Posted by Nicole_admin on Jan 28, 2015 1:23 pm
Changes to your body may be temporary or permanent, let’s discuss how cancer has impacted your body image
Posted by Kerbear on Jan 28, 2015 3:06 pm
i look in the mirror and hate what i see, when i am dressing up to go out, i feel like i am wearing a costume, with my wig, drawn on brows,, as much as i am thankful for those things, i just dont feel like me.
On the upside, i have an amazingly supportive husband, who is always trying to boost me up on the days i feel really down on myself.
recently i have been shifting my focus from the negative to how I can use this time I have to get better from the inside. Reading lots of health and nutrition books, some i obtained from the hospital library, adding exercise to my days, eating better..i am not working right now, and always complained that i never had time to eat healthy, no excuses now! I have the time off work, and have decided to use it to improve my way of thinking and eating. I feel that this will help me shift my thoughts, and if i feel better inside, then the other stuff will fall into place. It has been 2 weeks, and i must say i do have more energy. I still feel odd going out, but my hair is slowly coming in, and i am trying to look at it as a "rebirth"
i have my down days still, but only i can change how i feel about myself, and im tired of not liking what i see, so every little thing i can do to make me feel better is helping. Go out an buy a new outfit, try some different makeup, have long baths, pamper yourself any way you can! As far as the sex life, that is a work in progress, and thankfully my husband is very patient!
Posted by journeys on Jan 28, 2015 5:08 pm
As for not being happy with your breasts, yes I totally get that! As many women who've been through this do. You may consider reconstruction (I don't know your exact situation). My breasts are a work in progress! I'm having my third surgery on them in May. I don't like the way they look at all, & that's going on 3 years now. I don't even know how much of an improvement there will be after surgery #3. (Third time's the charm?)
However, and this is going to sound cliche, but the more time passes,the more I get used to this and the less I focus on it. I think you will too! Of course you have every right to b**** about it until you get there. As we all do! I hope this in some way brings a little comfort! Hang in there!!
Posted by Shenpa on Jan 29, 2015 7:55 am
I will have a double mastecotmy in February. At first a resconstruction (boob job and a tummy tuck) sounded like a wonderful option, but it is a 6 hour surgery and my body will have already been through so very much. Then I found out I will not qualify for reconstruction for at least a year and a half because I have inflammatory breast cancer and the skin is involved. I had a poor experience shopping for prosthetics (planner that I am I went well in advance of needing them to see what is ahead). The more thought I gave to it the more I realized the only reason I want to pretend I have the same body shape is for returning to work, so I don't appear "too different" so I can put this behind me. At this point I am thinking I will go without anything to "replace" by breasts, no breasts will be my new reality afterall and I believe I can do it and be proud of making it through. The thought process to getting here has been long. I will miss my curvy body but my breasts did their intended job of feeding two babies and the cancer has turned them into a threat to my life. I have given much thought to the change in shape after the surgery and I feel ready. Acceptance has been a strong theme in this cancer journey, I continue to try to do it with grace because sometimes the only control we have is how we respond.
Posted by Nicole_admin on Jan 29, 2015 10:03 am
Findjanet, deciding on reconstruction is a very personal choice and I think it's so positive that you're considering different options. I think the best choice is an informed one that's best for you. When is your surgery date in February?
Journeys, how do you manage to stay patient and positive while waiting between surgeries?
Posted by northernguy on Jan 29, 2015 5:45 pm
Posted by wildfire on Jan 30, 2015 8:57 pm
Posted by Shenpa on Jan 31, 2015 6:30 am
Posted by journeys on Jan 31, 2015 6:04 pm
Posted by Pygmalion on Jan 31, 2015 11:30 pm
Posted by joey on Feb 9, 2015 1:04 pm
I feel for all of you going through breast cancer surgery. My sister has had both breasts removed ten years ago. She then went through colon cancer surgery. She is my inspiration. She has not had reconstuctiion and is not planning on it. She has been so brave throughout her journey through the surgeries and chemo and radiation. She always jokes about not having any cleavage anymore. I guess that is how she has gotten through it, the joking and trying not to let the disease take away who she is. I am now going to have my own journey with surgery but it is a hysterectomy and therefore not as disfiguring as breast removal. I hope that as time goes on that you can come to terms with your loss of your breasts. I guess that our image, in our minds, about ourselves is an important one and cancer forces us to adjust it. It is still you just a little different. My sister is still the person that I grew up with just a lttle modified. She still has her sense of humor and has the same personality. She has had a difficult time but has come out the other side with a new perspective on life and living. Now that I have cancer too, I can use her as an example to emulate. I am lucky, I have her to look to. She had me but without the experience to fall back on. Good luck in your journies and God speed.
