Posted by VioletFlower on Jun 18, 2020 10:30 am
Im so sorry for the loss of your beloved dog and the sudden loss of your dear wife. How hard that must be for you. I hope the lump is nothing more than a minor problem.
You are definitely not alone here on this website.
May you find some peace during your day.
Posted by AA-Ron on Jun 18, 2020 8:28 pm
My name is Aaron and my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer last May.
The past year has been has been difficult as the cancer has spread to her lungs, pancreas, bladder and it doesn't seem to stopping. She looks sick and it's so hard to standby and watch.
She just started a more aggressive chemo treatment today. She's been told that a cure is unlikely and the cancer will eventually take her life.
My mom is my best friend and I'm afraid of a lot things:
- life without her.
- Watching her suffer in pain
- Watching her die
Thank you for reading my post.
Posted by Brighty on Jun 18, 2020 9:55 pm
Posted by Peterpatch on Jun 18, 2020 9:56 pm
Posted by Essjay on Jun 19, 2020 7:56 am
Have you considered counselling? It is available to family as well as cancer patients from most cancer centres. I see you are in Alberta, so I’m going to tag Runner Girl and CentralAB to see if they know what’s available there, but you can also call the Cancer Society Information Service 1-888-939-3333 and they will surely be able to help you.
I encourage you to take a look round the site and check out the forums. We have one for caregivers and there is a forum on ovarian cancer
Im tagging Elsie13 who has had treatment for ovarian cancer too.
You will find this community compassionate and willing to help - we are all current or past patients or caregivers. It’s a safe space to ask questions and to say what you are thinking. I hope between us we can help you.
best wishes to your family. Essjay
Posted by Cynthia Mac on Jun 19, 2020 8:10 am
It’s hard to think of life without them, but to me, it’s harder to see them in pain.
Depending on your relationship, you might want to have the “hard conversations” with your Mom. I became dad’s caregiver when he was diagnosed with his cancer just 2 months after mom passed. Mom had taken care of all their affairs, so I knew long ago what Dad’s wishes were. When I noticed some decrease in Dad’s condition (memory issues), I thought, “I should have a discussion with him about MAID” (medically assisted death), but he began to have stroke-like symptoms and ended up admitted to hospital before the conversation happened.
Your conversation doesn’t have to go that far, but I think you’ll be able to accept her situation better if you can get great clarity about what her own wishes are. I assure you, knowing this will cause a lot less fear, worry, and/or self-doubt when the time comes that she’s ready to let go - even if you’re not. I learned that just yesterday.
Think about what your Mom has meant to you, the kind of life she’s had, and how she would want you to be living as you and she go on this path. Would she want you weighed down with uncertainty, or would she want you to go through this with the knowledge you need to carry out her wishes?
We’re going to be weighed down with uncertainty anyway, but if we know about the plan in place, it can help us do the other things - make memories, help her live fully while she can, and take care of ourselves.
We’re here for you, so reach out whenever you need.
Posted by Runner Girl on Jun 19, 2020 8:15 am
The Tom Baker Cancer Centre has a Psychosocial Oncology department to provide:
Services to help patients and their families cope with the emotional, psychological and social stresses that often surface as a result of cancer and its treatment.
The Department of Psychosocial Resources, through a team of trained professionals in psychiatry, psychology and social work, help patients and their families cope with the emotional, psychological and social stresses that often surface as a result of cancer and its treatment. The team is available to patients from the moment of diagnosis onward.
The phone number is 4033553207
I'm sorry for your mom's diagnosis and hopeful that this next round of chemo is helpful.
Thanks Essjay for tagging me.
Posted by Elsie13 on Jun 19, 2020 10:38 am
Glad to see that Runner Girl and Essjay have connected with you. There are some good suggestions, I think, like the Caregivers and Ovarian forums. And the Psychosocial Department.
Ovarian cancer is sometimes called the 'disease that whispers.' The symptoms can be fairly mild for a while, and the person doesn't realize what's happening. I thought I had irritable bowel syndrome, or maybe I just needed to improve my diet. Then, nasty surprise - I had large ovarian cysts.
I hope you continue to get help from all around cancerconnection.
Posted by Elsie13 on Jun 19, 2020 10:56 am
Posted by VioletFlower on Jun 19, 2020 11:05 am
My sons name is Aaron too. So glad you posted and sorry you have been travelling this painful road of grief. My mom was in palliative care with a sudden brain infection for 6 days. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I did find comfort in being there with her during this time of passing and even though It was hard to come to terms with the fact I would never see her or speak to her again I gained a deeper understanding of the cycles of life. There is birth with all of its emotions and there is death with all of its emotions and every one of us go through this.
I was grateful to have had both of my parents until they were in there 80’s and 90’s. It was not until my fifties that I had my first thoughts that at some point they would die. It is hard to come to terms with not having my parents to turn to the rest of my life.
Best wishes for your family.
Posted by Rayline on Jun 19, 2020 11:48 pm
Posted by pamnbella on Jun 24, 2020 11:13 am
I have a lot of help from my family, especially my parents during this time, so that is helping quite a bit. I'm a cat mom to one furbaby, a cat, Bella. Currently I do not work so I pass a lot of my time by watching TV, listening to music, reading and relaxing with my parents.
Posted by orchid*lover* on Jun 30, 2020 4:43 pm
Thank you for this forum and what a warm welcome as I posted in a different area under breast cancer yesterday. I have been struggling with my emotions since I completed 12 chemo sessions and awaiting radiation treatments. The Paclitaxel was ok until about the last 2 treatments then I was feeling pretty fatigued and scalp acne....now my hair is starting to come back but very tired of looking in the mirror at Benjamin Buttons and doesn’t take anything sometimes to get me in tears. The social worker at the chemo clinic gave me this link to connect with others in the same situation and I’m so happy I did!! Thank you thank you all!!❤️
Posted by Lianne_adminCCS on Jun 30, 2020 6:11 pm
It is great to have the support of our family and friends but often they just don't understand like those who are walking the same path do.
Posted by Cynthia Mac on Jul 1, 2020 7:42 am
I’m a huge fan of Louise Hay (SO many people on this forum know this now...). She says that we should smile at our reflection every time we look in a mirror, so I recommend that the next time “Miss Benjamin Buttons” starts to well up, smile at her and remember to give her all the love she deserves.
Search all discussions