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private room?
WendyIdz.
8 Posts

I would like to see a place (private room maybe) for those that have chosen not to do treatment but still need/want support. *thank you I'm feeling very supported and cared for here, sorry it's been a rough day losing friends and it makes me sad*

13 Replies
Whitelilies
2526 Posts

@WendyIdz. Hello Wendy…..(I hope it is OK)……I will copy/paste your post….and add in the 2 moderators, so they can see this/request, and hopefully……act upon it!

Warmly

Whitelilies

WendyIdz.
8 Posts

@Whitelilies

thank you 💕

Whitelilies
2526 Posts

@WendyIdz.

@Lacey

@Lianne

(having trouble tagging????)

Please read through this post below….I have re copied from @WendyIdz.

Thank you

WendyIdz.

2 Posts

I I would like to see a place (private room maybe) for those that have chosen not to do ttreatment but still need/want support.

Whitelilies
2526 Posts

@WendyIdz.

@Lacey_Moderator

@Lianne_Moderator

Hello: (my apologies for a ‘double send’/was struggling to tag???? Glad your names turned blue)

I have re-pasted a post from @WendyIdz. and wanted to bring it to your attention…….thank you, Whitelilies


WendyIdz.

3 Posts

I would like to see a place (private room maybe) for those that have chosen not to do treatment but still need/want support.

JenG
221 Posts

@WendyIdz. I feel like you feel like you're not getting the support you need because you've decided not to pursue treatment. Is that an accurate statement? I'm sorry if it is. Getting treatment is a personal choice for sure and we (should) all support you no matter what your decision is. It's your life, your body, and you are the best person to make the decision! I often felt, as I looked after my mom, that living a long life isn't for everyone. It's not pretty, it's painful, it's full of disappointment, you lose friends and loved ones all the time the older you get. And if you want to enjoy your remaining time here on earth without treatment, that's great! I support you. And I suspect most of us here do, but death (or choosing not to try and live longer) is hard to process for most of us. I certainly am afraid of it. But I also don't want to live my life in pain and discomfort so I get the no treatment plan.

Please continue to reach out as needed. And if you find yourself a private room, and need company, I'll chat with you anytime. :)

hugs,

jeng

WendyIdz.
8 Posts

@JenG Yes that is exactly it, I decide not to do treatment and BAMB all support gone. I understand how others feel but doing treatment wasn't going to save me or give me more time. It would have just made the few months I do have miserable. I am not choosing to die I am choosing a life of quality not quantity. And I still need support, we all do regardless of our choices.

Runner Girl
2997 Posts

@WendyIdz.
I'm wondering who you are looking for support from? People on this site, doctors, family?

My dad chose not to do treatment for his lung cancer. I chose to have treatment for my breast cancer.

WendyIdz.
8 Posts

@Runner Girl from the doctors no never, here yes I was hoping as well as friends and family. I do have support from the friends that stuck around and family. Should I not ask for support from the group here?

Runner Girl
2997 Posts

@WendyIdz.
You can absolutely ask for support here! You are not the first person here who has declined treatment. You just were not specific so I wondered where you were at and what support you were looking for.

You might like to check out the following Groups: Living with Advanced Cancer, Let's Chat, Creation Nation, Eating well when you have cancer, Laughter is the best medicine, spirituality and cancer, The women's room.

@WendyIdz.
Thanks for reaching out. I'm sorry you haven't been able to connect with someone in a similar situation yet. I encourage you to keep posting questions you may have to our community. Have you tried posting under your cancer type in forums?

I will take your feedback to the team!

Lacey

ACH2015
2432 Posts

Hi @WendyIdz.

I replied to one of your original posts. You clarified your thoughts on no treatment being one of your options after I responded. You certainly are the decision maker in what treatment you choose or decline. It is a personal choice to seek or decline treatments, and no one can judge someone else's decisions.

You commented that you have lost some supporters when they discovered you had cancer. I can tell you this is not unique to your situation, and some people simply can't handle or don't know what to say, and eventually they disappear or fade away.

@Runner Girl made a good suggestion about posting in the Living with Advanced Cancer group. I read through a good resource from the Canadian Cancer Society I'd like to share with you:

https://cdn.cancer.ca/-/media/files/cancer-information/resources/publications/advanced-cancer/32043-advanced-cancer-en.pdf?rev=bdce0550855848aaa8179f141d6d4366&hash=B9CDEA5F7AB7C14A5E7641D6F383BC2B&_gl=1*phrfgi*_ga*MTU2NzcyODE4MC4xNjYwOTAzMzM2*_ga_23YMKBE2C3*MTY2MDk0MTczOS41LjEuMTY2MDk0MTgwNC42MC4wLjA.

This is a very informative and supportive pamphlet. I think you will find it echoes how you feel and reinforces that choosing treatment or not is a personal choice (page 25 for example) that others need to respect.

I hope you find this site supportive and find others that you can share with. Someone (I believe it was @MaryAnne) said here not long ago that we should live each day as if we were dying. It gives perspective to doing what we can today, and using precious time to our advantage.

So, I hope this post helps you feel supported Wendy.

Keep well, and keep posting on the site.

ACH2015

Whitelilies
2526 Posts

@WendyIdz. Hi Wendy - please keep posting…….this is a no judgement zone…..we all support each other…we care…….

Please know……for many of us….friends/family DO “disappear”…..make like Houdini! And getting their support, goes downhill……I joined the site for support, from people who “get it”…..Understand it…….

We are here to support you Wendy!

Whitelilies

#supportingothers

Kims1961
2325 Posts

@WendyIdz.

Brilliant idea! Although there is no judgment here - whether you decide to do treatment or not, that is your decision - yet , maybe others would feel more comfortable sharing in a private “room”/ forum?

As others have said - this decision is our own. We take the information from our doctors and then make the best decision we can for our own lives. I made it clear to my oncologist the importance for me in quality of life. We are all going to die - no one is yet immortal - so all we can do is live life with passion, vulnerability and connection..or whatever is important to each of us.

I hear your courage and strength - your voice is important here!

Thank you, thank you. Kim

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