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Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by Tamara12 on Jul 29, 2020 3:04 pm

Hello, my name is Tamara I am from Vancouver Island, BC I am 35years old and am a wife and mother of 3 kids. I love exercising and being the best version of myself I also LOVE my job as a registered nurse. Currently, I have been dealing with a lump I found in the shower in my right breast. I then got an ultrasound done and was asked to come back for more examination which I have now had a mammogram and biopsy. During my biopsy the Dr. told me, "I see your anxiety, and I will not let you wait for results, Ill be honest with you kid, I do this all day and it does not look good!, I will say it is caught early and not in your lymph and there is no water capsule around the area!" With this news I had broken down, this was last week. And now I wait for my actual results in which I am holding out hope that it comes back negative! I envision phone calls with my GP about him saying sorry for the scare, but I also don't want to set myself up for another shock! I am shaking as a I write this and thinking about what is possibly to come. I am filled with a thousand questions but at this point I dont have a clear trajectory so I am naturally feel lost and clinging to my phone in hopes my GP calls soon. Nothing feels real, yet it all has happened so fast that I have not yet had time to fully process this. I am scared outta my mind and feel like now I have it throughout my entire body. I go from rational thinking to outta control thoughts that are just so outrageous in seconds. I am naturally a positive, calm rational human but I have never been sick in my life and have always been the one looking after others! I have surgery consult on Aug 11th, which mentally I can handle the surgery but when my GP started throwing around the words chemo and radiation I just cannot mentally process these thoughts about myself ... I feel selfish in thinking about all this when individuals out there are going through so much more but I still need support and guidance through this, but dont know if I belong on this forum?  ... I am just lost in my own thought process which is weird ground for me I am usually the one that can analyis any situation and make a game plan with positive strategies ... but this ... this is the hardest thinking I have ever done ... 
Anyway, I just wanted to put this out there as I am hoping for those rational thinkers out there to support me in keeping my thoughts positive and in real time, as well maybe this supports someone to help them know they are not alone in their thought process either! Thanks for reading my story! 

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by MCoaster on Jul 29, 2020 4:48 pm

Hello Tamara12‍    Welcome to the community and thank you for your very honest and heartfelt post.  You are living the nightmare which so many people dread.  Finding a lump in a breast, because we are human and breast cancer is so often spoken about, often translates into a fear that that is what we have.  I know because that is what I thought over the past 30 years of approx 10 mammograms, needle biopsies and approx. 7 lumpectomies under general anaesthetic.   All came back as benign cysts or papillomas.  Then last October I was diagnosed with DCIS in one breast, which I, because of my age and anxiety I asked to be dealt with by a bilateral mastectomy.   I am sharing this to illustrate that until the results of the biopsy, which I take it was by needle, are back and as seems likely a lumpectomy is done I would have thought a definite diagnosis would not be easily possible.   I am certainly not a doctor or a nurse and speak only of my own experience.   I would suggest  that you start a notebook to keep track of tests, results, suggested treatment and also a list of questions which you want answered.  It is also very useful to have someone with you during consults to take notes or offer an extra pairs of ears.   I find that writing things down often helps me focus.

You rightly say “that nothing seems real” and until you receive a definite diagnosis rather than speculations the only thing that is real is the now.   The reason you cannot analyse this situation may be because you do not have all of the facts.  Believe me most of us have been there, rabbits in the headlights and petrified.   It is hard but try to bring your mind back to the known and present.   Many, including me, find mindfulness, meditation and yoga very useful tools.  Are you sleeping well?  There are lots of sites on the web to help.   I like a pod cast called Get Sleepy which has a calming voice telling stories useful but there are also many guided meditation sites.

Please keep in touch and know that this is a safe place to share experiences both physical and emotional, to ask and give answers to questions and to vent when necessary.   We only know by our member name and that often helps as we can be open without fear of hurting or worrying those close to us.

Lots of calming thoughts.

