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Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Dec 16, 2019 11:09 am

Vox‍ , I live in the snow belt, too. Of course, you could live an hour away from me and still be in the snow belt! LOL 
“When the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.” - Japanese saying

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by PearlFran on Dec 16, 2019 11:46 am

I continue Christmas celebration with family and friends despite cancer.   Just keep my energy up for the feasts and laughter.  Lucky me.

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by CentralAB on Dec 17, 2019 3:59 pm

Rose6:
This is my first Christmas without my husband, Cliff.  Christmas was his very favourite time of year and I know that he would want us to celebrate Christmas in the way that we always did. 

I love that "Christmas Village!"  I used to get my sons to help me with something similar each year. We had so much fun doing that! Of course, I had to teach them a much needed skill of building things out of sugar cubes.
I find Christmas to be draining these days. It has largely lost its significance in our lives because of the cancer and how it makes everything harder.
We have a living room full of beautiful plants that I tend to year round, so what I have started doing is to decorate some of them with miniature LED lights. We are both tree-huggers" so that always makes for a nice atmosphere, and welcome change from the rest of the year. I actually leave those lights on year round, and when we feel like a bit of "the spirit of christmas," I just turn them on. Ill share a pic here when I get them up and running for this year. :)
________________ "there is always a little Light"

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Dec 18, 2019 11:02 am

CentralAB‍ , I know what you mean about cancer taking significance out of Christmas. For me, in some ways, cancer has helped me rediscover the significance of Christmas. Oh there have been other factors, including age, a decreasing family circle, and even retirement.

In my 20s and early 30s, I went all-out at Christmas, I made ornaments to put on the packages, I wrapped things up (including the house) like Martha Stewart, we dined with friends, and hosted many an occasion. Over time, I realized I was spending weeks gearing up for something that is over in just hours!

When I moved into this house, I started out fine, put up a tree every year, had decorations all over, and put Christmas towels in the kitchen and bathrooms. I saw a shift 3 years ago when my little dog died just 7 days before Christmas. The next Christmas, my Mom had passed away a few months before, and my Dad had his lung surgery 10 days before Christmas, so I didn’t put up a tree that year, either, nor have I since. 

The man in my life isn’t much into the season, and he merely watched the decorations go up and come down. He doesn’t decorate anything in his own house. I’ve concluded that the spirit of Christmas isn’t in the decorations, and I’d rather spend the hours it will take to put up and take down a tree on other enterprises. Plus, I still haven’t figured out what my cat will think of a tree and its accoutrements. Not sure I want to find out!

To me, the barrage of commercials saying “buy me, buy me” is draining, especially this year, as are those “friends” on FB with their angst about being wished “seasons greetings,” or “happy holidays.” My irritation with that could be directly linked to being a caregiver, and feeling that I just don’t have time for that pettiness.

So, if cancer and other contributing factors have “pared down” my season, that’s OK. I feel it has brought me closer to the spirit of the season, of wanting peace on earth and good health for all.

However you celebrate, and whoever is with you, have a wonderful holiday.
“When the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.” - Japanese saying

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by Wendy Tea on Dec 18, 2019 8:19 pm

Cynthia Mac‍ ,  I think it is time I chimed in. I agree the holidays are far too commercial. I have a group of very special friends located across the country. My holiday shopping starts January 1st and all year long I pick up interesting, quirky, inexpensive gifts and put them in the gift cabinet. This means I dont have to rely on gifting a box of chocolates or something that I didn't put some thought into. It also means 98% of my shopping is done by December 1st.

I am on my own for the holidays. This doesn't mean I am lonely, nor does it mean I am by myself. I have put minimal decorations up. I love sending cards to those who dont have internet, and sending emails to many others. 

The stress of holiday celebrations are made worse by thinking every minute has to be filled. The less I plan the more free time I have to accept spontaneous invitations. Tomorrow will be my third lunch out this week, and as of Monday, only one lunch was planned. I will meet friends on the weekend, on the 23rd and the 24th. If I find myself alone on the 25th, I will go for a walk, greet everyone I see, cook a beautiful dinner for myself, wear new PJ's and enjoy the day. Otherwise I might get a surprise invitation. Either way I am good.

