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The Days Ahead

The Days Ahead

Posted by Christmas Thimble on Feb 6, 2019 7:18 am

I was crying in the shower this morning.  My sadness started the night before, when I was reflecting on her importance in my life.  I am missing her.  I miss how she would call me to see how I was doing and she would listen to all of my stories, my thoughts, my stuff.  She was interested in me and in my life.  She was always praying to me, many times in a day.  I am missing her.

Re: The Days Ahead

Posted by Lianne_adminCCS on Feb 6, 2019 12:32 pm

Christmas Thimble‍ 
I am so sorry for the weight of the sadness you are feeling.  Having moments and days of a heavy heart like this remind you how much you love her and the good days will remind you that she is right there with you. It is okay to cry and feel sad. It is wonderful that you have so many good memories to draw on when you are sad. You can still tell her your stories - either in your own head or even out loud. I did that ( and still do ) when I lost my dad.

Thinking of you 

Hugs

Lianne

Re: The Days Ahead

Posted by Runner Girl on Feb 6, 2019 1:30 pm

Hi Christmas Thimble‍ ,
I read your post yesterday, cried and had to come back when I could hold it together.  My Mom died last January and my wounds are still really fresh.  We spoke every day so not having that any more has been devastating.  To compensate, I talk to her all the time, either in my head or out loud.  I have a few of her fleece tops and when I'm really missing her I put one on so she can "hug" me.  I didn't get to deal with my grief because shortly after she passed I was diagnosed with breast cancer and have had to focus on my own health.  I have also lost my dad (2013) and my sister (April 1986) and my brother (August 1986).  I am not a stranger to the grief process.

Please, talk to her whenever you need to.  She is listening.  Crying over the loss is completely ok, do it as often as you need to.  In time you won't cry any more and you will be filled with a warm feeling when you think of her.  

Take gentle care of yourself.

Gayle - Runner Girl

Re: The Days Ahead

Posted by Christmas Thimble on Feb 6, 2019 1:51 pm

Lianne_adminCCS  - My Mother in law was very much like a mom to me.  She been gone for almost 3 weeks now.  I do have wonderful memories of her.  Thank you for listening

Re: The Days Ahead

Posted by Kims1961 on Feb 6, 2019 1:59 pm

Christmas Thimble‍  Thank you for your post - sadness can come upon us at anytime and truly reflects connections we have made. There are times I go to call my mom - realized that she passed away in 2011 - so I "speak" to her instead in my thoughts.  She'd appreciate it this way....saves the long distance charges...

Sending hugs, kim

Re: The Days Ahead

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Feb 7, 2019 8:12 am

Christmas Thimble‍ , yes, this is the hard part - moving on without them. 

I have a little area on my dresser, (which sits in the “love and relationships” corner of my bedroom, for those who do feng shui). I have always kept a photo of my parents-in-law on their wedding day. When my Mom passed away, I found a little frame that had a picture of her and Dad and one of me all taken at about the same time. I brought that little tryptic home and placed it in the same place. These items have their own little place of honour, and I’m reminded of these important people every time I put on perfume or dust the dresser top. 

When we are having those moments of sadness, it can be hard to see that they are still with us. But their influence is still with us, and our memories of them will be with us for a long time to come, which means they are still with us, just in a different way.

Re: The Days Ahead

Posted by Minus2 on Feb 10, 2019 2:21 pm

Christmas Thimble‍, 
I have been following your posts and shedding a few tears along the way.  I feel for you and your family as your lives continue without your mother in law.  Many here have offered you insight into their own journeys with love and loss.  There is nothing really that takes the pain away except time, and in time, you will think of her without sadness but again with a sense of joy in your memories.  My dad passed away in 2006 and my mom passed in 2009.  I still cry but I laugh more.  Like Runner Girl‍ , I have a wool LL Bean sweater of mom's and when it's super cold or I am sick, it's my go to.  Looks a little ridiculous as it is too big, but that's not important.  I actually wore it home for my family's Thanksgiving gathering in October - both my parents died on Thanksgiving weekend - and most of the family members recognized the sweater.  I received a few extra hugs that day and took my fair share of teasing because it really is waaaay too big! 
Thinking of you.........Minus2

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