Posted by Brighty on Jul 18, 2020 2:22 pm
as well as Cynthia Mac
who was a caregiver to her dad with lung cancer. They will share with you their tips, how they coped and answer any questions. If you need anything else, we do have an information line . 1888 939 3333. Very friendly individuals will answer and talk to you for as long as you need. Thank you for reaching out and welcome.
Posted by WestCoastSailor on Jul 18, 2020 4:06 pm
Old Saskatchewan boy here despite the move to the West Coast twenty years ago.
The docs couldn't do surgery so I have had chemo/radiation and immunotherapy.
I'm currently on a targeted therapy drug taken orally called Afatinib. There is a whole thread over here.https://cancerconnection.ca/discussions/viewtopic/68/60213?post_id=285666#p285666 There are several others. Feel free to post in the thread with your questions. Is your husband experiencing any side effects?
The Canadian Cancer Society had a Peer Match program that allowed people to talk directly to another trained patient to receive support. Unfortunately I believe have had to suspend the program. Here is a link to the support services https://www.cancer.ca/en/support-and-services/support-services/how-we-can-help/?region=on
Another option is to call the Canadian Cancer Society hotline directly. 1-888-939-3333 or email even, since the phone lines are likely crazy busy, That is firstname.lastname@example.org
A final option is to use online chat textbased chat accessible on the any page on the cancer.ca website by clicking the "Need more information" in the bottom right hand corner.
Hope this helps. Let us know how you make out.
Posted by Faye on Jul 18, 2020 9:49 pm
Im sorry your husband is facing another recurrence of lung cancer.
Although I am a recovering lung cancer patient, very different as I was in operable
Can you tell us what chemo drug he is on.
Sounds like you are having trouble negotiating this site so I will tag our admin people who may be able to help you with that
Lacey_adminCCS . Lianne_adminCCS ..can you help
We are here to support you so hopefully you can figure how to respond.
Posted by Missytigger on Jul 19, 2020 12:04 am
i, too, am a recovered lung cancer person. Mine was operable and so far I'm cancer free 6 years.
Posted by Cynthia Mac on Jul 19, 2020 10:32 am
I’m pretty sure WestCoastSailor has some experience with Afatinib, so I’ve “paged” him back into the conversation. My Dad was on a different immunotherapy drug.
I can also empathize with you about him wanting to be independent. I have an uncle who is also 80, and he still wants to pretend he can do more than his capabilities will allow, and my Dad was a titch on the stubborn side, too. Be grateful for the good days, and enjoy those to the fullest.
If you want to tag someone, as I did you and others, type the @symbol right before the name (as I just did, with no space). After a few characters, a list of names should drop down, and you should be able to pick the person’s name from the list. When the name turns blue (and you can’t see the “@“ symbol in front of it), you’ll know they’ll get an e-mail to come back and chat.
Posted by WestCoastSailor on Jul 19, 2020 2:01 pm
Wild seas of tossing, writhing waves,
A wreck half-sinking in the tortuous gloom;
One man clings desperately, while Boreas raves,
And helps to blot the rays of moon and star,
Then comes a sudden flash of light, which gleams on shores afar.
Posted by Lianne_Moderator on Jul 20, 2020 11:52 am
Posted by CentralAB on Jul 23, 2020 10:03 pm
Practicing kindness also has a profound effect our own mental & physiological health, helping us to become happier and compassionate towards others. Being kind to others has been known to help boost our own immune system, slow down aging, elevate our self esteem and improve blood pressure. The epitome of resilience is sometimes as simple as random acts of kindness.
Posted by CentralAB on Jul 25, 2020 12:09 am
Resilience is not being scared of moving in a totally new direction. Taking stock of what you see and hear and feel, and making your own decision on what to do about it.
If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.
- Lao Tzu
Posted by CentralAB on Jul 25, 2020 2:59 pm
A really good picture of resilience can be seen in Alpine Meadows and the many beautiful flowers that bloom therein. They have an extremely small window of time to flourish in due to harsh weather conditions almost year round, yet every year, they seem to "know" just when the best time to bloom is. Quite literally survival of the fittest. I am amazed each year to see how quickly they pop up to make such beautiful carpets in the mountain meadows. There was something attractive in them, to me, as these daisies waved back and forth in the winds. I think this is something like caregivers or cancer patients when they are in the midst of the worst, their best can come out. And that is a beautiful thing. That is resilience.
Posted by CentralAB on Jul 27, 2020 1:56 pm
Some dogs have all the fun!
Posted by Missytigger on Jul 30, 2020 1:30 pm
Posted by MCoaster on Jul 30, 2020 2:41 pm
Your husband sounds like someone who enjoys his gardening and my guess is that he grows good vegetables. I always see a garden as a place of hope and he sounds to be doing well. Do you have a dog to take on your walks?
