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Type in your feelings either preant or baggage you are carrying from the past

Type in your feelings either preant or baggage you are carrying from the past

Posted by SpeedyStill on Mar 3, 2019 9:34 am

Fear of Failure Which  Was Baggage I Carried A My Lead to A Lot of Stress In My Life

I will start by saying that my cancer community handle is SpeedyStill. and I will go al the way back to Elementary School. I was born November 13/1947 and started grade one early. My cousin was born in February of the following year. I know this has changed for the better and parents have the choice of starting school or holding back their son or daughter.  I was definitely not ready.  I would look out the window and pretend I was outside playing.  Because I was not listening to the Teacher my marks were not good. I was also left handed and back then they tried to get me to use my right hand which was a complete disaster.  Right handed children were treated as being smarter because that was the normal hand to use. Now I am also color blind which is actually not correct terminology.  People like me have trouble distinguishing browns and greens blue and purple it is more that our eyes have trouble with different  Shading.  When I started coloring the grass light brown they thought this kid is really mixed up.
I don't remember exactly when I got the Nickname Speedy which even the teachers would use. My recollection is that a Teacher thinking they were smart started the Nickname.
I think it is important that a message should not be too long so I am going to give you the punch line now.

This went on up until grade 3 and no surprise I failed grade 3 and watched all of my friends move ahead to grade 4.
I can't imagine the severe hurt that I felt all I can say is that I carried this baggage with throw my entire life
So as I see it I am still Speedy after all these years 


Re: Type in your feelings either preant or baggage you are carrying from the past

Posted by Elsie13 on Mar 6, 2019 4:57 pm

SpeedyStill‍ I've started remembering something very odd from my  Primary School years in Scotland.  I was born in 1956.  When I was around 8 or 9 years old, I remember there were usually 40 or so kids in our class each year.  So late December, or late January each year, there were mid term exams, and all the marks were added up.  So your English, Math, Geography etc. was all added up. So the teachers had a list of who was top of the class, who was second, third, etc. and also who was last place and second last and so on. 
  The desks were arranged in 6 rows and 7 columns, or vice versa. So from the teacher's perspective, the top student was in the desk at the back Left, and the second place student in front of her, and the third place student in front of that. So the last in the class was seated front Right, and the second last was seated in the desk him. So everyone knew exactly "who was better than whom." 
    So the thing is, everyone accepted that this was how things should be done!  Now it would be almost child abuse!  I mean, some of the people with a low average mark might have been good in Math, but lousy in English, Geography, History or anything requiring good language skills. And so maybe those kids on the Right of the class were being labeled as losers, and so never had any confidence.