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Just need to talk
Debbie5
18 Posts
Just need to talk, don't know how to start, having trouble concentrate, can't figure out how to communicate
30 Replies
Brighty
8700 Posts

@Debbie5 hi….thank you for reaching out. Share what you are comfortable with. We will not judge.

MIB
12 Posts

@Debbie5 I'm Mary. It may help to just write short phrases. Like, “frustrated,” “can't think straight," “I'm afraid”.

I just saw a gerontologist to rule out early dementia due to chemo fog. I passed the tests. No dementia. Cancer is scary. It changes our thought processes. Just write whatever comes to mind.

JenG
256 Posts

@Debbie5 sending warm hugs. we are here for you.

Kuching
458 Posts
Hi Debbie5‍ . I am next door in Ontario, with lung cancer, 74 years old. Looking back on your previous posts, I see that you had possible kidney cancer a couple of years ago. I don’t see anything about what happened there - sorry if I just missed it, I’m not that great on the technology! So, if you want to talk, maybe you can tell us what happened? Did you have a kidney removed? And what is happening now? How are your kids reacting? Please don’t feel you have to answer any of these questions, but I thought it might give you a starting point for us to help you. And basically, we all come to this site because we “just need to talk”, so don’t be shy!
JMB
8 Posts

@Debbie5 feel good about yourself that you are reaching out. It is important to recognize when you need support. My sister said to me that this breast cancer is horrible, frustrating and stressful. Finally someone who told it straight.
Once hearing this it got me on a path to accept the diagnosis, commit to the surgery and post surgery plan. Focusing on a future event or gathering helped me too. I went to speak to my family doctor and she told me that right now I might feel that I am swirling around in the uncertainty. The further away I get from the diagnosis hopefully the stronger I will feel.
Thinking of you.

Trillium
2316 Posts

@Debbie5 - sorry you are having a really hard time right now. You can start by telling us the most difficult part or the easier part first. How are you feeling?

There is always a light at the end of the dark tunnel. Even if you don’t see it yet - know that it is there for you.

We are always here to talk to you. You can talk to us any time of day or night. We will walk with you through this.

Big warm hug❤️‍🩹

Trillium

Skye2
303 Posts

@Debbie5
Hi Debbie

If you’re able to share your situation, maybe we can help! I had kidney cancer 2.5 years ago, and had it removed. I’m just getting over breast cancer now. If I can answer any questions for you, I’m happy to. Lots of people here willing to help, listen and support you.

Sue

halfass
26 Posts

@Debbie5 When you are ready, your thoughts will collect and you'll know what to say.

Debbie5
18 Posts

Ok I'm 64, and waiting for another Dr, to take over, I've been followed for a few years now, on suspect masse on kidney, and now it's growing and my urologist said that there is still 50/50 chances it's cancer, and is sending me to another Dr who does operations by robot, and all sorts of images and thoughts flash in my mind, and I am supposed to go on a trip with my girls (daughters) in punta Cana for the new year, it would be the only occasion I could go with my girls, and don't want to disappoint them , but now it scares me more,

Debbie5
18 Posts

Have no knowledge about robotic operation, wondering if anyone here had it done, haven't told my kids of the latest news,

Debbie5
18 Posts

And what about work? Rent and bills still have to be paid, I'm living on my own since July,

Thanks for all of your support! Looking forward to read your answers

Whitelilies
2656 Posts

@Debbie5 Bonjour/Hello Debbie!

You took a terrific step forward, and thank you for sharing with us, a bit more, about what is difficult for you. So; right now, “nothing is confirmed”……One Dr said 50-50 chance it is cancer…..but now; things are on hold. Why not take a lovely vacation with your daughters?? Seems like a perfect timing…..just do it…..If appointments pile up/begin…..you will be re energized to attend to them all. Perhaps travel “sooner” than later…ie avoid the mad Christmas Rush/peak travel times…..

Yes rent/bills must be paid…..etc…..whatever is ahead (PERHAPS it is cancer…PERHAPS you get treatment, you will be carrying on…..and able to pay, all your bills.)

Use this “open time”, for you! Oui, pour vous!! Get outdoors….de clutter a room, donate to a local charity…..cook some favourite dishes for the Holidays…..invite your daughters over to watch a movie….

Please/S.V.P. do not check on Dr Google….it is outdated, and does not know your case-file.

We are all here, to support you Debbie! Nous sommes ici pour toi!

