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Maid

Maid

Posted by Dave73 on May 20, 2020 2:11 pm

Helllo alll my friend I actually figured out how to get my own board. Illl. Start by saying I’m scared and could use some friends to cheer me up
first is this cathater I have to use ct scan says I ha ve kidney stones. I misss you all and wish I had alll of yours courage. I was accepted for maid. Wednesday afternoon is my time. I’m alitttle scared but not as scared as I thought St. Peter is the hospital they use .i want to thank my friend Lacy for her experience if anyone has any experience let me know because I’m scared 

Re: Maid

Posted by Wendy Tea on May 20, 2020 2:46 pm

Dave73‍  Hello my friend.  We all wish we could carry your load, take away your fear and pain. We all wish we could comfort you and your family. Please know you are loved, respected,  and will forever be in our hearts.
Healing takes time and opportunity. Wendy Tea

Re: Maid

Posted by Brighty on May 20, 2020 2:55 pm

I have no words Dave73‍ .   I wish I could take  your pain away from you.    Like Wendy Tea‍  said you are very much loved and respected  by everyone  on the site.     You will always remain  in our hearts.   I wish you strength  and courage and lots of love.        
Help is out there. All you have to do is reach out.

Re: Maid

Posted by Runner Girl on May 20, 2020 5:04 pm

Dave73‍ ,

My dear friend, know that you have my full support in your decision.  As Wendy Tea‍ said so beautifully, we'd all like to lighten your load if we could.  I hope that next Wednesday finds you and your family at peace, I will keep all of you in my prayers.

Runner Girl
Never stop believing in HOPE because MIRACLES happen every day!

Re: Maid

Posted by Lacey_adminCCS on May 20, 2020 5:38 pm

Dave73‍ 

It's good to hear from you. I'm glad you posted an update for the community and your friends here to get support.Thank you for trusting us to share that you have chosen to have Medically Assisted Dying next week. This is such a difficult situation. I have always admired your strength, love for your family, and friendship Dave.

Facing death can bring up emotions like fear, sadness, and grief. I have read that part of coming to terms with death is grieving that your life journey is coming to an end. I think we feel very anxious and fearful about death, because we don’t know what it feels like or what will happen.Talking about death is hard. Not talking about it does not change the fact that we all experience it. Talking about death with your family and healthcare team can help take away some of the fear or anxiety that you and your loved ones may be feeling.

Here is some info I thought you might find helpful:
Facing End of Life
Decisions

Have you and your family talked about the details? What are your wishes for that day? You may want your physical surroundings to look, sound and smell a certain way (for example, with music, pictures or flowers) and want certain spiritual rituals or practices to take place.

Sending hugs and support to you.
Lacey




 

Re: Maid

Posted by Missk on May 20, 2020 6:21 pm

Dave73‍ I am sending good vibes your way.  You are courageous, and now is the time for nothing but love.  We are all here for you!
Karen
​​​​​

Re: Maid

Posted by Lianne_adminCCS on May 20, 2020 6:32 pm

Dave73‍ 

Thank you for bringing us into your world as it pertains to this very difficult decision you have made. You mentioned that you wished you had other's courage but you have shown courage in so many ways with us since you first arrived on the site. I hope you can see what we see.
I wish you peace and comfort in the coming days, surrounded by the love of your family.

Hugs
Lianne
 

Re: Maid

Posted by Kims1961 on May 20, 2020 7:15 pm

Dave73‍ My friend,  i hope you feel the support from all of us.  Embracing you virtually.

I hope you also know, how courageous and strong you are - even if you don't feel it at times.  Sharing your story is hard - asking for support can be harder.  You have left a legacy here with us and to many others who will read your posts.

You have shown us that talking and even planning our own death is not easy.  We will all die someday. Those touched by cancer, get a glimpse of our mortality.  It's ok , when we may each say - that's enough.  When we know that life can be prolonged by why suffer or have our loved ones suffer.  It is possible to leave this world surrounded by love - to know you loved and were loved.

Please use this forum as you need it.  I am so glad you posted.  Your friend, Kim
Her2+, ER+ Bilateral mastectomy in 2017, followed by chemo and radiation. Mack and Hannah's mom

Re: Maid

Posted by Essjay on May 21, 2020 7:50 am

Dave73‍ good to hear from you my friend. I’m sure the next week will at times feel long and at others be rushing by. Please know that we are walking by your side the whole way.

You are an inspiration to all of us, and I am sure sharing what you are going through will help someone.

Can you feel my virtual hug Xx
Triple Negative Breast Cancer survivor since July 2018

Re: Maid

Posted by cancertakesflight on May 21, 2020 8:21 am

Dave73‍ i apologize for being a little slow in responding to you news. I missed it buried in the Check in but im so glad to have this opportunity to talk to you. I am so grateful that i got to hug you before we left Kingsbridge. You decided to leave a little early and i was fortunate to be in the right place at the right time. 

