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Just had the funeral for my wife yesterday

Just had the funeral for my wife yesterday

Posted by vince on Oct 19, 2018 9:49 pm

Im not really sure what I am doing here, My Beautiful wife just passed away six days ago and I am hurting so much..I miss her so much and I find a lot of the time I am driving around thinking of her...I am 42 and I feel only having been with her for three and a half years is such bullsh**!!!! I try to make peace with the fact that this was the happiest that we have been,,,it's hard thought...we were meant to be, we were soul mates....I feel so lonely, it's so difficult...

Re: Just had the funeral for my wife yesterday

Posted by Brighty on Oct 19, 2018 10:21 pm

vince‍  I feel your pain.     I just lost my fiance to cancer.   He was 42.     I'm going to send u a longer message from my computer  when I get home.. I'm on my phone now.  

Re: Just had the funeral for my wife yesterday

Posted by vince on Oct 19, 2018 10:24 pm

thank you. It is certainly difficult to deal with..
how long were you together..

Re: Just had the funeral for my wife yesterday

Posted by Brighty on Oct 19, 2018 10:52 pm

vince‍  I was also with him for 3 and a half years.   January would have been 4.   I'm soooo sorry about your wife.     Was it cancer?    You didn't mention if it was cancer related, but I'm guessing it must have been since you are on cancer connection.       As I was reading your message I was doing the exact same thing, driving around listening to sad music and crying because I miss him so much.          What province do you live in?       Would you consider going for grief councelling?   I'm going and it's really helping me.      Do you have a good support network of family and friends?     Were you seeing a councellor through the cancer ordeal?     Did he/she give you any coping strategies?    I wish you found cancerconnection sooner so we could have supported you, but I'm glad you are here now so we can support you through the grieving process.    I lost my fiancé in June to Esophegeal cancer.    I am 44 and he was 42.     He was also my soul mate, the only man I ever loved..     We had our whole wedding planned, paid for, and then boom, the cancer bomb dropped.        Maybe we can help each other get through this horrible time.        Can you give me more info?   Maybe I can find you greif councelling in your area.     If you don't feel comfortable posting personal stuff you can send me a private message.        

Re: Just had the funeral for my wife yesterday

Posted by vince on Oct 19, 2018 10:54 pm

I have no idea how to send a private message? If you sent me one will my response stay private

Re: Just had the funeral for my wife yesterday

Posted by Brighty on Oct 19, 2018 11:18 pm

vince‍ click on "Dashboard" Then Inbox.    Then use the @  button and start typing my user name.    Then it will say "send message"    and it will be private.  I hope I described it properly.  I'm bad with technology.      

Re: Just had the funeral for my wife yesterday

Posted by Brighty on Oct 19, 2018 11:19 pm

vince‍  sorry, it's dashboard, then my messages.      

Re: Just had the funeral for my wife yesterday

Posted by Cynthia Mac on Oct 20, 2018 9:26 am

Hi, vince‍ 

I am sorry for your loss. Your love for your wife shines through in all your posts. (I read the one on the other thread, too.)

Brighty‍   has given you some good suggestions for coping with grief. 

I hope you’ll find a way for the happy memories of your time together to lift up your spirits.

Re: Just had the funeral for my wife yesterday

Posted by ACH2015 on Oct 20, 2018 9:54 am

vince‍ 

I am very sorry for the loss of your wife and soul mate.

You have already received good information from Brighty‍.

When my father died of brain cancer, I found a bereavement support group for my mother. It helped my mom realize that she is not alone in her situation, and provided different outlooks and coping strategies to help get through the grieving process. It is a difficult path, and talking and sharing your feelings will certainly help you. When you are ready, this may be something to consider. Everyone in their own time.

I have found some links for you from the Canadian Cancer Society. I hope they help you to get through this difficult time.

Don't isolate yourself, talk to friends, family, here on the site and know you aren't alone.

I would also like to suggest you join the group here "Coping with Grief". Simply click on the Groups icon at the top of the page, and select Coping with Grief". 

http://www.cancer.ca/en/cancer-information/cancer-journey/advanced-cancer/grief-bereavement/?region=on

http://www.cancer.ca/en/support-and-services/support-services/find-services-in-your-area/?region=on

Keep well Vince.

ACH2015 - Andy.

Re: Just had the funeral for my wife yesterday

Posted by vince on Oct 20, 2018 10:12 am

We met in March 2015 and married may 2017

Re: Just had the funeral for my wife yesterday

Posted by jorola on Oct 20, 2018 6:20 pm

vince‍ there are never the right words a person can say that can ease your pain let alone take it away. I read your post and I can feel the pain pouring from it. I wish I could say/do more but just know I am truly so so sorry.

Re: Just had the funeral for my wife yesterday

Posted by vince on Oct 20, 2018 7:08 pm

Thank you very much. This is something I’m just gonna go through. I know I’ll figure it out one day but I know it will take a lot to get there

Re: Just had the funeral for my wife yesterday

Posted by Lianne_adminCCS on Oct 21, 2018 4:52 pm

vince‍ I wanted to take a minute to welcome you and express my sincere sympathy for the loss of your wife. As you have already witnessed, we have a lot of amazing members on here, of which many have replied on this thread. I hope you continue to reach out as you need.
I noticed too that you have already reached out to help someone else going through a similar situation. Because you have shared, you are already helping others as well.

Thinking of you and please know that we are all listening

Lianne