Log in or Register to participate in these discussions

Hodgkin’s Lymphoma

Hodgkin’s Lymphoma

Posted by Mommaluvzreece on Jun 19, 2020 4:08 pm

I am a mom, whose 22 year old son is living with this disease. He was diagnosed before Thanksgiving of 2019. He underwent chemo until March of this year. He has chosen to no longer continue with treatment. I, as his mom, have done everything I can to have him finish his treatment but he has been adamant that he is not going to finish it out. At this point, I am trying to wrap my head around his decision & be supportive, yet my heart is breaking & I am terrified this disease will come back quickly & take him. 

If anyone knows of someone going through the same situation, I’d be comforted to know I’m not alone with this. 

Re: Hodgkin’s Lymphoma

Posted by MCoaster on Jun 19, 2020 8:22 pm

Welcome Mommaluvzreece‍ 

I too am a mother and my heart goes out to you.   To be torn between supporting your son and standing by and watching him make such a tremendous decision must be hell.

Hopefully you and he have access to counseling and have support which gives support without being judgemental.   I know neither you or your son but my guess is that you are both feeling traumatized by the diagnosis and treatment and I know that personally I would feel angry and helpless because he should be looking into a long and full life instead of facing cancer.  Is he open talking about his feelings?   There are others here with the same diagnosis and if he knew that we do not give any identifying information unless we choose to he might feel easier.

Please free to use this site as an emotional release and support.     There are many knowledgeable and kind people here I am sure that you will hear from others soon.

He is fortunate to have you as his mother.

We are here for you.

Margaret

what a lovely calico cat.

Re: Hodgkin’s Lymphoma

Posted by Mommaluvzreece on Jun 19, 2020 9:24 pm

Hello.
Thank you for your message. I appreciate your thoughtfulness. My son had a counsellor when he was receiving treatment. He talked a little bit with her, but wasn’t really receptive to opening up more. Unfortunately, my son is his mother’s child...lol! He & I both find it hard to open up & talk about our feelings with others. We walk around with the weight of the world on our shoulders. 
Thankfully, he has some good friends that he has talked to, which I’m grateful for. At least he has that outlet. As for me, I am trying to let people in & be open about how I am feeling with all this.

I am thankful to have found this site. 

Dee

P.S. Thank you for your compliment about my cat. Her name is Misty. She is a tortoiseshell 😊

Re: Hodgkin’s Lymphoma

Posted by happyhiker1 on Jun 21, 2020 8:34 pm

Mommaluvzreece‍   So sorry you have to go thru' this, with  your son's refusing chemo.  I don't know what his reasons might be, but understanding them would help in addressing any concerns I should think, but I imagine you have explored that already.
  I went thru 6 months of chemo every two weeks, 9 yrs ago for my Hodgkins.  Once thru the chemo, it was a steady road back to full health (well, until this totally unrelated breast cancer that hit me last fall, now treated and behind me!).
I assume your son's doctor has presented the pros and cons of chemo and problems if it is stopped.  What  helped me get thru the long treatment period was reading the experiences of fellow Hodgkin patients on various forums and blogs.  Just reading about how others were having to go thru it and how they dealt with it, was a tremendous help.  And the lymphoma society also offered to put me in touch with someone who had gone thru it, for advice, etc, although I don't remember that I followed up with that. But maybe that is something that would help him.  From what I was told, if you have to have cancer, Hodgkins is one of the 'best', it can be cured.  I don't know if your son is into sports but if so, there are well known athletes who have been thru Hodgkins, it might help your son to follow their stories.  I wish you both well, not easy when our kids make big decisions we don't agree with.