Posted by Lacey_adminCCS on Mar 14, 2019 2:54 pm
I wanted to send out a warm welcome on behalf of our community to our new members. Please take a second to say hello below by clicking the 'reply' button. This is a safe place to share, vent, and connect with people who get it.
Icebreaker: How did you choose your username?
Posted by CJohnson on Mar 14, 2019 5:11 pm
Posted by Brighty on Mar 14, 2019 6:25 pm
Posted by ashcon on Mar 14, 2019 7:05 pm
Welcome to this community and, as Brighty says, you will find a lot of support, listening ears, and tips from those who have walked this path - you are not alone. 1.5 years ago I was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer and even though it's a different kind of cancer than what you have, cancer is cancer and we all know the overwhelming fear and sense of loss of control.
Brighty has shared with you some helpful tips and some ladies to connect with on this site. You may also want to check out the resources available under cancer.ca/publications
Like you, I was most worried about how my two daughters would handle the news, after I finally accepted the news myself, and they are adults in their 20's! Funny how our first thoughts after getting over the initial shock is to worry about how our loved ones will handle the news.
The good news is that there are many resources available to your family members and support network. Take advantage of them.
One of the key questions to ask your doctor(s) right away - aside from the details of your cancer and treatment plan - is for assistance in understanding what resources are available to you. Dealing with cancer is a 'whole body & mind" experience.
You may find this information helpful - I know I did.: Talking to Children About Your Cancer
How old are your children?
Posted by CJohnson on Mar 14, 2019 9:33 pm
Posted by christines on Mar 14, 2019 9:50 pm
i dont understand why i am still suffering / cant talk well / cant swallow the size of a pea/ coughing up mucus when i sip a drink because my windpipe wont close and some fliud get down into my lungs is anyone epxeriencing this our a similar condition
Posted by Aries on Mar 14, 2019 10:17 pm
Welcome to this great community. Like you I have been very recently diagnosed - in fact just today had an appointment to confirm all my test results. I am anticipating to start chemo and radiation within days but not yet confirmed.
It is scary to hear the words "you have cancer" - I have stage 4 colorectal cancer mets to my liver. I had no idea this was even growing in me, apparently it takes years to get to this stage. If only our immune systems could pick up the clues sooner!
My only advice to you so far is try and be as positive thinking as you can, believe you can fight this and win; occupy yourself with things you love to do and visualize the future to be as you always planned it to be. Other than that, ask lots of questions of your medical team, start a notebook so you can keep track of answers and surround yourself with people you can lean on and people who love you.
And now you have all of us on this great community - I have found so much support and advice already on there - it's truly amazing!
All the best to you and keep us posted!
Posted by Minus2 on Mar 15, 2019 8:02 am
Welcome to cancer connection and this wonderful group of supporters. I was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer in May 2016 at age 54. My children were 20 ad 22 and they both handled things very differently. One thing they asked me to do was have all calls from the hospital directed to my cell phone instead of the home phone number; my daughter found the initial activity and volume of communication around my diagnosis to be overwhelming and it fuelled her anxiety. By having the calls come to my private line and voicemail, she got a bit of a break and some much needed distance. Both kids were awesome about stepping up and helping around the house and helping me with appointments and stuff where needed.
Brighty has already given you some great ideas regarding appointments & questions and the importance of distractions. She was totally right - once you have a plan, you will feel more proactive and that does a lot to settle your mind. ff you can focus on today instead of the long term, it helps a lot as well. There is something to be said for living in the moment! I would also recommend you consider asking for copies of all test results, scans, and pathology reports as information is provided. The appointments can be very overwhelming with information and emotion, so having the paperwork to refer to at home where things are quieter can be helpful.
Wishing you well as you navigate this new world. Keep us up to date on how your appointments go and trust in yourself and your boys that you all have the strength to manage this.
Posted by JenDavid on Mar 15, 2019 9:11 am
Hang in there, take it one day at at time and take all the support, from all corners, that you can!
Posted by LPPK on Mar 15, 2019 11:16 am
So, when I had a call back for a mammogram 7 years later I put them in the information loop right from the beginning. I found not having to keep it a secret helped to lessen my anxiety.. One of my daughters went with my husband and I to all surgery and oncology appointments. My other daughter and son who live farther away were in regular contact and I found that in my case "a shared worry is a burdened halved".
Posted by Hydref on Mar 17, 2019 1:44 pm
Posted by jens on Mar 17, 2019 3:08 pm
Posted by Minus2 on Mar 17, 2019 3:30 pm
I am sorry to hear of your mom's diagnosis. It's a really frightening time for all of you and I gather from your post, somewhat frustrating as well. My dad had a lung cancer diagnosis when he was 66 years old and he pretty much refused to follow any of the Dr.'s advice. He actually lied to the Dr.'s about a number of things in order to be discharged from hospital. I was so angry with him and with my mom because she wasn't speaking up either. Now that a number of years have passed and I am older and hopefully wiser about him and who he was as a person, not just my dad, I kind of get it. His own father passed away from a heart attack at age 63. My dad said that every day past the age of 63 was a gift and he was grateful for them, but he was going to live the way he wanted. And I think that when we have news that is really difficult to face, we hang on tightly to the familiar and we resist change, even small changes that are for our benefit. At the end of the day, we can't make choices for our family - they are in the driver's seat - all we can do is not enable the negative stuff. But it's really hard. It may be worth a conversation with your mom to see why she is resisting dietary changes? Could be it's just too much effort to learn new ways right now, she has enough on her plate. Cancer is a very demanding word - it takes up way more head space and time than I ever knew - until I had my own diagnosis. Wishing you all well and strength as you navigate this new world.
Posted by RickG on Mar 17, 2019 5:12 pm
Posted by LPPK on Mar 17, 2019 5:37 pm
Some Canadian Cancer Society booklets that you might find helpful are; Bladder Cancer Understanding your diagnosis, Coping When You Have Cancer, Eating Well When You Have Cancer, Listen First and 9 other ways to support someone with cancer,
I send good wishes to you as Judy starts here chemo tomorrow
One thing that I and many others have found invaluable during our cancer journey was the blessing of family/friend support. Do you have anyone who can help with the driving to/from treatments and appointments?
Posted by Elsie13 on Mar 17, 2019 5:51 pm
Hydref, yes, waiting is the worst. Once your doctor tells you the treatment plan, you will likely feel better about things. MDM13, NED for over 5 years! Wonderful!
There are some ovarian cancer discussions if you would like to take a look: https://cancerconnection.ca/discussions/viewcategory/72
Perhaps Ingrid_CanOn , princessmaura and sundog will say hello.
Posted by ashcon on Mar 17, 2019 7:38 pm
MDM13 Congratulations on being NED for 5.5 years! What brings you to this site at this time?
jens - You've got some wise words from Minus2 . My mother was much the same way as your mother seems to be. As Minus2 indicates, your head goes to some very unchartered territory when you hear you have cancer, and you really need nothing but support and listening as you try to understand and absorb it.
RickG Thank you for you kind words. Someone on this site once said that they wished people not yet affected by cancer read through all the posts and discussions so that they would be better prepared for their own diagnosis, or the diagnosis of a loved one, should that day come.
Prayers to you and your beautiful Bride (I LOVE that you still call her that, after all this time.) and best wished for the start of chemo tomorrow. I look forward to reading more of your posts, and please pass on my heartfelt wishes to Judy.