I can't imagine being in your shoes and, as others have said, making your decision takes a lot of courage. Even in Kingsbridge I could feel the love that you have for your family.

Im sure part of your concern is also for your family. I dont know if you have been following the posts from Vox‍ but she has gone through Maid from the caregiver's side and she has shared her journey so beautifully. You and your wife might feel some comfort from those posts.

You are most definetly in our thoughts. I only wish i could do more to support you. Please keep us posted so that we can be with you every step of the way. 

Luckily i can send you a virtual hug even though it's not quite the same as a real one. I'm honoured to have had both.

Debbie

 
Laughter is a lifestyle choice. www.laughterandcancer.com/blog

Re: Maid

Posted by Cynthia Mac on May 21, 2020 10:05 am

Dave73‍ , thank you so much for updating us. You’ve been on my mind for a while now.

Knowing you has been an honour, and here you are, honouring us again.

Thanks for giving us this opportunity to breathe a little wind under your wings. I wish you and your whole family peace as you enter into this transition.

Love and light to you.
“When the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.” - Japanese saying

Re: Maid

Posted by Whitelilies on May 21, 2020 10:51 am

Dave73‍ Hello
Please allow me to send you LOVE.

Whitelilies

Lillian

Re: Maid

Posted by WestCoastSailor on May 21, 2020 11:59 am

Dave73‍ 

I remember the joy I felt at finding a fellow traveler on this lung cancer road when you first started posting. Then the awful dawning realization of how different our journeys are. My tears flow at the tragedy of your young vibrant life cut short by this awful disease. I can't imagine the anguish at making this decision.

e2c4719ba3ff3afd261c63f77db3bba2-huge-mt

Painted but only mailed this morning so I wanted to make sure you had the opportunity to see it. When I painted it I was thinking of the towering strength that you have displayed. Mysterious so shrouded in fog.

Peace and serenity on the final leg of this journey.

Angus
 
My story: http://journey.anguspratt.ca

Re: Maid

Posted by Kims1961 on May 21, 2020 12:48 pm

Dave73‍ and WestCoastSailor‍ 

Dave and Angus - This watercolour is so powerful.  Dave - i hope you feel the strength we see in you - like the towering mountain - it marks it's presence on this earth, in a quiet way.

I also see 4 prominent trees - like your family Dave.  Awed by the strength of the mountain.  The other trees surrounding the mountain and the family - are the community of family, friends, colleagues, neighbours - who share in this experience and yearn to let you know that we are grateful for the time together.

Beautiful.
Her2+, ER+ Bilateral mastectomy in 2017, followed by chemo and radiation. Mack and Hannah's mom

Re: Maid

Posted by Faye on May 21, 2020 7:09 pm

Dave73‍ 
 
So glad you got to figure out how to do this post, as from our PM I know you wanted to share this with others on the forum.

You know that I have travelled this with you as a fellow lung cancer patient and thereby am able to understand and honour you in your decisions. So very proud of you for how you have bravely faced your diagnosis including the harder part of treatment and now for making decisions that could not have been an easy decision for you or your family.

You have helped and will continue to help those that come to the forum and read your posts of how you have courageously  shared your journey.
I want you to know you are leaving a legacy of courage , empathy and love to your family that they will cherish.

I will hold you and your family in my heart as you enter this phase
I wish you strength and to be surrounded by the peace and love of your family.
 

Re: Maid

Posted by ashcon on May 21, 2020 7:34 pm

Dave73‍ 
You can count on lots of support and caring from us here.  It's a given! 
And I'm glad you figured out how to create your own board, or thread, here.  I'm hoping that others with experience with MAID come here and share some kindnesses and caring with you.
I've thought at times that those of us who have been dealt the cancer card have a leg-up on those taken from this life suddenly.  We have time to digest the reality of our own mortality.  Time to discover, or re-discover, joys in the smallest things. Time to understand, even alter and improve the love and connection we share with those closest to us. And to find peace with what we know is inevitable for all of us.

In the book, Tuesdays With Morrie, there is a bit where Morrie talks about the sensation of being open and accepting to what is happening. Being at peace.  He says, "That's what we're all looking for. A certain peace with the idea of dying. If we know, in the end, that we can ultimately have that peace with dying then we can finally do the really hard thing - that is, make peace with living."
He goes on to say, "The fact that we make such a big hullabaloo over death is because we don't see ourselves as part of nature. We think because we're human we're something above nature.  We're not, but here's something we have that plants and other animals don't. As long as we can love each other and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there.. You live on in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here."
Dave, I can't pretend to know the fear that you and your family are feeling, but something tells me that you and yours will make and find the necessary peace in the coming days.

