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Another obstacle...

Another obstacle...

Posted by Tee406 on Jan 25, 2019 2:34 pm

In light of many "life challenges and changes", I have received my diagnosis on January 16/19. All in the midst of being a single mother for a daughter (I have 3 children) who really needs me emotionally and financially, upcoming job loss, separation and pending divorce, among other life challenges. But the good news is that I felt something was wrong and finished my research paper for my Masters a couple of weeks before my diagnosis so at least that is a positive. Now to fight this unknown invader. Duodenal resection set for February 7 which may be closer to gaining a prognosis. I refuse to lose the "faith" however, at times it is difficult.

Re: Another obstacle...

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Jan 25, 2019 9:27 pm

Hi, Tee406‍ Welcome to Cancer Connection.

Congratulations on getting your research paper done in the flurry of events life has sent to you! Also, good for you for knowing your body well enough to sense that something was up.

Do you have family around you? I get that your husband is gone from your life, at least in a way, but do you have other family support - parents, siblings?

As you go through these next few weeks, you will learn a lot about resources that may be available to you. Most cancer centres have counselling services that offer help to people going through diagnosis and treatment.

In the meantime, you can come here to talk about your concerns, and we will do our best to get you linked to resources that might help.

Re: Another obstacle...

Posted by Tee406 on Jan 26, 2019 6:33 am

Hi Cynthia,

Thank you for your email. 

My only family in this part of the country are my three children as I am originally from Western Canada and moved to Toronto when I was 18. My parents and a sister, who was 48, passed within the last few years. I have an autistic brother I advocate and care for but he is two hours from Toronto in a small town - group home. I tried to get him moved closer to me but he likes it where he is. I have another sister in the same town but she faces various challenges and doesn’t drive. I am also a support for her.  My husband was my second husband of five years and left as I refused to join a cult he was involved in so he is totally out of my life. 

My daughter and I now find a peace and serenity in our home so that’s a positive. I know my children and I will get through this but the unknown prognosis  is difficult. I am grateful for this forum and the connection. I admire the strength and support seen here. 

Thank you,


Re: Another obstacle...

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Jan 26, 2019 9:24 pm

Hi Tee406‍ ,

I love that you have a peaceful and serene environment - this great for anyone to have at any time, and it can be especially good to have when you are going through all you are.  From your post, I imagine photos similar to ones that one of my Facebook friends posts about her home and her relationship with her daughters.

It truly sounds as though you have been there for others in your family over the years. Sometimes we do such a good job of that, that when our time of need comes, others aren’t able.

If your kids are old enough, and able, it will be helpful for you to have a second person in the room. I was that person for my Dad when he went through his lung cancer in 2017-2018. I recommend that you set up a notebook that we take to every appointment. I’m his “scribe” - I take notes of what the doctor says so Dad can focus on what the doctor says. We found that the notebook can save a call to a doctor for clarification by giving us a record of what the doctor said. 

Cancer Connection is a safe place for you to vent and get some good tips about getting through this journey. If you have any questions for someone as you read through the posts, you can “tag” them by typing the @ symbol followed immediately (no space) by the first few letters of their user name. You will see a drop-down with several options and you can choose the name of the person you want to get in touch with.

Re: Another obstacle...

Posted by Lee Ellen on Jan 27, 2019 3:54 pm

Hello, Tee406‍ ,

You certainly do have a lot of challenges and changes going on in your life. Congratulations of getting your master's thesis completed!

Yes, the weeks or months spent waiting for a diagnosis or a prognosis are frustrating and frightening. I'm glad that you'll know more very soon, and hope that you'll update us.

Best wishes, Lee Ellen