MCoaster
 

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by Peterpatch on Jul 29, 2020 5:24 pm

I can totally relate to your emotional ups and downs. The hurry up and wait I think sooo difficult. Once you have your initial diagnosis for surgery and the pathology report after the surgery it might be easier. The length of time for paper work and moving forward in a treatment is exhausting but people on this site are so supportive. Try to get a focus to help you get through the first set of waiting. Gardening, Sewing masks colouring jigsaw puzzles might help. Try to figure out questions to ask each step, people on her can coach you. Some of your app’t will be over the phone. I hope your surgeon will allow you to bring someone in to take notes and ask questions. Covid does slow things down a bit. I pray that you have patience, courage and supportive people around you. This is just the greatest site to help out emotionally and provide information. Let us know how we can help!

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by Wendy Tea on Jul 29, 2020 5:32 pm

Tamara12‍  Welcome and thanks for a great first post. I remember thinking those thoughts last year but I wouldn't have been able to put them into words so eloquently.  What helped me was having an idea it was cancer so I had time to weigh the options. I was told cancer, chemo and radiation.  You likely know about staging and different types of breast cancer.  I was like a deer in the headlights. I had a mastectomy and did not need chemo nor radiation.  Not everything you are told is true or will happen. But I was glad I had a chance to think of options before they were presented. Also a factor was the distance to the cancer clinic. Because of your location,  this might come into play. This year my brother traveled 3 hours each way 5 days a week for several weeks to Victoria for radiation. Please stay in touch.  We have had members that we supported here that had a cancer scare but received a clean bill of health. There is always hope. 
Healing takes time and opportunity. Wendy Tea

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by Buffythevampire on Jul 29, 2020 7:27 pm

Tamara12‍ When I first got a mammogram they asked me to come back but told me not to worry as lots of times it's just for a second image to compare. But when I went back they wanted to do an ultrasound on the left one but not the right. Then I got called back to have a biopsy done on the left side. This continued for a while with the right side only getting an ultrasound but the left side they would want to do a ultrasound and biopsy. Everything kept coming back ok until I got a bleeding nipple. 

I had a lumpectomy and 1 cm lump was removed then was sent for an MRI. The MRI found another lump but 2.5 cm. Both were in the left side and the right was still ok. I then had a mastectomy/expander surgery. It wasn't until after the pathology report came back that they told me I would need chemo. The 4 lymph nodes that they tested were all clear. I didn't need radiation. I don't think they can tell you whether you need chemo/radiation until the pathology report comes back from the tissue that was removed.

I had very manageable side effects from my chemo. I am all done my treatments which included herceptin and chemo. I am still taking an oral pill Letrozole which is a hormone blocker which I will take for 5 years. I am all done my surgeries and am just waiting on a new nipple.

You can do this, you are stronger then you realize!! 
 

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by Yuliya on Jul 29, 2020 7:29 pm

Tamara12‍  warm welcome to you! Please remember, whatever the outcome of you biopsy , there is always hope. ( And regarding breast lumps statistics is on your side)
A month ago I was waiting for my biopsy results. I have found a red spot just above my right breast areola. Ultrasound detected a small lump and biopsy was performed a few days later. I remember the days when I was staring at the phone and waiting for the call. Everytime my phone was ringing I was filled with dread.
My biopsy came back negative. However my doctor wants me to do follow up ultrasound in October. Sometimes I am thinking what if biopsy is false negative? I have a printed copy of my results so time to time I have to look at it just to give myself a reminder that there is no invasive malignancy in my breast.
Anyway.. please mind you mind. Positive mind will help you in whatever journey will be next. We are here for you!
 

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by Charles on Jul 30, 2020 6:47 pm

. . . I feel selfish in thinking about all this when individuals out there are going through so much more but I still need support and guidance through this, but dont know if I belong on this forum? 

When I was diagnosed with cancer, and in shock, I went to a meeting of my local support group.  And I thought:

"These men have been through what I'm going through -- and they're alive and walking around and planning future events.  They don't seem dead at all!"

Treat this forum as your new "virtual home".  You're going to get quite a bit of practice in being "the sick one" in real life.  Here, you're just one of the gang.  We're not in _exactly_ your place, but we do have maps of the territory. 

