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The buzz cut

The buzz cut

Posted by dmarie on Feb 26, 2019 7:46 am

Yesterday (day 12 after first round of chemo):

Mid-morning today my hair started really falling out. I knew it would happen but it was still a bit of a shock when it actually did. I could not get in to my normal hairstylist until Wednesday afternoon so decided I would just go to a walk-in salon and get a buzz cut.

For me the whole issue of going bald is that it makes the cancer very public. It will become a definition of who I am. I will become “That woman who has cancer”. I don’t want to be that woman. I just want to be me.

Today:

Very odd to catch myself in the mirror and be missing my hair. Even odder to run my hand over my head and feel stubble. My husband, who bravely came with me yesterday incase I had a meltdown, says he actually thinks it looks good.

When I think of everything we have to go through- the trauma of surgery, the months of chemo, the weeks of radiation - loosing one’s hair is not that big.
I have decided I will not be “That woman who has cancer”, I will be “That woman who beat cancer”

 

Re: The buzz cut

Posted by Lacey_adminCCS on Feb 26, 2019 9:56 am

Thanks for sharing dmarie‍ !! 

I love your outlook! 

Have you decided if you will use any head coverings? They have wonderful soft caps for sleeping in!

Lacey

Re: The buzz cut

Posted by dmarie on Feb 26, 2019 10:22 am

I have a couple of nice cancer beanies and, of course, at this time of year in Manitoba, I will be wearing a hat outdoors! On Thursday I have a LGFB session at my  cancer centre so will see what I do after that. 

Re: The buzz cut

Posted by Lacey_adminCCS on Feb 26, 2019 3:51 pm

dmarie‍ 

Glad you're staying warm. Amazing how much heat hair provides!

I hope you find the LGFB session helpful! Let us know how it goes!

Lacey

Re: The buzz cut

Posted by ashcon on Feb 26, 2019 4:00 pm

dmarie‍ 

Your attitude is 100% right!  This To Do List is for you, and for everyone else out there who is determined to not let cancer define them!
PS: The LGFB session was the best part of the whole cancer experience for me, and I hope it is for you as well.

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ashcon (Ann)
 

Re: The buzz cut

Posted by dmarie on Feb 26, 2019 7:32 pm

Thanks for the support and the To-Do List. I'll try to tick all the boxes!

Re: The buzz cut

Posted by Kims1961 on Feb 26, 2019 11:55 pm

dmarie‍   What a great attitude you have!!!

When I finally shaved my head due to the hair loss, my worry is that now I look "sick".   When my eye lashes and eyebrows went - thenI felt like a human emoji !😀. Like you, I would walk past a mirror and be shocked by what I saw because I felt almost "normal" until I saw the baldy!

You are so right - this is temporary...it means that the treatment is doing it's job  - each treatment is a step towards beating cancer.  You Go Girl!!

Kim

Re: The buzz cut

Posted by Essjay on Feb 27, 2019 9:48 am

Hi dmarie‍  - enjoy the LGFB workshop, I enjoyed mine a couple of weeks ago.

and hello from Steinbach, Manitoba 👋

Essjay

Re: The buzz cut

Posted by luvcurling on Feb 27, 2019 10:21 am

Thanks everyone for these messages. ashcon‍, your list is fabulous - I may put that on my fridge as a reminder.

I'm prepared for the hair loss, as in I have scarves, hats, turbans, for my head. What I'm not sure I have ready is my mind - your posts have helped me start to sort that out - so thanks. Day 4 post chemo #1. A few days to go so will work on my mind.......

Have a great day - warmer here today in Alberta - but back to the deep freeze on the weekend....

C

Re: The buzz cut

Posted by Runner Girl on Feb 27, 2019 12:33 pm

Hi dmarie‍ , luvcurling‍ 

I'm sure you will both find losing your hair to be very empowering, even if it doesn't feel like it now.  I know I sure did.  I was mortified to lose my long hair.  But I decided to take control of the situation, because there wasn't much else I could control, and had my hair buzzed off before it started falling out.  That way I got to decide, not the chemo for my cancer.  

The first time I wore a head covering to work (I worked thru my treatment) I was heartbroken walking thru the Plus 15 when a couple of women passed me and just about broke their necks turning away from me so as not to look at me.  By the time I reached my office I was practically laughing out loud.  I decided I was going to own wearing my head cover and if others couldn't look at me it was their problem not mine.  

It's been 3 months since chemo ended, my head is covered in silver hair, but not enough to keep my head warm so I continue to wear my head covering and continue to own it!

Good luck ladies, you're going to do great!

Gayle - Runner Girl

Re: The buzz cut

Posted by Joanie on Mar 5, 2019 11:34 pm

Hello dmarie,
My solution for the not wanting to look like a cancer patient;
When i go out, i always wear my wig, or the special hair piece I had made.  ( I will describe below the special hair piece.)  This way, when I go out, I dont ever get the pity look, and i dont want it.  i dont want to look like the cancer patient when I go out. 
At home, I wear great little caps that i buy at winners or the bay.  They are not cancer caps.  If I add snazzy sparkling  earings, i feel great.    try to get my eyebrows, rouge  and lipstick on,    Then I feel better.  

Special hair piece:
I went to a little shop that makes extensions.  they took a mesh beanie and sewed three layers of my long hair onto it.  the top of the mesh beanie has  no hair. the hair is stitched in 3 layers just above the ears.  I can put on any touque, any ball hat, anycute cap and it looks tremendous!!  I had long hair to begin with.  

Re: The buzz cut

Posted by Marilyn MDS on Mar 6, 2019 11:28 am

Oh my gosh - do I hear you. The "poor woman" looks just about knock me over. But I have decided to match those looks with the "I am beating it" look. I have found that responding positivity generates positivity. Fear does weird things to people. They are the ones uncomfortable. And I have decided that as a Grandmother to 5 great kids and mother of 3, that my task is to teach.... everyone. Bravery is not the absence of fear but the courage to act in spite of fear. When I hear "I am so sorry you have cancer" I tell them not to be sorry. It is not their fault. Be vigilant. Be supportive. Cancer is not contagious. And Cancer is curable. It's harder to heal a broken heart than it is to beat Cancer. Love yourself and others. Dark clouds happen but if it means the rain is coming it also means flowers will be blooming. Find a friend to sit and talk with while watching the storm roll through. Because...this too shall pass. Sunny skies are coming. I'm two chemo treatments in out of six. Not enjoying the side effects but focusing on the desired outcome. Stay strong and smile on.

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