Oh
LucyK ,
You just wrote my life story. I'm so sorry. You are not alone. I've been thru pretty much the same thing as you. There is, in many cities, a ride service with volunteers taking cancer patients to their appointments and then back home. Please contact your cancer centre and speak with a social worker who can enlighten you to all of the services they have available. What city are you in?
My story is alot like yours. We had issues, but nothing was insurmountable. Just after Christmas 2017 his step father passed away, he flew out to Ontario for a week, never asked me to accompany. Two weeks later in January, 2018 my mom died suddenly and unexpectedly. As her executor I suddenly had a second job and alot of things I had to handle. Fortunately I think mom was watching from above because everything happened so quickly and easily. Two months after she passed my doctor found my breast lumps. For my biopsy I was told I needed a driver, the fiance said he'd already taken too much time from work, so I had my friend Laura go with me. Surprisingly he showed up just before they called me in, I told the two of them they could duke it out to see who was taking me home after. When I was given my results by my doctor the fiance was late arriving. In the parking lot after I offered him an out, told him I was fighting this and if he wanted to walk go now. He said he was Team Gayle and we'd fight this together. I was relieved but that didn't last long. I had my lumpectomy on May 23rd and went back to work the following Monday. On June 16th I ran a half marathon, I'd been training for months and wasn't going to let cancer stop me. Right after this he told me he wanted to go on a trip, that he was stressed out. Like you I'm shocked, you're stressed out - I have the cancer! I checked with my doctor and they would not clear me to fly. I told the fiance this and suggested we stick within Alberta and drive somewhere. To this I was told he was suicidal and needed a break and was going to Las Vegas for a week. Off he went. When he returned he tried to guilt trip me into feeling sorry for him because he went alone. In July, 2018, the weekend before I started chemo he moved me into the spare bedroom. This came with a variety of excuses, none of which made sense to me. He took me for my chemo appointments, sat there while I had chemo (distracted on his phone or with talking to the cute nurses), then took me home and left. When I had bad side effects he brushed them off as nothing. A week after my 3rd chemo he told me to move out of his house by month end. We talked and I thought we had resolved the issues. He took issue with the radiation doctor examining me and that was the last appointment he went to with me. Told me I could go myself now. And so I did. I drove myself to and from the remainder of my appointments. On May 2, 2019 at 4 in the morning he told me I needed to move out and I said sure. I found a place, told him I had and he said he didn't want me to go. 2 weeks later when nothing had changed I tried to talk to him, he started shouting at me. I couldn't help myself, I started laughing at him, and told him I'd move asap. I lost the first place, but quickly found another, that I liked even better than the first. I moved in August and couldn't be happier to be away from that toxic man.
Please know that it is NOT YOU. This is all on him. I know you're hurt, but you are strong, you've fought cancer. Let's talk more, I think I can help you thru this.
Runner Girl