.    Charles
 

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by Tamara12 on Aug 5, 2020 12:41 pm

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support!
I have been processing my results, which have come back positive! I have DCIS, low grade. This is what I’ve been telling friends and family , “the worst, best news of my life!” I flipped out on Friday after my GP called and punched my car and cried a lot, but today I’m okay. I’m sad that I have to make this next journey in my life but I have accepted it now, as obviously I have to! I am ready to put my head up high and get through this! ... I am mostly positive about this whole experience and my sense of humour gets me through most days. I have a ton of books I’m reading and the science nerd in me has throughly enjoyed the learning I’m taking away from this! I have these books 

*Anticancer-a new way of life by David Servan
*Food that fights cancer-preventing cancer through diet
*How to starve cancer by Jane Mclelland 
AND finally this one makes me laugh
*Zen as F$&k-A journal for practicing the mindful art of not giving a Sh*t ... by Monica Sweeney 

I love knowledge as I feel it truly is power ... I’m always up for suggestions on new reads. 

oh and people have also suggested some films on Netflix... I haven’t watched yet! 

*what the health
*game changer
*forks over knives 

maybe these will be helpful for others as well! ?? 

my surgery consult is next week where I’ll have to make some choices I’m thinking, but I’m not really sure what the next few months will look like! 

Thank you all again, much love ❤️ 

Tamara 

ps. I’m still learning how to use this site ... I’m so grateful for everyone’s words ... I just figured out how to like your responses, ha! 
 

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by MCoaster on Aug 5, 2020 2:31 pm

Hello again Tamara12‍  

It is a strange thing to say that I am happy 😃 to hear about any diagnosis of any kind of cancer but your news of DCIS is indeed good.   I too am one of the fortunate ones who was diagnosed DCIS.   I can also relate to using my diagnosis as an opportunity to learn.   For example I did not know know about the lymphatic system but I do now and am putting my knowledge to good use.   Looking at my cancer as being “interesting” was a big tool in my toolbox 🧰 as it helped to be less anxious.   Whatever works eh!


Please keep us posted about what you decide to do next.  Everyone who posts helps others.  I won’t repeat my first post but am happy to answer any questions.

To make sure that a person you name in your post receives notification first type @  then with no space start to type the person’s name.  When the name appears in the blue box hit it and the name should then appear in blue in your post.   To “like” make sure you are logged in and hit thumbs up 👍


Big virtual hug.

MCoaster

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by Yuliya on Aug 5, 2020 11:07 pm

Tamara12‍  I was thinking of you. I am sorry that you biopsy came back positive for cancer. However I agree with MCoaster‍  - of all cancers DCIS low grade  is one of the best possible cancer scenarios. We are here for you to share your journey, please let us know about your treatment plan once you will meet your surgeon.
P.S thank you for a books and movies recommendations. 

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by Whitelilies on Aug 6, 2020 11:22 am

Tamara12‍ Hello
I too just read your latest post. and I am sorry that it did come back positive.  You WILL be supported here by MANY who can guide you and have been ON this same path.....
(My cancer, is down-under !)
 What I CAN share......is.........it IS time for you to head on over to Baskin n Robbins......(stand in line, wait your turn, wear a mask, bring credit card/no cash) and order a DOUBLE SCOOP of chocolate ice cream, WITH sprinkles.  Then..... do NOT share with anyone/not even your kids.....this treat is FOR YOU.
Then, IF you feel guilty about above treat; head to the park and JOG around....like for an hour!! lol

We are all here......I hope I made you smile!

Warmly
Lillian

Whitelilies

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by Tamara12 on Aug 6, 2020 2:05 pm

Whitelilies:
Tamara12‍ Hello
I too just read your latest post. and I am sorry that it did come back positive.  You WILL be supported here by MANY who can guide you and have been ON this same path.....
(My cancer, is down-under !)
 What I CAN share......is.........it IS time for you to head on over to Baskin n Robbins......(stand in line, wait your turn, wear a mask, bring credit card/no cash) and order a DOUBLE SCOOP of chocolate ice cream, WITH sprinkles.  Then..... do NOT share with anyone/not even your kids.....this treat is FOR YOU.
Then, IF you feel guilty about above treat; head to the park and JOG around....like for an hour!! lol

We are all here......I hope I made you smile!