Whitelilies

#we are here to support

Debbie5
18 Posts

@Skye2 hi, thank you for answering, and sorry you are going through another one, and wish you the best of luck,.

would like to know how your surgery went, and was it by robot, did they remove your kidney, any information about that surgery, i will be grateful, how long did your recovery last? Thank you very much xx

Cynthia Mac
4209 Posts
Debbie5‍ , If I recall correctly, Skye2‍ is also in the medical field. I’m no nurse, but I don’t think robotic surgery is anything to be concerned about. As I understand it, they use robotic technology to make the surgery less invasive. Rather than having to do longer incisions so they can get “right in there” they have cameras and small devices that can go in and do what needs to be done. I’ve had laparoscopic surgery done, and a lot of lung surgery is done with something called VATS (video-assisted thoracic surgery) - That’s how they did my Dad’s lung surgery.

Part of the reason they do this is to reduce the amount of time it takes for the body to heal.

I hope this helps you with your concerns.
Raven
41 Posts

@Debbie5
I had robotic surgery to have my uterus and ovaries removed. It was not available in my city so I went to Montreal. All I can say I was very grateful to have had it. It is so much less invasive (5 tiny cuts that you can't even see after a few months), fast recovery, less pain, less complications. The only reason I could not go home the same day, was because I was nauseous from the anesthetic, but the next day I went home, and hardly had any pain. I was pretty much back to normal after 2 weeks. If you are offered this, it is a privilege! I wish you all the best.

Debbie5
18 Posts

@Cynthia Mac thank you, i appreciate it 😉

Debbie5
18 Posts

@Raven WOW very interesting, thank you for sharing xx

Skye2
303 Posts

@Debbie5
Hi!

…yes, I am an OR nurse, as well as a breast cancer and kidney cancer survivor!

It wasn’t “robotic” surgery per se, (although we do robotic surgery for some procedures). I’m wondering if you are confusing “robotic” with “laparoscopic“?

Laparoscopic means they use small punctures where they insert sleeves to access the abdomen, and the instruments go through the sleeves to do the surgery (held by the surgeon) While a camera inserted through one of the sleeves allows everyone in the room to see the procedure on a tv screen.

I had my entire kidney removed - done laparoscopically. They just make about a 3” incision to remove it from the abdomen at the end. (You can also have just the tumour removed if it’s feasible- in an accessible position, and small enough).

I was off work for 10 weeks, and was warned I would feel “tired” for about 6 months, which I was!

I went for walks daily, and was instructed not to lift anything for a number of weeks.

I had minimal pain following the surgery, and yes! The recovery is much faster if you have it done this way as opposed to an open incision procedure where the incision is quite large and they have to cut through a lot of muscle to access the kidney.

I hope this helps! I have no restrictions at all now, other than I’m more diligent in drinking water and keeping my remaining kidney hydrated, I avoid NSAID medications like ibuprofen, aleave, Advil, naproxen as they are all hard on the kidneys. I have a follow up scan once yearly to make sure everything is ok and I’m doing well!

Happy to answer any other questions you might have!

thanks @Cynthia Mac for tagging me!

Sue

Nicky01
311 Posts

@Debbie5 Hello and welcome to this caring community. So glad you found us so we can try to help any way we can!
I had robotic surgery for lung cancer in 2020 so the cancer was removed along with my upper lung lobe. So it means that instead of having a 6 inches incision and a long recovery I had two 1 inch incisions one incision is used to insert a camera so the surgeon can see what’s going on inside and what he is doing and the second incision is used for the tools they work with. I was home three days later and I was even able to cook dinner myself. The only thing I could not do really was the vacuuming. Pain was minimal and the surgery by robotic is so less invasive and recovery is much faster, I never regretted having it done that way. I hope that put your mind at ease and like others have mentioned if there is any way you can make that trip with your girls do it, take that time to recharge your batteries and energy for what might be coming….50/50 does not mean it is cancer…it is just a maybe. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and if you feel up to it…keep us updated we all care and want to help.🙏🙏🙏

Nicky

Raven
41 Posts

@Debbie5
Yes, if you can, go with your girls! i went on a dream trip I had planned for 2 years (not knowing I had cancer) just before my surgery , and it was the best thing ever! Grap special moments when you can!

