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Twice in my life
1 Posts

Hello Ian just wondering if any person has some feed back for me. A little background info. I lost my mom some 25 plus years ago to breast cancer and I am now waiting for the results of my wife’s biopsy. I try not to think about what will happen and I know it is both on my wife and my mind. I guess what I am trying to say is what can I expect and do if my wife has a positive result. Well it has been 5 days and still waiting. Just wondering how people kept them self busy while waiting?. my biggest fear is I will either be at work or somewhere else when she gets the news.

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2008 Posts

@Unsure12 - you did one of the best things you can do by connecting with people here. So sorry to read you lost your mom to breast cancer.

Your wife hopefully will not get a diagnosis of breast cancer but if she does you will be glad to know that treatment for cancer has improved a great deal since your moms treatment. There are many wonderful people with breast cancer experiences here, that will help guide you and your wife if needed. Ask questions or just read through the forums. In the meantime you can get more support and information at the links below.

All the best to you both.





1956 Posts

@Unsure12 fingers crossed for your wife’s biopsy - not all lumps are cancer so there is hope!

My lump was cancer, found when I was 49. Thankfully we caught it early and after surgery, aggressive chemotherapy and radiation I’m clear of cancer and doing well three years after completing treatment.

Not all breast cancers need chemotherapy - hormone positive cancers may sometimes be treated just with hormone suppressing medications after the removal of the lump. And survival after a diagnosis of breast cancer is extremely good these days. As the most frequently diagnosed female cancer (men do get it too, but a tiny 1% of cases) it has received a great deal of research.

There are many women on here living well after breast cancer treatment - I can’t tag them all but here are a few @ashcon @Buffythevampire @supersu @Kims1961 @cancertakesflight @Runner Girl

And if you get news that it has spread there are women here living well with advanced cancer with their disease being treated as a chronic condition.

Wishing you and your wife well as you await the results…

#Breastcancer #Biopsy #waiting

2175 Posts


Glad you found us here. Perhaps if you find it helpful, maybe your wife would like to peruse this site too?

It's completely normal and natural to entertain “what if” scenarios in your heads at this point in the game. I know I did 5 years ago when I was diagnosed. But as, others have said, the last 25 years in advancements for BC treatments have been a game changer. (I remember my cousin responding with the voice of doom when he heard my news, along with the recommendation to never do chemo based on the bad experience his mother had 25 years ago with treatment and she only ended up dying anyway. Needless to say that was one of the worst conversations of my life!)

I did do chemo. And 2 surgeries. And 2 surgeries. And 5 years later I'm no evidence of disease after a diagnosis of Stage 3, difficult to treat type of breast cancer called triple negative.

I won't say ‘stay positive’ . Because that sometimes suggests that hope is all you need. Hope is good but you also need information, options, real conversations, questions answered. So stay determined.

I know diagnostic results are still pending (and I hope it's negative!) but, in addition to the other links shared with you, there is some great information in the publication Coping With Cancer.


Thinking of you both. When is your wife's next appointment?

1108 Posts


oh boy! what a lovely post - thank you so much for expressing what so many of us might experience. thank you for reaching out as a caregiver. 😍

I want to warmly welcome you and your love to this safe place on the internet.
this group of folks is so knowledgable, generous and vulnerable. nothing like getting info from folks who have first hand experience - #amiright.

I will cross fingers AND toes that your partners biopsy news is good. I have been told over and over, (I've had LOTS of biopsies), that many biopsies are benign.
I will wish this for you two. 🤞

but, if like me, your bride receives a different result please know that treatment has changed a lot over the last 25 years.

my story: I was my partners caregiver over 20 years ago, and know that when I was told I was now a card carrying member of the ‘C’-club, I was immediately brought back to those days. I am happy to report that my cancer story now was very different than theirs then.

until you know what you are dealing with, try to enjoy this beautiful Sunday. here in Alberta it is sunny and that in itself is a gift for us here!

but also know that this community is here for you both always. let us support you.

thank you for your post.
happy Sunday

#newdiagnosis #caregiver #biopsy #scanxiety #cancerisawaitinggame #realtalk

@Unsure12 I was in my 50's when I was diagnosed. I had my surgery first then chemo (no radiation) and then had more surgery (I wanted reconstruction). I am all finished surgeries, treatment and am on a hormone blocker, Letrozole which I have to take for 5 years (almost at the ½ way mark). I take a hormone blocker to help with recurrence.

Do I look like I did before, not exactly

Do I feel like I did before, not exactly

But I am still here and trying to live my life. There are way more options in surgeries and treatments then there was in the past.

2271 Posts


You have some amazing responses here and I am so glad you reached out.

The waiting for results is so difficult - for me - almost worse than when i got the news that i had breast cancer. It was 10 days of “ what if” - I realized the more i tried to not do the “ what if’s” the more it was in my mind. So, I would let myself go to those dark places - but timed it - say 10 minutes - and then tried to do something to distract myself. Sometimes when we think worse case scenario - it helps to prepare us, empower us - that we have some control back. Then…take a break. Distract yourselves with some exercise - fresh air can do wonders. Maybe tackle a cleaning project, a hobby, anything that can give you a bit of a break from the “what if’s”

An idea might be to get a journal/notebook - to start writing down any questions you may have and to also take notes for when you get the call.

Like you have heard from the others - breast cancer treatment has come a long way.

I’m so glad you posted. Kim

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