more I followed it. Would a little schedule work for you? One small goal per day maybe. Or per week maybe. Whatever you can manage. It could be anything. Then 2 goals per week.... and then up it.....and you will start to feel a bit better. Is your coucellor helping a bit? Do you have any hobbies or things you like to do? I know you have the legal stuff to take care of.. but please take time for yourself too ..to enjoy something you love. Heck.... go take out dairy queen!!!!!! Treat yourself! !!!!you deserve it!!!! Oreo blizzard rocks!!!!!or raspberry fudge bliss!!!!keep in touch from time to time.
Help is out there. All you have to do is reach out.