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Who Defines You

Who Defines You

Posted by SpeedyStill on Jun 13, 2020 7:44 pm

Are we what other people say about us or are we defined by what we know to be true.
Do we take other peoples opinion and make an opinion about a person or do we take what we know to be true to make our own  opinion.
Who or what defines you?
How do you define other people?

Re: Who Defines You

Posted by PastaCat on Jun 24, 2020 11:22 am

Oh man, you're asking some deep questions.

What I've learned in my short life is that I have the power to define myself. I pick the labels that I want, not the ones that are handed to me. I learned that peoples opinions are just that, theirs. I've actually journalled about this I think .... It's taken me 32 years to confidently say that I am me and only my opinion of myself truly matters. I can take what my husband or my parents say into advice, but I can choose to ignore or adopt it.

As for defining other people, that's tougher. I think that's something you can only truly do once you know someone and understand how they're trying to present themselves. Their perception of themselves is their reality I think. At least that's how I would want to be seen. Momma always said treat others the way you want to be treated ... I take the same approach to how people want to be seen in the world.

My chosen labels are: Mum, Wife, Daughter, Survivor, Sister, Warrior ... the rest is so much hot air

Re: Who Defines You

Posted by Brighty on Jun 24, 2020 2:02 pm

Hi SpeedyStill‍  it's hard..  I know I'm over sensitive so if someone  says something  negative  about me I'll take it to heart and beat myself up about it until the end of time.     I figure if thry say it , there must be truth to it.  Even if there isn't and it's only their opinion of me.     I should know myself by this time.   And even if the things they say have truth to them.....I have to think so what's wrong with that anyways?  People judge me sometimes because I've never been married . (they don't all know what happened ) not everyone gets engaged and gets to make it to the ulter... not everyones life goes smoothly  like that.....   Some people get cancer!  i want to yell thst to them at the top of my lungs.    but theres still a stigma attached to being single.. the single spinster etc.    What is so wrong with being single?   Personally I think nothing.   It's just their stupid old fashioned opinions  of me.   I have no problem  being single.  I can look after myself  and my affairs perfectly fine.         But when I go to family gatherings and people make comments about it.. even though I know its fine  to be single.. I will take the comments  to heart and cry for days.   People are constantly  trying to fix me up with a man.   Even the week after my fiance passed away   my cousins were calling me to fix me up with someone else.     It made me sick.     It's like they think I'm nothing without someone.        It's hard what you know to be true and seperate  it from others opinions.     I like to form my own opinions  on others.    I'm a supply and work with different  teachers.    People will say so and so is a real....whatever.. don't work with that person.    I end up working with them and find them to be the nicest person  ever.     Maybe that person had a bad experience  but I didn't.       If I listened to the others I would have missed out on meeting and working  with a really nice person.    Anyway  I'm rambling now.  I just noticed  this post so wanted to add my 2 cents     .    
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