Log in or Register to participate in these discussions

Surgery on Wednesday.

Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Samiam on Jun 15, 2020 12:48 am

3 more sleeps....make that 3 more sleepless nights till surgery. 
I dont think I'm scared or maybe as I get older my fear changed and I dont recognize it anymore. I dont feel the flight or fight response that has always been my reaction to a needle..let alone surgery. 
I've been in isolation in this room since May 12th. I sleep, eat, work and live in here. i occasionally mask up and sneak downstairs to check out the real world when everyone is gone to work.  I think that the  combination of stress from working 7 days a week, the added high preassure of this recent work project, worrying about the cancer and being stuck in this room is getting to me.  I am starting to have anxiety attacks where my heart starts racing and I get aggitated and  nervous. Once I notice it, I try to distract myself by reading news articles or listening to music and so far it helps. 
Today I escaped the room for a pre surgery covid test.
They changed the process in the last 2 weeks. Last time they swabbed one nostril, this time it was both nostril son the same swab...ewww. honestly that's what I wanted to say but I'm sure those poor nurses dont need to hear it again. If its positive.. no surgery for now. So fingers crossed this isolation has kept me safe. (Although hospital visits feel as if they render my self isolation efforts useless)

My surgical list for Wed includes  a temporal bone resection on my right ear along with a parotidectomy and a limited neck dissection. I'll also have a free flap(skin and a vein) from my left wrist and a skin graft from my left thigh to repair the wrist.. If all goes well..I may be able to avoid chemo and or radiation. 
I feel a bit like Alice, as if I fell into a hole and hit my head...and "this" covid cancer world is the result of a nasty concussion.
  I have also taken to referring to this surgery as  my "knight in shinning armor" for rescuing me from this "room" and letting me finally enjoy a good sleep. 
Please forgive the craziness of this post, it is an accurate reflection of my current state of mind! :)
Stay safe everyone ..sending you all virtual hugs in case you need them as much as I do!

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by MCoaster on Jun 15, 2020 2:29 am

Samiam‍  Hi from B C where it is 10.36pm although it feels much later.  

I am always impressed by how quickly we learn the highly technical language and actions associated with what has, and is about to happen to us.   What you have already experienced and are about to experience must be very stressful on so many levels and I thank you for sharing a little of your journey with us.   Being at home with your family very nearby but not being to physically interact with them in a normal way must be almost surreal.   I think I would resort to retreating back to childhood with a large and cuddly bear or blanket suitably sanitized of course.

As is often suggested here mindfulness, nidra yoga and listening to something like Get Sleepy can sometimes help with getting to sleep.   When I retired from being a special education teacher the use of weighted clothing and blankets to calm children, particularly those on the autism spectrum, had just begun thanks in part to Temple Grandin and the blankets seem to be coming mainstream in the general population to soothe and calm.   A poor substitute for a human hug but still a hug.

I will, along with many others here, be holding you in my thoughts on Wednesday.

Healing thoughts and hugs.

Margaret
 

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Wendy Tea on Jun 15, 2020 7:15 pm

Samiam‍  Oh I am so happy your surgery has been rescheduled!  I wish you the very best. Please let us know how you are doing after surgery whenever you are able. I know you are in good hands. Best wishes.
Healing takes time and opportunity. Wendy Tea

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Laika57 on Jun 15, 2020 8:07 pm

Good luck on Wednesday!
and i am impressed with you for taking isolation so seriously.
I tried keeping my husband "safe" during chemo and before his surgery, but he still insisted on walking to the store every day, sometimes twice, and eating on his way home, without even washing his hands.... 
lucky for him, everybody else being careful and respectful kept him from catching anything. However much he may gripe about the restrictions and people wearing masks being silly...
 
Have you hugged your dog today?

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Samiam on Jun 15, 2020 8:08 pm

Thank you and I will do. 
 

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Samiam on Jun 15, 2020 8:49 pm

@Laika57‍, it's been hard, but knowing that I could not have the surgery if I caught covid was really good motivation. And I got my results from yesterday's test..negative. (much faster when surgery is involved)
Thank you for the well wishes Wendy Tea‍, you are beyond amazing at making people feel special. I hope that things are going well for you. 
MCoaster‍ my stress from work dropped off today. Something about knowing tomorrow is your last day for a few weeks can make everything lighter.
I guess by tomorrow I'll know if it was work or health issues causing the anxiety. Might take up yoga after all is said and done. ;)  
My ear has been aching all day today and I'm glad this will soon be over soon so I dont need to wonder what's going on in there. 
If you believe in prayers, positive thoughts, good vibes etc...please feel free to send them to my surgical team /drs on Wednesday as they make decisions about and for me while they work thier magic.
virtual hugs to you all. 

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Kims1961 on Jun 15, 2020 11:15 pm

Samiam‍  I am sending you healing energies and to your medical team!  Thank you for your post and openness around the anxiety.  As a fellow anxiety sufferer , i appreciate your willingness to talk about it.  I'm sure it will help others who read your post.

I wasn't  a yoga fan before cancer - just too slow for me - but i came to realize that was exactly what i needed!  A way to learn to "slow down" and take deep calming breaths.  It seemed to help with anxiety.  Distraction was also helpful.

