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Stage IV Breast Cancer
1 Posts
My sister is seeing her oncologist for the first time tomorrow. I’m wondering if anyone can help me to understand what will be discussed and how to prepare emotionally to give support. This is overwhelming for us all.
7 Replies
2342 Posts

@Socki Hello Socki and welcome from NS! So glad you reached out to us. I am sorry, to hear of the diagnosis of your sister….what a loving sister you are; to offer her support, and more…..

Soon other members will chime in, and respond to your question/regarding meeting the Oncologist…..

It is truly, overwhelming….for the entire family…..I am sure she feels your love and support…..just “be there” for her….simple things…..hold hands…..listen…..watch TV together….follow her lead; ASK what you can help with?

Can you attend this appt tomorrow? Can you be the note-taker?

Let us support you both…..




1168 Posts


good morning….and thank you for your post. your sister is lucky to have you in her corner.

you mention stage IV, but not much else, so I would guess that this appointment today is to discuss the various types of treatment for your sis.
she will probably be given lots of information in a very short period of time.

if she is allowed to bring someone with her, that would be a great support for her.
an extra set of ears, and/or a note taker as @Whitelilies mentions is such a help.

let us know how we can support you as a caregiver. it is an exhausting, yet so important, role.

good luck to your sissy today.

#stageIV #brestcancer #familysupport #newdiagnosis

122 Posts
Hi Socki‍ ,

Im sorry for the reason you are here. This is a very warm and lovely community. We are here to support you while you support your sister.

Your support will mean the world to her. Just being by her side and listening can be a big relief. Not offering stories of others with cancer and also not offering ideas of ‘special’ treatments is also good. (Note the not, lol.)

She might need an advocate, someone to fight for her when she’s too overwhelmed. And/or she might need someone to drive her to appointments or go grocery shopping or help around the house.

If you are the main support person, think of how you will get support for yourself. She can’t do this alone and neither can you. Ask about all the services your area can offer. And at some point think about counselling if you are feeling overwhelmed or talk about this with a good friend.

There’s a great podcast out there called The Waiting Room Revolution. Great info in the first season.

Keep us posted and we will help as much as we can.

122 Posts

Also (I was thinking of you on my walk): good on you for wanting to help out. Your sister is lucky to have you!!

And be as open and honest with yourself and with her as to what you can handle and what you can’t.

And I’ll stop now. 😊

11 Posts


hi I am glad u are joining the community support..they have been of great assistance to me this year on my cancer journey. When I was first diagnosed it was surreal, and my sisters were my backbone thru every step of the way. They helped me find this site, they researched cancer centres parking, one of them came to every appointment and took notes and reminded me of all the questions about meds, treatments, etc that I mentioned I wanted to ask. Most importantly they made me laugh, handed me a Kleenex when I needed a good cry, they iced my feet during chemo, they walked with me after treatments, filled my fridge with muffins and soup, did my laundry and helped me pick out wigs online, and checked every morning online to see how my nights were..in other words they were my everything and this journey was manageable because of family..wishing you and your sister the very best, and just remember there are a whole group of wonderful people on this site you can ask and get truthful accurate answers..do not search google..the scenarios are frightful

117 Posts


Thank you for being there for your sister. Her journey will be onerous but so will yours. I’m always in awe of the people in my life who chose to take this path with me. I didn’t have a choice but they did. My sister is one of my strongest supporters and the only one I can totally fall apart with. I gave her that special role and I’m sure there are times she curses me for it. Cradle to Grave and all that. 😊
The best supports really have been those willing to listen without judgement. Some of the places your mind goes are scary and to have a companion in those dark times is like a life jacket.
Good luck on her appointment today. I have had my sister on speakerphone with some of my appointments that she was not able to be there in person.

2342 Posts

@Socki Hello…..if you are comfortable to share, how did the appt go today, for your sister, seeing her Oncologist, for the first time?



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