Warmly
Lillian

Whitelilies

 

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by orchid*lover* on Aug 6, 2020 7:17 pm

Tamara12‍ Hello and sorry to hear you have DCIS...I was hoping for similar diagnosis as well but I have invasive kind and HER2 positive so going through the whole works of tx...certainly a life changer...
My oncologist gave me some info about diet for breast cancer prevention, as you were mentioning some good reading. The book is ‘How Not to Die’ and there is a great app called ‘Daily Dozen’...I don't consider them a bible but great reference and evidence based info....so wish you the best in your journey, positive thoughts sent your way! 🥰

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by MCoaster on Aug 7, 2020 12:33 am

Tamara12‍   I have just reread my last post and realize that I owe you an apology.  No cancer is good and I am truly sorry that what I intended to be supportive came out the wrong way.

With all my heart I wish you well on your journey.

MCoaster

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by Boby1511 on Aug 8, 2020 10:34 am

Tamara12‍ 

hi there! It’s ok to be greatful that your cancer is treatable. This is your journey and no cancer is easy pessie. Hoping this message finds you in peace.

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by ShariM on Aug 8, 2020 11:07 am

Hello fellow British Columbian! I am from Vancouver and I have just begun my journey also with Cancer. Even though mine is Rectal we all seem to have simular stories! Two things have stuck out for me in your story! 1st they caught it early! This is huge! 2nd you are in BC and we have some of the best Cancer treatments and the best  facilities anywhere! 

I don't like the wording your Dr. gave "this does not look good".  Really a scary thing to hear. Bedside manner is so important during this time. Mine was while I was getting my colonscopy. As soon as he was done he looked at me and said " you have Cancer" even before biopsy. Then walked away. 

My cancer is early stages to but while I was in the middle of my scans they could see it literally growing. They  knew after my biopsy that is was an aggressive one so I started treatment within that week. Don't worry as soon ask biopsy  comes back they will have a plan. My feeling during the process was get this thing out of me! 

You are in good hands and take some deep breathing, listen to meditative relaxing music, keep busy and the most important thing is keep POSITIVE! This is going to be a journey and show your family that it does not have to be a bad one. My husband looks at me and is in awe of how positive I have been even after my first Chemo. I am still going to lose my hair. Thats OK as I always wanted to try a pixie cut. It grows out. He said he will shave his head also. ❤

The Cancer community you wil learn is an amzung one.  Statics now say 1 in 2 people's will get Cancer in a life time. So never ask yourself "Why Me! It is just our time. 

Lots of great reading out there but don't overwelm yourself. Please one thing I did not do is Dr. Google! It is fullof misinformation.  I left it to my medical team to educate me on my Cancer. 

Something I also did was I let all my friends know on SocialMedia what I was diagnosed with. As I had a colonscopy a year ago and was told. See you in in 10 years as you are good! 9 months later I have a 8cm mass in my rectum and had no idea as I could not feel it until I started bleeding one day.  So since I educated my friends of my story I have had over 10 of them going for their FIT test and coloscopy! This makes me feel like I have done my job to educate!

Keep us up to date and keep positive! We are rooting for you and you can do this!!! ❤🙏

 

Re: Introduction_Waiting for biopsy results.

Posted by WestCoastSailor on Aug 8, 2020 11:42 am

Tamara12‍ 

Welcome to the club that nobody wants to join. And thank you for telling your story through the waiting. Sometimes I think they misnamed this disease. It should be called waiting. It won't be the only wait that you have.

Time for the monthly reminder that men get breast cancer too and so I can identify with many of the emotions. I chuckled when I read about punching the dash through tears. Yup the anger is part of it that I often don't acknowledge.

I did want to say that I think medical professionals have a special struggle with this disease. My family made me promise to be the patient and let the doctors be doctors. There is a thread over here that talks about the special challenges that nurses have. https://cancerconnection.ca/discussions/viewtopic/79/65627?post_id=323253#p323253

Don't think I saw a treatment plan yet. Have they given that or at least timeline for it?

Angus
My story: http://journey.anguspratt.ca