Posted by Drscrs on Jun 8, 2020 8:28 pm
I am still here. It has been a roller coaster ride for months, and that don't include covid-19. I find myself depressed, most of the time. This goes back to my youth, a problem that has haunted me all my life. I find the older I get, the more the impact. The sexual abuse happened when I was about 4 and half years old and continued till just after my sixteenth birthday. I don't know how to cope with what I have lost. I know, I should be concentrating on my current life. I try, but don't always succeed.
I am in touch with a social worker. We talk every week and hoping soon to be able to meet in person.
Take care, and be safe
Posted by Drscrs on Jun 8, 2020 9:11 pm
Yes, I can get out to get some fresh air. I live on about 3/4 of an acre of land. I try to get out fine days, there is always something that needs to be done. Two hours is my limit. I have problems with my heart. I am waiting for a call to get an angiogram done, and the doctor has me on meds. I do what I can, when I can. It does upset me that I can't do as much as I would like to be able to do, but neither am I as young anymore. Oh well!!
Posted by thecatsmeow on Jun 9, 2020 9:27 am
Yes, it has been a while. I wanted to check in and let you know that I just had my 6 month cancer follow up cancelled due to COVID. This was really hard for me and I did not anticipate how difficult it was to not have it. Normally, every time when my follow up appointment comes up..I have a restless sleep and it comes with mixed emotions. I dread having getting my blood work done (I had Non Hodgins Lymphoma) I was scared of the what if's. Now, I have no idea when it will be rescheduled and ultimately realized that I do rely on the follow ups to know what is happening with my blood. It is for catching cancer early now I have no idea what is happening to my body.
Posted by Birdwoman on Jun 9, 2020 9:36 am
How I learned I have cancer - was diagnosed with uterine cancer in January of 2016 and informed by phone when I was visiting my Dad in his nursing home in Montreal. I live in Ontario. I was in a state of shock. I had a D&C a few weeks earlier and that is where the serous cells were found. When I met with the oncologist I learned that not only did I have cancer (I had been a health nut all my adult life) but an aggressive serous uterine carcinoma stage 3c requiring months of chemo and radiation. My life has never been the same.
It is 3.5 years since I finished treatment and thankfully the nausea is getting less. The fatigue is augmented by arthritis in my back and the neuropathy in my feet is getting worse.
But I walk every day with a cane and am so thankful I had my hip replacement last September or I would be in a wheelchair. Covid makes everything harder and the isolation is hard.
I will be 72 this summer and am very grateful to still be here. But it is like going downhill, you can see the bottom, not like before where I would soar on dreams and kayak for days on the bay, and walk for hours through the woods seeing foxes and bears and birds. I guess that is old age? I am still trying to figure things out! I make the best of things and try to smile, haha, one of my front teeth broke and I have a hole like a pirate. With my wig and my cane maybe I should audition for a role? Let's keep laughing, better than crying! Love and blessing to all the warriors here! We are stronger than we think!
Posted by Brighty on Jun 9, 2020 2:19 pm
Posted by Brighty on Jun 9, 2020 2:24 pm
Posted by Kuching on Jun 10, 2020 7:44 am
Posted by Cynthia Mac on Jun 10, 2020 8:15 am
Dad’s doctor cancelled his mid-May treatment because he expected that the pandemic would be peaking at that point, and he didn’t want to risk Dad having to go to the hospital twice around that time (once for his bloodwork, and then the next day for his chemo). Dad has been responding well to his chemo and immunotherapy and he decided that the risk of him missing one treatment outweighed the risk of exposing him to the virus.
Perhaps, if you are able to view the situation from a similar vantage point, it might help you get through to your next round of tests. Two other thoughts:
- would you consider calling the doctor to see if they can “fast track” your next 6 month check?
- have you tried doing some affirmations/ meditation/ mindfulness practices? I have an e-book by Jon Kabat-Zinn and Dr. Andrew Weil called “Meditation for Optimum Health” and there’s an accompanying 23 minute audio of just the actual meditation in the book that you can get from Audible. Louise Hay is my “go to” for matters concerning the power of positive thinking. Some night time meditations might also help you with your restless sleep. I’ve had a stressful couple weeks, and I’ve been playing a different audio book or app every night (except the two nights I fell asleep on the couch!)
I’ve also got a couple of questions you could ask your doctors in a phone call:
- what risk is there in me missing this round of tests?
- Can you schedule my test as soon as things “open up” enough for me to have them?
I can sure appreciate the nerves you feel around having bloodwork, and it must be awful for you to have “built up your nerve,” then have it get cancelled!
Posted by thecatsmeow on Jun 10, 2020 9:51 am
Thank you for your support during this difficult time. Kuching , you have asked about going to Lifelabs. I think my blood testing/requirements can only be done at the Cancer centre. This is my thought process anyway. I don't know. My oncologist is on maternity leave and another dr was taken over in the meantime. I may pursue speaking with that dr. However, this situation has opened my eyes to deep fear I feel. I am taking this opportunity to uncover these intense emotions so that I can be a peace with anything that goes on in my life. As you know cancer dx has an impact that directly targets our thoughts of our mortality.
Cynthia Mac , thank you for sharing about your dad situation. It is hard for everyone and my heart goes out to him. You have mentioned on Kabat-Zinn, Dr. Andrew Weil and Louise Hay. I am familiar with them and I will check out what you have recommended.
I appreciate the support and at this time, I am not crying as much but my body feels tense. Energy shifted...I think because I had to function (go back to work and get into life again) but the gravity of my emotions are deep and I hope that I will be able to heal and not suppress. Sometimes I wish that I can just throw up emotions physically and then I know it is out of me! LOL....lots of deep breathing and being in this moment is my focus now.
Thank you for being a part of my healing journey.
Posted by Cynthia Mac on Jun 11, 2020 10:45 am
I am not crying as much but my body feels tense
Sometimes I wish that I can just throw up emotions physically and then I know it is out of me!
I’ve never really thought about it quite that way, but YEAH!
Sometimes, when I’m here, I feel a bit like Red Green: “I’m pullin’ for ya, we’re all in this together,” and “Keep your stick on the ice!” Who knew how wise HE is?
Posted by IamJay on Jun 13, 2020 11:54 am
I'm trying to keep things simple for now. Once I'm back to work at the end of the month life will change so trying to enjoy my time atwat home I have it.
All the best to you all
Posted by debd on Jul 7, 2020 1:13 pm
I am frustrated with the whole COVID thing and having to speak with health professionals over the phone as it is difficult to complete a good assessment. Right now i am waiting on the oncologist to call about his breathing and cough since his oxygen keeps plummeting below 85% even while resting. My fear is his pneumonitis has returned and he will have to be on prednisone again which means treatment will stop.
Sometimes life just isn't fair sure hope he cuts a break soon as his quality of life is virtually non existent. We were hoping for a good summer together as a family but he is unable to do even the simple things and enjoy them.
Posted by MCoaster on Jul 7, 2020 1:35 pm
Please look after your self. You are special.
Posted by Lacey_adminCCS on Jul 7, 2020 2:41 pm
Your family certainly deserved to be cut a break. Thanks for stopping in and saying hi. Things must be very busy for you right now.
COVID definitely adds to the already stressful situation that a cancer diagnosis brings. MCoaster makes a great suggestion about having your GP help advocate if you have one to work with?
Do you have help at home? When do you expect to hear from the Oncologist?
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