Log in or Register to participate in these discussions

January 2021 New members

Re: January 2021 New members

Posted by Brighty on Jan 18, 2021 10:33 pm

Oh boy does your situation sound all so familiar to me Cec76‍ !!!! my fiance I don't think ever saw a doctor in his entire life.   Didn't even up date his health card!  When he first got cancer symptoms I begged him to go to a doctor and it took me about 5 months for me to get him to finally go!    Then all we did that year was go to doctors and appointment.   And boy did that take a toll on both our mental healths.     My guy was very very private.    Wouldn't talk to anyone, would see anyone.    Got mad at me when I came on this site for support too.   But I couldn't keep it in, it was way too much for me to bare alone.   I tried to get him to see the oncology social worker.   I wanted him to talk to someone so bad,and I even snuck her in during his chemo.   He refused to talk to her!      I guess if a guy is going to be private and keeping feelings in all his life, he is not suddenly going to do it now.    I had to learn that, and to back off as much as it killed me.     So I took advantage of all the help...........even if he refused, I had to do it for myself and my sanity.    ..I talked to the social worker at the cancer clinic, I had my own one too at the hospital in the mental health section.        The social workers were very kind to me.  I cried so many tears I could have filled all the oceans.        One day a a time is a great matra, ......it was kind of mine too....... until it became one MINUTE at a time.    Some moments I'd be fine and the next moment I'd burst into tears.   This would happen a zillion times in the course of a single day.     My emotions were so unpredictable.  It was such a wild ride and they don't call it emotional roller coaster for nothing.    Please take care of yourself.     Do it for you, even if he won't talk to anyone, you do it....personally I found it too much to bear all alone.      It's a lot and it's shocking..    It's very hard to process.   You life is normal one moment and the next it it turned upside down.      I feel for you, it is very very difficult.    We are here to listen and we get it.    
Help is out there. All you have to do is reach out.