Posted by Shenpa on Mar 12, 2015 9:56 am
Posted by Shenpa on Apr 4, 2015 8:43 am
All the best to one and all. Janet
Posted by Lara456 on Apr 4, 2015 3:16 pm
Posted by FrannyVolunteer on Apr 5, 2015 10:14 am
Chin-up many people live with incurable cancer and find that once they get used to the treatment they live fairly well and enjoy life. Mine is not curable but I'm still hear 15 years latter. "I love life"...
Posted by Steam on Sep 7, 2015 5:29 pm
I've not had a breast removed but I read that one of the after-effects is that swimming with a top or tshirt on is very uncomfortable, to the point of soreness.
If you're comfortable with your body and it's others who make you feel uncomfortable, I'd like to recommend an "All Bodies Swim" event at a civic pool. Vancouver and Edmonton host them monthly - perhaps other cities do as well. Grab your favourite internet search engine or call your local LGBTQ+ group (they are usually the organization that instigates this event.)
The idea is that people are welcome to swim in any attire, or lack thereof, that they wish as long as their genital region is covered. This makes for a welcoming environment for anyone who wants some physical activity regardless of tattooing, scarring, extensive body hair, excessive body weight, piercings, amputation, gender transitioning, etc. It allows you to focus on the fun of being in a swimming pool with a number of people who look a little different (just like you), rather than being distracted by strangers who haven't yet learned how to behave when they see someone with an unusual body.
Posted by maberlor on Dec 5, 2015 9:41 pm
My hairdresser suggested that I go see her friend who owns a wig shop. She showed me really nice head dresses and showed me how to put them on. She helped me choose two very nice peices that look pretty good on me. I proudly showed my new find to some friends. Well what i got was insults, mockery and laughing at me because I was "jumping the gun and giving in tothe cancer. To wear this before chemo is being an idiot. I tried to show them what is hapenning with my haif but they would not even look at my head. I guess it is time to choose better friends. I was so hurt, I was thinking i would get encouragement, instead i got ridicule.
I can't even begin how hurt I am, my husband can not be bothered with such unimportant things, hair loss is nothing to hm..."It's only hair" he says.
I understand that he is fighting his own demon, he has cancer too. Had surgery to remove his prostate but the cancer had spread outside of it and settled in his basin. He is sometimes in pain butthe cancer is not growing, not moving...kind of dormant.
so i can not get help from him because he says he has enough on his plate, does not need any of mine.
Loosing my hair may not mean much for some but for me, it is devastating.
Am I just a fool or is there any ladies out there who feel the same??
Posted by Addie on Dec 6, 2015 10:50 am
Posted by maberlor on Dec 6, 2015 3:44 pm
Addie, thanks so much for the encouragement. I always thought i had friends who would suport me in anything. I am heart broken but I am not staying there. I am moving on to new friends who understand and suport me. even tho, I feel so alone.
I guess that may be normal to feel that way for a bit.
I am happy I was directed to this site. I read all the posts.
Posted by michelle4444 on Dec 6, 2015 6:37 pm
Posted by Strawberry on Dec 7, 2015 1:25 pm
Posted by Addie on Dec 8, 2015 8:45 am
Keep a line of communication open and answer any questions they might have as openly and calmly as possible. And if you need help don't be afraid to ask. If they do not want to help, then you know where you stand. Often I fnd that they really want to but just don't know how and are delighted if given direction .
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