Please let us know how you are doing after your surgery.  Stay well!  kim
Her2+, ER+ Bilateral mastectomy in 2017, followed by chemo and radiation. Mack and Hannah's mom

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Treepeo on Jun 16, 2020 7:28 am

Hi @Samiam,

It is stressful enough to deal with an upcoming surgery without having to self-isolate on top of everything.  I can totally understand your feelings of anxiety.

I wish you the best of luck with your surgery.  I am sure you will be in excellent hands.  Sending positive vibes your way along with a big, virtual hug.

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by pomlady on Jun 16, 2020 1:24 pm

Wishing you the best of luck tomorrow for your surgery.  Hope all goes smoothly Samiam and this is behind you soon.

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Essjay on Jun 16, 2020 9:00 pm

best wishes for your surgery tomorrow Samiam‍ 
Essjay xx
Triple Negative Breast Cancer survivor since July 2018

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Lianne_adminCCS on Jun 17, 2020 5:44 pm

Samiam‍ 

Thinking of you today and hoping all went well with your surgery today. and that you are resting comfortably..

Give us an update when you are able.

Lianne

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Rayline on Jun 17, 2020 9:00 pm

Samiam‍ Wishing you a good recovery and I hope surgery went well. Sending you a big hug💕

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by MCoaster on Jun 17, 2020 11:56 pm

Samiam‍    Hope that your road to recovery is smooth.  When can you come out of isolation and back to your family who I feel are just waiting for that time?

Many Healing Hugs.

Margaret

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Samiam on Jun 18, 2020 11:08 pm

Doing well. Very little pain considering
typing is hard with one hand boarded and this in with ivs. Moved from ICU to semi room today. Everything looks to be doing well.
thank you for the support appreciate it very much.
Stay safe.

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by MCoaster on Jun 18, 2020 11:50 pm

Samiam
 Your surgery sounds rather complex but  I am so glad that it went well and that you can look forward to being part of your family circle again.  They will be very relieved to have you back and I hope they thoroughly spoil you.    Do you have to isolate before your reunion?

You are a special person as even though you were facing a rare and difficult cancer you reach out to help others here.   

I wish you good healing and recovery and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Virtual healing hugs.

Margaret



 

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Wendy Tea on Jun 19, 2020 12:27 am

Samiam‍  I am so happy to see your post! I trust everything went well and hope you get home soon!

Hugs!
Healing takes time and opportunity. Wendy Tea

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Trillium on Jun 19, 2020 10:46 am

Healing thoughts for you, Samiam‍  and may your recovery go smoothly!

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by pomlady on Jun 19, 2020 12:09 pm

Wonderful news to hear.  Hope your recovery goes smoothly and you are able to go home asap.

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Lacey_adminCCS on Jun 19, 2020 12:15 pm

Samiam‍ 

So good to hear from you.

Sending healing thoughts and gentle hugs,

Lacey

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Samiam on Jul 11, 2020 10:39 pm

This wed will be 4 weeks post surgery. I'm a little surprised at how I'm feeling. 
My face has healed with areas that are still swollen and numb.  As the feeling returns the discomfort increases.  The area behind the ear where the incision was made, has become uncomfortable suddenly..maybe because of the spikey bristles of hair growing back in, lying on it adds preassure,, but up to this point it was the most comfortable position.
The pain isnt unbearable..but I'm frustrated that things havent popped back to normal, and my arm where they took vein and freeflap is still not healed. The splint is very uncomfortable and I  keep thinking that there must be a more comfortable brace option.
I was recommended to do 30-33 rounds of radiation. I go for my set up on Friday. Not sure if Monday will be my start date or not but am prepared for it. Any tips on head radiation?
dont get me wrong, I'm grateful it's over and that they got the spot. Lymph nodes(all 34 removed) were clear and the loss of hearing has not been as bad as I expected, the feeling of wanting scratch an itch in the ear canal that is now closed over is enough to make me borderline crazy at times. But given everything, my medical team has been fantastic and the home nursing team has also been great. my family, as always, have been amazing and supportive, so I've been very fortunate. 
Thanks for all joining me on this is trip. Hope your own trips are going well.

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by MCoaster on Jul 11, 2020 11:34 pm

Hi Samiam‍   Thank you for updating us.

It must be good to have had the surgery and also that your hearing is better than you feared. Obviously though you still have a lot of healing to do and I admire how you are handling everything.  The support of your family must be heart warming and I am sure they are glad to have you back after your period of isolation.  

Have you you spoken to anyone about better arm support.  You certainly need to have as little discomfort as possible especially when you are having radiation.  Has anyone mentioned what affect the removal of the lymph node might have? I had breast cancer surgery and I know that removing nodes can cause problems with lymphedema and swelling.

Good luck with the radiation.

Healing Hugs.

Margaret






 

Re: Surgery on Wednesday.

Posted by Wendy Tea on Jul 12, 2020 12:00 am

Samiam‍  Thanks for the update.  It sounds like everything is proceeding well. As MCoaster‍  says there are likely solutions to some of your issues.  I found letting my team know everything helped to get resolution to some of my issues and side effects. Please stay in touch. 
Healing takes time and opportunity. Wendy Tea