My goal continues to be to keep stress at a minimum. Hence I am grateful my son and his beautiful wife are staying put in Seattle. In the past, I have travelled many miles to spend time with friends but 2019 has been my year to put on my own oxygen mask first. 

For those of you spending the day alone, you are not alone. I will be thinking of you. Think of me and we will be together.

Peace.
Wendy Tea 
Healing takes time and opportunity. Wendy Tea

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by Brighty on Dec 18, 2019 8:27 pm

Wendy Tea‍       and Cynthia Mac‍  Had to add my 2 cents as well.   While the holiday is very commercialized whatever you do, don't re-gift!     I got caught doing that once and it didn't go over well.       That's a story for when we meet.     As you know my dad is a hoarder, so I figured I'll just go rummaging around in his basement for gifts since he has everything under the sun and moon down there.       Moral of the story....if you are going to re-gift, make sure you know what you are wrapping up before you give it to the person.      Full story to follow.     
Help is out there. All you have to do is reach out.

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by Wendy Tea on Dec 18, 2019 8:57 pm

Brighty‍ Thanks for the chuckle. I can't wait to hear the entire story. I dont regift unless it is a trip to the thrift store to help charities raise funds. My biggest problem with my gift cabinet is that I buy things I like and then I have difficulty parting with gifts destined for others!

Cheers!
Healing takes time and opportunity. Wendy Tea

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by Brighty on Dec 18, 2019 9:02 pm

Wendy Tea‍  shall I wait until we meet to reveal the rest of the story?  Or shall I post it and give everyone on the site a chuckle?   LOL.    
Help is out there. All you have to do is reach out.

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by Wendy Tea on Dec 18, 2019 9:04 pm

Brighty‍ , so many are struggling that if you can make us laugh, I think that is perfect. How about putting it into Laughter is the Best Medicine? 

Wendy Tea 
Healing takes time and opportunity. Wendy Tea

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by Brighty on Dec 18, 2019 9:08 pm

Wendy Tea‍   Ok, not a bad idea.  I'm not sure if others will find it funny..........my friend who received the gift certainly did not.   But ya, it's worth a try for a chuckle.     
Help is out there. All you have to do is reach out.

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by Wendy Tea on Dec 18, 2019 9:15 pm

Brighty‍ , maybe it is a good time to discuss holiday disasters so we can laugh at ourselves! I once ate an entire dinner and then the host groaned and said the brussel sprouts were prepped and still in the fridge! 
Healing takes time and opportunity. Wendy Tea

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Dec 18, 2019 9:16 pm

Brighty‍ , I remember the story from last year...I tried to find it quickly, but couldn’t. Perhaps I didn’t recall the right keyword.
“When the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.” - Japanese saying

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by Brighty on Dec 18, 2019 9:18 pm

Cynthia Mac‍  yup.    I just posted it in the laughter  section.     
Help is out there. All you have to do is reach out.

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by soulwynn on Jan 23, 2020 9:29 pm

This Christmas was the first one I spent without my partner. It was really hard. This year and last year we didn't put up my big tree. I sort of wish we had put it up in 2018 given what ended up happening.

Regardless, one thing I did do this year was purchase a little tree just for him. I decorated it with ornaments that reminded me of his favourite things; Tim Horton's, baseball, photography, etc. I was listening to a podcast about grief, and this was specifically about losing someone and then having to go through all of those "special occasions" without them. They recommended that you don't try to make it all the same, because no matter what you do, it will be different. They're not present in the same way anymore. What they suggested instead was doing something purposefully different: for them, or in honour of them. I liked that suggestion a lot, and I think it really helped. 

It's been a challenge, and sometimes I just feel kind of numb. 

On a funny note: Every Thanksgiving or Christmas we would bring the cranberry sauce to his sister's place, and she would forget to put it out. Every. Year. Hahaha

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Jan 24, 2020 10:28 am

soulwynn‍ - a tribute tree! What a lovely idea.

This Christmas, my Dad decided to change the tradition of having all the women cooking all day for a meal that’s gone in a half hour, so we did Swiss Chalet. You can bet the women appreciated it!
“When the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.” - Japanese saying

Re: Let's Discuss...Holiday Traditions

Posted by Daniel-J on Feb 12, 2020 12:15 am

It's been a long time since I've celebrated a holiday, the next holiday won't be special for me. There are more important things for me than holding the holidays.