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The journey is coming to an end
gcomputes
39 Posts
My sister has been told chemo is no longer an option. The risk of infection is too great and her last days would be spent in hospital. They have advised her that she has 3-6 months left. She has fought for over 2 years now. She is looking forward to Christmas and my son and his girl friend are expecting a little girl in Feb. Jeanne says she hopes she can hold the baby. She may hang on till then. I am finding this so hard. We haven’t shared the time line with my Mum who is 91. Jeanne asked me to take her shopping for a dress for her funeral and has said what music she wants. It us is much harder to know before a person is going to pass. I pray she just goes to sleep one night and passes during the night.
10 Replies
Brighty
8442 Posts

@gcomputes im so sorry. I have been following your posts and your love for your sister knows no bounds. She fought so hard and I'm so sorry she is at this stage in her journey. I pray she gets to hold the baby… the way she has been fighting all along g, I just know she will. I wish you and your family peace as you try to cope with this news.

Boby1511
1037 Posts

@gcomputes

that is very sad. My heart goes out to your sister and family. I hope she’s not in too much pain.

Trillium
2008 Posts

Dear @gcomputes, I’m so sorry to hear about your sisters treatment mot working. Anticipatory grief is very hard. Many of us have been there and are here for you to lean on. May your family have some comfort during this difficult time.

Warm hugs

Trillium

Whitelilies
2272 Posts

@gcomputes Hello…..I am so sad, to hear, of this point, of the “journey”…..no better word, sorry, at this time. I am sad for your sister, and your family.

Sending you all, warmth and more….

Whitelilies

@gcomputes I was so sorry to read about your sister. Wonderful to know you are close enough to spend time being together being in each other’s company. I too am in the midst of anticipatory grief and and trying my best to practice living in our moments and enjoying all of our time together even in the simple and quiet things. Sending you warm thoughts that you will share heartfelt conversations, hugs and loving care for one another in the coming months. Please look after yourself and reach out to us for support, this is such an incredibly sad time for you and we will be here to help in whatever you need. And for your sister prayers that she gets the time to enjoy the wedding and the newborn snuggle 💛

Cynthia Mac
3872 Posts
gcomputes‍ - thank you for sharing. It IS hard.

It sounds as though your sister is handling her situation with much grace.

Having lost my mother suddenly, and my father over a period of time (we knew his lung cancer was aggressive, and when it metastasized in July 2019, kind of had a “heads’ up” that we didn’t have a lot more time), I can honestly say that our reaction to any passing can surprise us. I thought I’d be crushed when my mom died, but when she actually went, I wasn’t. But, I fell apart when Dad died, and didn’t expect that, either!

As you are finding out with your sister, it may be difficult now, but I think you will look back and find gratitude that you were able to help her through this. There’s comfort in knowing that you did and said everything you could.

Hard and all as it is, your sister is so very fortunate to have you there.
elle29
1207 Posts

Edited : I am so heartfelt sorry , that all this treatment has no other avenue to cure this pancreatic cancer . We often hear ends a life so quickly fighting this type of cancer , wondering why .

What I do not understand is why the Chemo is not reduced ? I will ask a friend here on CC named @Gus .

That Hospice aide , can assist her tenderly in her choices, like her dress or foods and family who remain by her side to alleviate anxiety of unknowns that she feels in her body . (I did not know this was a factor ; the risks for treatment to continue being susceptible to infection 😢 out weigh the benefit available ?)
Yes I pray 🙏 in pleasant thoughts and music warmly being held herself 🕊

@gcomputes

Thank you for taking the time to update our community. Many of us have been following your family's journey.

Your sister is so blessed to have someone to share her wishes with. When my father was given limited time he found comfort in communicating his wishes with us and arranging as many things as he could. We found comfort after his passing in knowing that the arrangements were just as he wanted.

We are here to listen and support you, as you listen to, and support your sister.

Some resources you might find helpful:

Advanced cancer | Canadian Cancer Society

Canadian Virtual Hospice

Sending hugs,

Lacey

@gcomputes

I remember those early posts well. The frantic struggles, the confusion and the slow realization of the importance of the time that we have. I had just lost my wife to pancreatic cancer and so my views were coloured by the rapidity with which my wife had died.

Even now as the journey comes to an end, there is an amazing acceptance in your words. What a privilege to be able to shop with your sister. Bittersweet I'm sure but so amazing that you can do that together. I found great comfort in my wife's final days of playing with her the tunes that she had picked out. Even now that playlist comes up for me in moments of remembering.

I listened the other day to a speaker talking about the importance of dignity at the end of life. It feels to me like you could have given that talk. There is so much understanding and love in what you have shared.

Thanks for sharing with us this part of the journey and know that we are here to walk with you in it.

Angus

Teddy74
11 Posts
I am so sorry to hear this. My mom is receiving chemo
for stomach with Mets to pancreas, they have started her with palliative supports. It is heartbreaking
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