i am tired of having friends and family tell me he is okay and will beat the odds. I don't need false hope. I need reality.
I am very, very sorry if this triggers anyone. I just need to know what is reality.
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@Kaiolohia
good morning.
as a daughter of a pancreatic cancer patient; I hear you.
as a primary caregiver for my spouse diagnosed at stage 4 for a lymphatic cancer; I hear you.
as a breast cancer patient myself; I hear you.
folks just don't know what to say!!
I think that they think they are being supportive and helpful when they try to offer optimistic predictions. I'm like you. I want to know the reality of a situation so I can make plans, and honestly I don't want to be blindsided by a turn of events that I never expected. too stressful for me personally. I wanted ALL the info; good, bad or ugly. the mental exhaustion of caregiving is real.
if you want some up to date Canadian cancer information and statistics, perhaps call the Canadian Cancer Information Specialists. 1-888-939-3333.
there are no guarantees in this cancer game. my suggestion as a spouse, child & patient is to spend as much time as you can with your loved one. doesn't have to be ‘big bucket list things’ all the time…..watch a fave movie together, eat homemade toast with Cheese Whiz on it…..ha ha ha. these are the moments that will fuel you both.
hugs from over here
su
I have very little experience with pancreatic cancer. A friend of mine from elementary school was diagnosed very early - stage 1 - which almost never happens.
He went into treatment, was successful, but his disease returned, and he passed away. I’m sorry, but I can’t recall the timelines in his situation, because at the time I was giving care to my Dad, who was going through similar steps with lung cancer.
I agree with what @supersu said: people rarely know what to say when faced with news of a terminal illness, and live each day the best both of you can.
@Kaiolohia it’s what all cancer patients want - a looking glass that tells them the future…will I beat the odds, will I have a recurrence, will I have another cancer, will I live a long life cancer free…
Pancreatic cancer is a tough cancer to beat. I don’t have experience of your partners cancer - we lost my mother in law 11 weeks after she was diagnosed. I‘m not going to sugar coat it - it was brutal.
what do the doctors say? Some err on the side of caution and give the poorest prognosis, but you could ask what’s the median prognosis which should be realistic. But remember they can only tell you based on past statistics, and given that new treatments are becoming available those statistics are always out of date.
Im sorry we can’t give you the answers you are looking for xx
- you can try finding some folks with a long recovery from talking to the folks who run this group here.
https://wellspring.ca/online-programs/programs/all-programs/pancreatic-cancer-support-group/
I just want to make sure you saw these responses. It appears you changed your username and I wanted to be sure the system caught up with the change :)
Lianne
