Yesterday (day 12 after first round of chemo):
Mid-morning today my hair started really falling out. I knew it would happen but it was still a bit of a shock when it actually did. I could not get in to my normal hairstylist until Wednesday afternoon so decided I would just go to a walk-in salon and get a buzz cut.
For me the whole issue of going bald is that it makes the cancer very public. It will become a definition of who I am. I will become “That woman who has cancer”. I don’t want to be that woman. I just want to be me.
Very odd to catch myself in the mirror and be missing my hair. Even odder to run my hand over my head and feel stubble. My husband, who bravely came with me yesterday incase I had a meltdown, says he actually thinks it looks good.
When I think of everything we have to go through- the trauma of surgery, the months of chemo, the weeks of radiation - loosing one’s hair is not that big.
I have decided I will not be “That woman who has cancer”, I will be “That woman who beat cancer”