Debbie5
18 Posts

@Skye2thank you soooo much xx

Debbie5
18 Posts

@Nicky01thank you very much

Debbie5
18 Posts
Hi, I'm really scared of the operation, thinking they will open and close, i ache from head to toe, sometimes the pain wakes me up, mostly my legs and joints, does anyone change their eating habits, I've heard of starving the cancer from all sugars, or certain foods that fight cancer, i personally don't believe it but hoping it could help,
thank you soooo much for listening and the feedbacks, xx
ACH2015
2484 Posts

@Debbie5

Hi Debbie, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to eat a healthy and balanced diet. I found a resource from the Canadian Cancer Society that I'd like to share with you:

https://cdn.cancer.ca/-/media/files/cancer-information/resources/publications/eating-well-when-you-have-cancer/32062-eating-well-when-you-have-cancer-en.pdf?rev=e86f9bec22a34b0899ed85e2e4c513c1&hash=84F81D27F4C9ED1875C2389739196B10&_gl=1*16jdmha*_ga*MTM1NjI2MDM0OS4xNjY5MTI4Njky*_ga_23YMKBE2C3*MTY2OTEyODY5MS4xLjEuMTY2OTEyODc1Ny41NC4wLjA.

Lots of good information and suggestions to help keep us food healthy.

Keep well

ACH2015

Debbie5
18 Posts

@ACH2015 thank you very much, it was so easy to download and save it to read slowly, ♥️

bill2022
9 Posts

@Debbie5
Hi Debbie5. Following through the posts here, just wanted to share that I had kidney cancer and had my left kidney removed May 31 of this year after a couple of biopsies prior to the surgery. The surgery was done laporscopically and I made the decision to have the entire kidney removed rather than a partial due to the potential risks given that the tumour was in the middle of the kidney. The surgery itself went well and I was out of the hospital after one night. The first couple of days were painful and uncomfortable but the improvement was very quick (I didnt need any pain medication after leaving the hospital). I was up and about, walking immediately and recovery went very well. No heavy lifting for six weeks but after the six week mark, my surgeon said to resume all normal activities. I did prepare for the surgery by ensuring a “good” diet with exercise, rest, and no alcohol and I am maintaining a healthy diet with exercise post surgery (Ive also decided to completely cut alcohol). I do attribute the quick recovery to that. Easier said than done, but try not to worry too much about it. You will get over this fairly quickly. My advice (from my experience) is to prepare for the surgery with a good diet, exercise, rest, etc. and do the same after surgery. Of course, at least during the first six weeks, take it easy, give your body time to rest, and don't lift anything heavy!!

Wishing you all the best!

Raven
41 Posts

@Debbie5
It is normal to have fear. I was always about health prevention just so to not need this ever. But life does what it wants. Fear is exhausting. I am also 64 and have three adult children who manage quite well. Not sure what happened but I became quite zen about it and thought “what will be, will be” and actually the current medical system is amazing in terms of operations. Less so to treat chronic disease. So I had peace with it, even considered myself lucky to be living in Canada and be operated on in a state of the art hospital. This was my best chance. You need some loving care afterwards, so that would be important, to have support while you recover. I do believe in eating healthy and avoiding refined sugars (I am happy I dislike sweets already). Less red meat or none, many veggies and fruit, olive oil. I took a medical mushroom supplement to maintain my immune system while going through the whole process. But all this may be different if for someone who needs chemo etc, so the best thing is to talk to your doctor.

Liz2000
25 Posts
Hi! I thinking you’re referring to intermediate fasting.It’s quite interesting and it makes a lot of sense. Just want to make sure this is my humble opinion and by no means I’m implying is good or recommend for everyone.
I have been doing it for about a year now due to diabetes and it helps keeping the numbers down. But at the end of May, was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was very difficult to continue with the intermediate fasting because I’m a stress eater! But still the cancer didn’t grow. Had a double mastectomy and back on the intermediate fasting full fledged! If you think about it, it makes sense because you’re making your body feed from the “extra” we have, which cancer doesn’t. So yes, we can say “we starve the cancer and it can’t grow. I suggest for you to talk to a nutritionist and he/she can show you how to do it properly and not just starve yourself and depleat your body from essential nutrients.
Best of luck and keep your chin up!
Big hug!
Cynthia Mac
4209 Posts

@Debbie5 the “starving cancer from sugars” legend appears to have stemmed from some studies done about 12-15 years ago. As far as I know they have since been debunked, or at least refuted. While a lot of high sucrose foods aren't good for us, I doubt an odd popsicle is going to make a huge difference.

Debbie5
18 Posts

Had a few couple of hard days but today my moral is better, but have been wondering with the new scan technology today what are the chances of opening me up and seeing it's too far gone and just closes me up, like we used to hear , how percise are the scan's today?

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