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Intense pain- Feel so alone

Intense pain- Feel so alone

Posted by THawk on May 21, 2020 7:04 am

Hello,
I have my surgery scheduled for next Friday to remove my large tumor on my right thyroid.  For months I have had a "dull roar" headache /   ear / jaw pain, then about 10 days ago it intensified on my left side.  Came on fast and stopped me in my tracks, brought tears to my eyes kind of pain.  It has been relentless pain, I am unable to sleep without crazy amounts of advil.  My doctors tried two different pain killers, but they make me sick and I still feel the pain.  They told me that it is likely that my tumor has infiltrated my recurrent laryngeal nerve and this is referred pain. On top of that   pain, all my lymph nodes on my left side are swollen and burning.  I have had to go on leave early as I am not sleeping and in so much pain.  Now that my surgery is so close I can not take the advil, and am only able to take the pain killers or Tylenol.  It is going to be a rough 9 days.  I have a prescription for CBD oil, and that helps a little.  I have stopped talking to some of my friends as I feel like such a 'Debbie Downer' all the time, nothing but bad news every time we talk.  I am trying to be stoic, but I cry by myself in secret so that they don't see my pain.   My kids, I must protect them as they are struggling seeing me like this.  I am sorry for being one of those members to post a downer of a thread topic.  
My son has a gratitude journal for an assignment at school.  I have decided to hop on that assignment myself.  In the midst of all this pain, I will be writing in his journal with him.  Every day we will write down what we are grateful for, and why.  Shift our focus on what we have to be thankful for.  I hope to show them how to persevere and compartmentalise the pain and difficult times.  

Re: Intense pain- Feel so alone

Posted by Whitelilies on May 22, 2020 5:59 pm

THawk‍ Hello
You are NOT "Debbie Downer".
You are Honest Hawk.
No one can be bubbly/smiley/upbeat 24 7......it is not "normal".
Your plate is full......NO one "gets it" until you "get it !". (You know what the "it" means)
CBD oil should give you some relief.
Glad you can support your child, and share in homework/journal on  gratitude.  There is A LOT to write on that.
Be grateful for their love.

Sending warmth,
Whitelilies

Lillian

Re: Intense pain- Feel so alone

Posted by SpeedyStill on May 22, 2020 8:16 pm

THawk‍ 
I suffer from chronic pain so I feel for you situation. Focusing on your children and what they are doing is good. There not a lot the Doctors can do to bring your pain level down. It is good you are having the procedure done without too much waiting time.
It is surprising the amount of pain a person can handle when we have to.
Crying is great it helps to release our feelings. Do not surpress those feelings get them out using what works for you.
Personally I drown out the pain by listening to music and singing along with the songs. My mind is so busy following the lyrics that I do not have time to feel the pain.
Family and friends will not understand your situation and will therefore not be as active with you. This is a very common situation with people in a trauma event. Talked about extensively within this Community.
I have never completely figured out why this happens but it does.
Please do not feel bad about your post. This is exactly the tpye of information which is so important to the conversation on dealing with pain for other members of the Community.
I hope you find the strenght to navigate throw the next 9 days.
Always,
Speedystill