I reproduced your journal entry here.I hope you don't mind. We can't respond to your journal the way it is.
Stepping through PTSD minefields by Elspeth.
I am slipping into a major Ptsd flashback due to this upcoming breast biopsy. I sadly come into this new path with absolute distrust and lack of faith in all things medical. I was left to "die" on my own, despite trying in vain to access medical help for myself with a condition I didn't even know I was suffering from. I was in the military, I was labelled as sick lame and lazy and for four years, the medical section, which was the only medical help I was authorized to access insisted that I was "Stressed". I tried without success for four years to get my symptoms looked into but nope, didn't happen. When at the end of my rope, I was prompted to try just one more time and this time I was given a chit to get an MRI done so I could prove to my daughter there was a physical reason for her mother deteriorating in front of her eyes. It was/is a Tectal Glioma.....now 13 years forward, I have an abnormal mammogram and now scheduled for a biopsy. My terror comes in feeling that I will again have to "yell" at the top of my lungs and I still wont be heard by those who are in the medical field.... I need my daughter to be my number two to advocate for me in this...I don't know that I can do this alone after being left to die for four years in plain sight of everyone.
Response / Comment:
The positive difference I see between your first experience, and the current situation is that you are getting immediate investigation this time.
Once the biopsy is completed, hopefully you will have an answer to move forward with. That may be treatment, or monitoring or a combination of both.
I certainly understand your feelings and fears. I've had some pretty upsetting issues during my treatments as well. But we can't paint every medical team with the same brush. What happened to you in the Military is just plain wrong. Its tough, but can I suggest you try to see the differences here. Today, a medical investigation appears to be happening for you to determine what the abnormal mammogram means. This time your medical team has acted very much on your behalf with good follow up - the biopsy.
Perhaps even discussing your previous experience (the delay in getting medical attention before you were diagnosed with Tectal Glioma) may help your current medical team understand your concerns and justified fears this time around.
Have you discussed these issues with any mental health professionals? Certainly traumatic events like you describe don't just go away, but therapy can help us deal with these traumas as best we can.
I hope this helps, and please keep in touch here.
p.s. If you reproduce the content of your journal into the "Main Content" portion and "post it", we can then respond with comments to your journal. I hope this helps too.
ACH2015 - Andy.