hi Sh0384 ,
You have had some great advice from the other ladies on site. I was diagnosed with IDC, Stage 1A, Grade 1 in May 2016. The largest tumour was 2.0 cm. Both breasts also had DCIS, extensive on the right side where the IDC tumours were. So, I was recommended right at the start for a double mastectomy followed by immediate reconstruction and I followed the surgeon's advice. Like you I am a worrier and as ashcon said, your decision will really come down to what you can live with - not just in the physical sense, but how you will function every day. I have not looked back and most days, I feel like me again, but it was a process. Just being given the diagnosis is life changing but the impact of the treatments just adds another layer. In the end, ask all the questions you need to, make a decision you feel will best support your physical and emotional goals and needs, and then advocate firmly, consistently, and persistently. Be sure to ask questions about the risks associated with treatments beyond surgery as those factors may also impact your decision.
As for your children, you will be surprised at what they can do independently and how much support they can offer you. I know as a mother, all we want to do is look after our children and do things for them, but when we can't it becomes crystal clear that our real purpose is to help them grow into independent and resilient adults who can handle whatever life throws at them. And that other people can do things for them and other people can help them - it does not always have to be me. Nothing does that better than necessity. When my children were only 12 and 13 my dad became very ill and as an only child, I had to spend a lot of time at my parent's home. My children stepped up; my daughter took over meal planning and cooking and my son took over the weekly laundry - and they both managed their dad LOL! When my mom became ill 3 years later and I moved in with her for the last weeks of her life to provide care, they stepped it up a notch again. And then when I was diagnosed, they were 22 and 23 and accepting responsibility and acting as caregivers in small doses came very naturally. Who knew?!? Like I said, when given the chance to be independent, they surprise us.
All the best as you research and discern........Minus2