Thanks for your kind words! Just seeing your message now. I've tagged you, but I'm never sure if it works, because it doesn't pull the name when I do. I hope you get this message.
You mention it's all about quality of life, and I'm kind of starting to think the same way in regards to dad. He suffered quite a bit during chemo, and he's just starting to climb the hill a little. He's still quite weak, and I'm wondering if it's worth it to put him through more suffering. It could be dangerous.
So in the next week, we will have to make more tough decisions! :( I was hoping that after finishing chemo, we could rest for a while, and take a break, but the battle continues!
How sad that you siblings are not stepping up to the plate. They are DEFINITELY lucky to have you!! I wish I had at least one brother or sister to share the burden with.
Your father is also at a critical age for chemo! How many rounds will he be getting and when does he start? I sure hope it's not too tough on him!
My mother had breast cancer 18 years ago in her left breast, and now it's in her right breast. Because she has received chemo in the past, and her age (85), the Oncologist said she would not receive chemo this time. She was SO relieved about that, cause she couldn't see herself with a pic line, like my dad had. Instead she will be taking a pill for the next five years, and the radiation. Luckily this time around, her breast cancer is hormone receptor positive, unlike the one 18 years ago.
I live with my parents, well kind of. We have a big house, with a separate apartment, so we are always together. I have done so much, I feel when this is all over, I could become a nurse! Many days, it is a full time job, and I wouldn't have it any other way! They are the most important people in my life!
Anyways, enough rambling on. Thanks for listening and keep me posted.
I have been following this discussion from afar. Just wanted to comment on the tagging issue. Type an @ symbol and then begin typing the name. After three letters a dropdown list will appear and allow you to select the appropriate name. Keep typing letters if the list is long. ONce you select a name it should turn blue indicating that there is a link underneath.
Tough support situation. I am so lucky. Most of my family is out on the prairies but I have a stepmother who stepped up to the plate with me. I also had a great boss/friend and church support group that gave me rides and other help when I needed it. On the other hand I'm a stubborn Scot who didn't ask for help as often as probably should have.
Line , it’s not exactly that my siblings aren’t stepping up — they’re doing what they can around their work schedule - it’s more arm’s-length in that they aren’t communicating what they are doing, which leaves me second guessing what’s been done, and sometimes repeating tasks unknowingly. And, they are visiting Dad.
When coming home after Dad’s surgery in late 2017, I did get the opportunity to make the point with one of them that just because I am retired doesn’t mean I was planning to do nothing for the rest of my life — I did have plans.
I keep a running list of what happens at Dad’s when I’m there, as well as a medical journal, which was kept up at the last appointment, so I was able to read back over the notes for the appointment I missed.
Dad’s pretty hardy for 80 - guess that, too, is thanks to good old Scottish blood and early years working on a farm. He’ll get 4 rounds, and the immunotherapy will continue for 2 years (maybe longer).
So your mom’s BC isn’t a recurrence, but a whole new type of cancer.
I’m with you - I was always close to my parents, too, and while caregiving can get to you at times, I look at it as giving back for all the things they gave me growing up.
My parents have given me sooo much and continue to do so, that giving back to them is only normal. I wouldn't have it any other way. I would do anything for them!
I also have been keeping a binder of everything that's been going on with dad. Thank God, cause it's been really helpful at times.
I've been off for a while, and as you mention, doesn't mean we have nothing to do or in your case, no plans! I know I've been very busy keeping up with appointments, meds, chores around the house, grounds keeping etc. I hope you and your siblings have better communication to make it easier for all concerned.
Thank God for good old Irish blood! I hope he says strong through the next treatments!
Oh and yes, I guess mom's BC would be a new cancer.
Keep trying that tagging Line . Don’t put a space between the name and the @ symbol. (IOW, don’t’ do what I just did!)
Dad had his first treatment last Monday (the 15th). Apart from mouth sores, he’s managing well. As he says, though, when you’ve got something like that, that’s a chronic ache, it can bring you down in a short amount of time.
Stubborn Scot - Well, having seen my Dad, (stubborn Scot) and my uncle (stubborner Englishman) in action, I’ll take the stubborn Scots, thank you! (But, my bias is showing — I’ve also lived with two stubborn Englishmen over time... I’m happily dating a Glaswegian born man now! 😉