I sometimes too find navigating the site a bit of a challenge but I know there some amazing people here and I would like to tag our two administrators to see if they have any suggestions. Lacey_adminCCS and. Lianne_adminCCS have helped me to navigate and I am sure will have suggestions to make.
Please keep posting. This post certainly landed in the right place.
Posted by Lacey_Moderator on Jul 30, 2020 3:23 pm
I'd be happy to help with any questions you have just let me know what would be most helpful for you. New platforms take some time to get use to 😊
Have you read our FAQ's?
One tip to get you started is you can manage everything from Dashboard- My home. You can see the most recent activity, have access to your messages, groups, blogs, and subscriptions.
Reach out anytime,
Posted by SpeedyStill on Jul 30, 2020 8:07 pm
I am 72 years old and have had lots of experience with life and Cancer. My Cancer was Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma however we could still communicate.
Cancer and now Covid has changed a lot however we can still find joy in our days.
Posted by Missytigger on Jul 30, 2020 10:51 pm
Posted by Cynthia Mac on Jul 31, 2020 1:33 pm
I operate the site mostly on an iPad/ tablet, but I go on my laptop, too. Occasionally I use my phone, but I like at least a near-to-full-size QWERTY keyboard! In view of that, here are my tips:
- try to stick to one device - it will make it easier to get accustomed to the features you use often.
Once you’ve done that, and if you’re working from a laptop or tablet, you can contact people privately by doing the following:
1. Find the member by doing a search (look for the magnifying glass icon on almost any page of the site)
2. If you’re already in a discussion thread and you want to reach out to that person privately, click on their user name or avatar (the picture above their user name). Either 1 or 2 will bring up the user’s profile.
3. Once you are in the user’s profile, look down the left side of that page (scroll down if you need to) and you should see an option for “send message”
4. Click on that link, and it should bring you up a private message directly to that person.
Lacey_adminCCS , feel free to copy this info over to your tech tips thread if you think it would also be helpful there!
Posted by Missytigger on Aug 9, 2020 4:41 pm
in the meantime, we cope one day at a time. Hope everyone else is finding comfort.
Posted by CentralAB on Sep 25, 2020 3:44 am
However bitter may be the cause of my grief, I want to cultivate a spirit of rest and quietude.
However dark my prospects, Lord, let me cherish a spirit to hope for good.
When my wife got too sick to hope, and to hope for good, I told her that I would do it for her whenever she needed. Those last hours were painful, yet so loving, and when she died in my arms, I knew that WE did something right. Because we did something right, because we were so close, and so connected in every way; I said to myself after she died, "why does that have to stop? Why cant I continue cultivating that Hope with other people. Thats not really "moving on" or "starting over." Its "continuing." Cynthia Mac IMHO, when I do something so right, when it was so tender and loving, HOW does one start that over? How can I just throw that out and "start over?" It must be continued with other people. Instead of me running around thinking I lost something, (which, of course I did; I can turn it around and believe that I also gained something very special that I can help impart to others.
Resilience is an individual's ability to adaptively respond to hardship, stress, and adversity and has been defined as the ability to “bounce back” from negative events without succumbing to despair Individuals who report high levels of resilience typically portray an optimistic outlook, positive emotionality, curiosity, and openness to new experiences. These positive emotions, in turn, typically lead to constructive attitudes and behaviours High resilience helps individuals positively cope with uncertainty, conflict, and failure. The ability to positively cope with adverse events allows resilient individuals to adapt to significant life changes and, consequently, function better as they are able to emerge from a challenge stronger, wiser, and more powerful.
When my belated wife got too sick to hope, and to hope for good, I told her that I would just love her more, thus I would do it for her, whenever she needed. Those last hours were painful, yet so loving, and when she died in my arms, I knew that WE did something right.
Researchers have found that resilience correlates strongly with health and longevity, success, interpersonal satisfaction, and happiness. Hope and resilience are closely aligned constructs, as they both include a tendency towards maintaining an optimistic outlook in the face of adversity. SOURCE
To continue the kind of love and respect we had with other people in my life after she is gone is the highest honour I can think of for her legacy...a calm, subdued dignity, in all my efforts to relieve suffering, and impart hope, and to love again. Continue the good things we started.
YES, it can be very scary to "move on" as many like to coin it; yet in my experience, it does not have to mean "starting over." It can and should mean continuing...Something new. Something good.
“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that; be thankful that you had what time you did with your lost loved one, and try to put together something new in your life that's good.” ― Elizabeth Edwards
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