Metta, 
Ann
---- "Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced." ----

Re: Maid

Posted by Dave73 on May 21, 2020 8:31 pm

I appreciate you alll taking time thinking but me and my maid procedure. It’s at St. Peter they have a room alll done up. They give me small amount of anticeptic my family kids allowed up to 5 people (fucking covid) can come in say our last good bys they leave then they give me 10x anticeptic and that willl stop 
y heart i will
I be gone
thanka again for the kind words

Re: Maid

Posted by Kims1961 on May 21, 2020 9:39 pm

Dave73‍ Thank you for your update.  I can't imagine how surreal it must be to compose these thoughts together.  You and your family are being embraced by so many.  I suppose having these details can also help your family - to have others be there for them, after they have had a chance to be with you.

Thank you for trusting us with these details. My hope might be that someday your wife, may want to read some of the posts you have made, that have made a difference and helped so many others.

Your friend, Kim

 
Her2+, ER+ Bilateral mastectomy in 2017, followed by chemo and radiation. Mack and Hannah's mom

Re: Maid

Posted by Rayline on May 22, 2020 3:40 am

Dave73‍, Hi Dave, over the past few months I have read your posts and felt a bond with you as I also was diagnosed with lung cancer. I am lost for words but please know my heart and prayers are with you. Thank you for travelling a little with me on this journey. 86e9da63788e7a4588a86c74024eb9a1-huge-04

Re: Maid

Posted by ACH2015 on May 22, 2020 4:45 pm

Dave,

I was told of your decision to seek MAiD. I am truly sorry your situation has lead to having to make this decision.

I want to wish you and your family continued strength and peace as you move toward this final path.

Keep well in Mind and Spirit Dave.Please now that you and your family are in my thoughts.

ACH2015 - Andy.

Re: Maid

Posted by Samiam on May 25, 2020 9:21 pm

I'm never sure of the right words to say, but I wanted to wish you and your family love, peace and strength. 
I cant imagine a harder decision to make.  I admire your bravery, you took control of what you could when so much was out of your hands. 
My thoughts and prayers are with you, go in peace.
Sandy
 

Re: Maid

Posted by Elsie13 on May 26, 2020 10:52 am

Thinking of you, Dave73‍ , and of the people who will be with you in the hospital room.  It's so tragic that you are in this situation where you need MAID. 

The painting that WestCoastSailor‍  has created, the jagged mountain top looks like a wolf raising it's head. I think you are the wolf. 
In 2016: diagnosed with stage 2 ovarian cancer. Treatment: hysterectomy, chemo, radiation. Afterwards: No Evidence of Disease!

Re: Maid

Posted by Samiam on May 27, 2020 1:15 pm

You are on my mind today. My heart is with you your family and friends.
Sandy
💔

Re: Maid

Posted by Miche on Jul 1, 2020 10:40 am

Dave73‍ i awoke early because I was thinking of you; a stranger to me, but yet, another soul who will eventually be following in your footsteps with MAID. Please know that I represent all of us in this community who be your silent , cloud of witnesses in your room today. You will not be alone. We offer you our strength, love, and courage that will follow your on the next phase of your journey. Because that is what this life is: a journey of spiritual growth, done both alone and in the presence of others. We hold you up in your courage and will remain spiritually connected to you. I offer love, compassion, and soothing for your wife, children and family. Please know you are never alone. I stand by.....

Re: Maid

Posted by CentralAB on Jul 13, 2020 4:15 pm

Hello Dave73‍  I just noticed this topic that you have started here.There are a number of topics here I have not had a chance to look at yet. I do not have cancer myself, but I looked after my wife who had cancer, until she died on Apr 6th of this year. In some ways, I am sorry to hear that you have had to make this decision, yet, I know, just from my wife and our experience that being able to choose how you are going to live and, yes die is very rewarding, and I cant possibly imagine what your decision must feel like, for you or your family. But I do post this with sincere prayers for peace and for all those final words and actions that must take place. In some sense, none of that is final, because by the looks of things, you have left a wonderful legacy of caring & sharing here on the site. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, Wednesday.

Dave73:
Helllo alll my friend I actually figured out how to get my own board. Illl. Start by saying I’m scared and could use some friends to cheer me up
first is this cathater I have to use ct scan says I ha ve kidney stones. I misss you all and wish I had alll of yours courage. I was accepted for maid. Wednesday afternoon is my time. I’m alitttle scared but not as scared as I thought St. Peter is the hospital they use .i want to thank my friend Lacy for her experience if anyone has any experience let me know because I’m scared 

 
________________ "there is always a little Light"