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Hard time emotionally/mentally/physically
ABBYB
47 Posts
The first 3 rounds of treatment were manageable. I suffered but still bounced back and felt positive. This last round really did a number on me and has sucked all my joy. I'm so fatigued, my legs burn from walking. I tire easily, even getting dressed. Appetite hasnt bounced back so obviously that effects energy levels. It's like a ripple effect I have no control over. I don't like taking pills, never did. But I've used Imodium more than I care to mention. I havent been able to drink much water which I know is crucial. I try vitamin water, tea, juice.. every thing tastes metallic. And add to that neuropathy... Wow I did not sign up for any of this, but here I am... Ok drugs that feel like they are killing me but supposed to save my life. I don't want to fall into a depression. I still have 2 rounds to go ... I just want to get to the finish line. I had hoped I would never feel so down. But the past week has been so hard. Yes today I feel better than yesterday, and I'm over the hump. But knowing I have to do this all over again in 2 weeks sucks....I'm just venting, something I don't do often enough. I joined a FB Breast cancer page, it was too much. Every time I open my social media I'd read about the 1000's of women going thru the same as me and my heart breaks. Yes we are warriors, yes we are fighting, but fighting our own battle is hard. I had to leave..... Okay, I'm done for today. Thanks for listening. I don't really need any advice, just had to let it out. Thanks allđź’™
11 Replies
Whitelilies
1667 Posts

@ABBYB Hi……it is perfectly OK, to let it (all) out!

2 more to go…..keep that in your thoughts……it is hard……it all sucks…..I also, would not be able to read/see/media, on 1000s of others….on this journey……it can be a “handful”….and just when you are trying to stay afloat……you cant keep-on-reading…

Focus on you…….and just keep going!

Sending you positive vibes…..
Whitelilies

(time 2 laugh; I LIVE on Immodium…….AND Lomotil……if it ain't one end; it IS the other!)

#let it out

Boby1511
720 Posts

@ABBYB

hi there.

chemo sucks no getting around that. I feel for you.

have you considered home hydration? I found it really picked me up especially when you losing fluids with the diarrhea.

sending you best wishes.

ABBYB
47 Posts

@Boby1511 what is Home hydration

Boby1511
720 Posts

@ABBYB

Home nurses come into your home and hook you up to IV hydration. I got my IV part done at the hospital but the home nurses can do it too. Your connected to the bag which sits in this little pack sack which you can walk around with. Really did make me feel better.

Just ask your doc if your interested. Hard to keep the fluids in under treatment.

hugs

Dakley
19 Posts

@ABBYB I hear you girl! You & I seem to be running parallel situations. I think I may be 1 treatment ahead of you & like you #4 hit me like a ton of bricks. I was so fatigued, short of breath, leg pain, nothing tasted good & even drinking was still difficult. I may have to ask about that IV hydration, that has been hard for me not drinking enough. I dreaded #5 & yes again same annoying symptoms. They seem to be cumulative & lasting a bit longer, it really does suck but I have to drill it into my head that this will all be over soon, it’s the only way I can cope. As much as I can talk & relay what & how I’m feeling no people truly understand but the people in this community. Know we are all here for you & it will be over soon. Keep in touch!

ABBYB
47 Posts

Hi @Dakley aw I cried reading this. It's def been my most difficult stretch so far. 11 days post treatment and I'm finally feeling some what human today. Still can't eat much but forcing down what I can. I'm celebrating that I did my laundry yesterday, and today I vacuumed. All the things I took for granted before, are the most difficult tasks now. But thank you so much, I know I'm not alone and yes it could be worse. My kids high-5 me all the time and count down with me. Honestly that's what keeps me going. So today I'm going to embrace no running to toilet, and I'm still here. We can do this!! On a side note, did you notice any changes in skin, like darkening on hands? I ice my hands each round but some cuticles around my nails are still turning dark…. Im making notes notes of all these things for my next visit with the onco. Every just seemed to be extreme after this last round!!

Dakley
19 Posts

@ABBYB I would high five you too, your kids are awesome! I was nodding as I read about doing laundry & vacuuming, all the things that were easy tasks have become chores that can take half the day now. It normally takes a good 8-10 post chemo to start to feel good again. I haven’t had any skin issues, just really dry. When I have the docetaxel infusion the nurses put cold mitts & booties on me, I think that has saved me from having any of the numbness/tingling issues. Not sure if you are having that done. I have always had issues with easy bruising, it’s much worse now. I have a port & they found a clot so I am on a blood thinner so I have to watch any bleeding. I totally feel you when before all this sh*t happened I never went to the doctor, was on no meds, now I have a little collection of bottles on the counter & know how to get to all the various departments in the hospital like a boss! I will be thinking of you & sending you virtual high fives! You got this girl!

ABBYB
47 Posts

You have no idea how much this has cheered me up @Dakley I hope the last mile of your treatment goes quickly! And no other issues, just kick this cancer in the a$$!!! I've been saying that from the start, you can't stay, you jerk! Have a great rest of your day đź’—

Ineke
103 Posts

And let it out, you should! We are all here to support each other through the good, the bad and the ugly! Keep venting if it helps and we are here to listen and do whatever it takes to help you through this! Sending virtual hugs and prayers! đź’•

Runner Girl
2289 Posts

@ABBYB @Dakley

Here are some suggestions for coping with the metallic taste

https://www.verywellhealth.com/metallic-taste-during-chemotherapy-513891

I found I had more success eating when I took ginger capsules.

I craved salty foods so had a lot of pretzels and plain potato chips. I didn't care at that point, just needed to eat. I also craved spicy foods, like chili. Resumed healthy eating after chemo ended.

Runner Girl

Mammabear
226 Posts

The living kitchen cook book has some amazing recipes targeted to specific side effects of cancer treatment and recovery.

I also struggled with dehydration and used pedialite freezees or electrolytes tabs in water to help bring me back in line. That in turn helped the nausea. Try anything with high water concentration like watermelon or other fruit, cucumber. You don't have to drink your fluids.

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